Dreaming of a Prospect Park Sleigh Ride

Christmas Eve brought a dream where I could feel the wind on my face, taste the snow flakes on my tongue and hear a familiar voice saying to me to "hold on tight" as I put my arms around his neck and sat on his back. It was night sledding and we were on our favorite hill near the pond. The air was crisp and I felt nervous excitement when I grabbed his neck and we flew down the hill. I could hear the kids from east 15 th street laughing. I could see my cousins at the bottom of the hill. I was safe. I was having fun. I was screaming. I was with Pete.

Thank you to Patty for the beautiful ornaments that Pete's sister Barbara is getting. You are too kind to us.

And thank you to all those special people who continue to donate to the organizations we are fond of.

Sending good wishes for the holidays to you all.


Good Things Come in Packages

This week, we received a few nice parcels.

One giant-sized package was from Eloise Thiery in France. She painted this picture of Peter in June 2004 and was gracious enough to send it to me for the family. I'm wondering if it might be a great idea to have a gallery showing of all the beautiful artwork and photos of Peter's fans. Maybe something to think about for his birthday. There are all these great gallery spaces in Dumbo Brooklyn. Maybe ... we'll see. Eloise, thank you for inspiring me

Also, Peter's sister Pat received letters of thanks from St. Christopher's Inn, Little Shelter Animal Rescue and Autism Speaks  for donations made in Peter's name. Thank you to "The Bands," "Theresa Macri," and an "anonymous" donor. Your thoughtfulness will help so many people and animals this year.

Also, this week, Peter's Tree was planted in Prospect Park:

For more information, go to the Facebook page: Peter's Tree


A Crop Of Pumpkin Love

TY Mary Wolfe

A good friend of the blog,
 Jessica Cassino
sent in this blog post
 she wrote on Halloween.

Please check it out: Blog: Frock & Roller
Post: Pumpkins, Popcorn Balls, and Peter Steele
Link: http://www.frockandroller.com/2011/10/pumpkins-popcorn-balls-and-peter-steele.html

<<<<<<<< - >>>>>>>>

Thanks to Another Jessica (Black # 1)
for this next picture taken at a Virgin store signing:


Mending The Pain

With Halloween being synonomous with
Peter Steele & Type O Negative,
We thought this would be a fitting time
To say Thank You to the legion of Peter's fans who
Read this blog
Grieved with us all these months
Shared your own personal pains
Honored Peter with portraits & poetry
And reminded us how much his thoughts and fantasies
Impacted your lives.

Our family couldn't have healed without
your support
kind words
daily messages
charming notations
countless well-wishes & prayers.

The best decision we made this year was to start this blog.

Now, we must end it.

Peter's legacy lives on through all of you.
Everytime you introduce his music to a new person,
you are inspiring someone to mend their pain
by listening to some else who wore their emotions
on his sleeve and through his music.

While we'll no longer be posting our personal Peter stories,
however Darcie will still be posting your
 comments, artwork & memories on a weekly basis
we have no intention of taking the site down.

It's here for you to continue to enjoy.

This post is dedicated to the countless friends we made from all over the world

Let's leave this last post with a song fitting for this day:

Black No. 1

I went looking for trouble
And boy
I found her...

She's in love with herself.
She likes the dark
On her milk white neck.
The Devil's mark.

It's all Hallows Eve.
The moon is full.
Will she trick or treat?
I bet she will.

She's got a date at midnight
With Nosferatu.
Oh baby, Lilly Munster.
Ain't got nothing on you.

Well when I called her evil
She just laughed.
And cast that spell on me.
Boo Bitch Craft.

Yeah you wanna go out
'cause it's raining and blowing.
You can't go out
'cause your roots are showing.

Dye 'em black.
Dye 'em black.

Black black black black No. 1
Black black black black No. 1.

Little wolf skin boots
And clove cigarettes.
An erotic funeral
For witch she's dressed.

Her perfume smells like
Burning leaves.
Everyday is Halloween.

Yeah you wanna go out
'cause it's raining and blowing.
You can't go out
'cause your roots are showing.

Dye 'em black.
Dye 'em black.

Black black black black No. 1
She dyes'em black
Black black black black No. 1
Black No. 1.

Loving you
Loving you,
Love loving you
Was like loving the dead.

Loving you
Loving you,
Love loving you
Was like loving the dead.

Loving you
Was like loving the dead,
Loving you
Was like loving the dead.

Loving you
Was like loving the dead,
Was like loving the dead
Was like loving the dead.

Was like loving the dead
Was like loving the dead.

Loving you
Loving you,
Love loving you
Was like loving the dead.

Was like fucking the dead.

Loving you
Was like loving the dead,
Loving you
Was like loving the dead.


Loving you
Loving you
Loving you,
Loving you
Loving you
Loving you
Was like loving the dead.

Was like loving the dead
Was like loving the dead.

Black black black black No. 1
She dyes'em
Black black black black No. 1
Black No. 1.

Black black black black No. 1
Black black black black No. 1.


With Lots Of Love from Pete's surviving immediate family:
Barbara, Pat, Pam, Cathy, lil' Nan, Michelle, Darcie, Tara, Marie, Siobhan, Victoria, Antonio, Samantha, Tristan & all his kitties.

For those of you who asked where to donate money
in Peter Steele Ratajczyk's name
here are a few organizations that we endorse:

MusiCares (Musician's Assistance Program)
This organization gave assistance to Pete in times of his addiction challenges.
Meant for musicians to have a place to turn,
in times of financial, personal, or medical crisis,
its primary purpose is to focus the resources and
attention of the music industry on human service
issues which directly impact
 the health and welfare of the music community.
The foundation's programs include emergency
financial assistance, addiction recovery,
outreach and leadership activities, and senior housing.
The Little Shelter Animal Adoption Center
Pete’s beloved cat died the same day Pete did. 
Everyone knows of Pete’s love of animals,
and this is a no-kill shelter in Long Island.
33 Warner Road
Huntington, New York 11743
631-368-8770 x 206
Autism Speaks
Peter had a great interest in the autism phenomenon,
and had many books on the subject in his vast collection of books.
Follow the site tabs: Donating, In Someone’s Honor, “In Honor of” or “In Memory of”,
St. Christopher’s Inn
Dedicated to men in crisis; the Friars treat chemical dependency,
and provide primary health care and temporary housing. 
Clients help pay for their stay through work for the community.
Franciscan Friars of the Atonement, Graymoor
2011 St Christopher’s Inn, Inc.
21 Franciscan Way
Garrison, New York 10524
… …


Would You Suffer Eternally?

I wanted to thank Patty P
for making these adorable
Peter Steele ornaments & 
sending them to me to give out the the sisters.

The six she sent are divided by the colors green and red, and are painted with Peter's name, birth & death dates, and symbols. I am sending one to each of the sisters - Barbara, Patricia, Pam and Cathy (and keeping a set of each color for myself). My cousins will have to fight me for them.

I have mine hanging in my window

<<<<< - >>>>>>

Annie Riordan of California
Sends us the most heartwarming artwork

Thank you for always thinking of the family

Christian Woman

Forgive her for she knows not what she does

A cross upon her bedroom wall - from grace she will fall
an image burning in her mind - and between her thighs

A dying god-man full of pain - when will you cum again?
before him beg to serve or please - on your back or knees

No forgiveness for her sins - prefers punishment
would you suffer eternally - or internally - ah

For her lust - she'll burn in hell - her soul done medium well
all through mass manual stimulation - salvation

Corpus christi - she needs - corpus christi - corpus christi

Corpus christi - she needs - corpus christi - corpus christi
body of Christ - she needs - body of Christ - body of christ

She'd like to know - God - love - God - feel her God - inside of
her - deep inside of her - ah

She'd like to know - God - love - God - feel feel feel her god -
inside of her - deep inside of her

Inside of her - deep inside of her

Jesus christ looks like me - jesus christ - jesus christ looks
like me - jesus christ

Jesus christ looks like me - jesus christ oh - jesus christ looks
like me - jesus christ - ah

Which Video Version Do You Like Better? :

UnAuthorized? Not Too Sure Who Stands To Make Money From This


Roadrunner Records will release a special vinyl box set of Type O Negative's label catalog exclusively via independent retailers on Black Friday, which lands on November 25 this year.

As the first band to achieve platinum status on the Roadrunner Records roster, Type O Negative didn't rewrite the rules. They simply tore the rule book up, burned what was left of it and did whatever the hell they wanted with the smoldering ash. The result was nothing short of brilliant, as they combined dirge-like doom with head down, gothy grooves, all the while retaining the sort of signature melody that made their songs utterly memorable, infesting your brain like a virus.
Of the box set, Type O's Johnny Kelly said, "This looks great but we're disappointed that Roadrunner couldn't get it together to do the scratch 'n' sniff cover we wanted for The Origin of the Feces."
The vinyl box includes all Roadrunner released Type O Negative material contained within one collector's box. Each album will be issued on double green vinyl, with the album art recreated, including the controversial, rarely seen original cover of The Origin of the Feces. Type O fans know all about that cover and the anatomy which it features.
Each album will also have new, branded liner notes documenting the genesis and completion of each album. An exclusive sticker sheet with six mini bumper stickers will also be included in this must own set for Type O Negative diehards. It's an instant collector's item.
This set includes the following releases:
Slow, Deep and Hard (1991)
The Origin of the Feces (1992)
Bloody Kisses (1993)
October Rust (1996)
World Coming Down (1999)
Life Is Killing Me (2003)


[Published on: 10/26/11]


Those Feelings From When I Was a Teen

This memory comes from one of our readers who wishes not to be named. Enjoy:

It was early May 2000, I had just finished high school & was in the throws of heartache and loss. I decided to spend my savings on a plane ticket to Europe. I had to leave my hometown, unable to withstand being close to all my accumulated memories and the lingering pain of a lost love. I contacted a good friend with the news, he put me up in his little room & we were destitute. We saved everything we made, trading things for food, then caught a set of wings to Paris in June of that year. Having so much that I wanted to see I left my friend to seek out ancient places, stir real or imagined past lives and kill the pain. By mid July I had parted with some kids I'd met in Venice, having slept in San Marcos square by day, and running the labyrinth of canals and bridges by night. The train departed early, still drunk on loss and wine I slept, waking briefly to scenes of foggy towns on the Czech border. I awoke amidst glorious mountains, the sun articulating every vista and tree. We stopped briefly at an abandoned train stop, wooden & splintered by time, a single sign there read, Frankenstein as my path ascended hillside then mountain. The beauty of the forest set me to plug in my portable speakers. October Rust, the smell of cedar and clean air rushing into the cabin windows. As the sun began to set silhouettes of ancient forests, steeples and mountains slowly crawled by as the sky became red. As though plunging into icy water I was awake and braced by the unimaginable beauty of the music and scenes rolling by with each passing moment. Taking in the vastness of time my thoughts drifted back, guided by Pete's voice and the soaring wall of sound into cathartic feelings of hope and mystery. 

I ended up in Chemnitz, formerly Karlmarxstadt met a girl who took me into her flat on the rainy night I planned to sleep in the station. With her boyfriend and we listened to Type O till sunrise, recalling sweet memories, crossing borders from that little room into the great dark forest from which I had come.

<<<<<<<<< - >>>>>>>>>
TY Jonny for your contribution:
Hi, my name is Jonny.  I'm from Los Angeles and have been quite a fan of Pete and Type O since 1993, and like every subscriber to your blog, Pete's music touches a part of me that no other music has ever.  Back when I was 16 years old in 1993, I was a long haired rocker and played bass in a local Thrash Metal band in Hollywood.  We would play various clubs on the Sunset Strip and then they would make us leave immediately after because we were under age.  Once in a while we would sneak back in to watch the other bands play their sets.  One evening I was at a show and a girl came up to me and said, "You know you look like Peter Steele."  (I'm Polish/Russian/Italian and am 6'5" tall).  I asked her who this guy was and she told me about Type O Negaive, so I was curious.  The next morning I went to Wherehouse Music and bought Bloody Kisses.  When I got home and put it on, the music instantly touched me and I listened to the album over and over and over, every time giving me goose bumps.  I related perfectly to the deep and dark sensuality of the music and lyrics and I became a fan instantly.  The album became my most prized possession.  I listened to that music alone in my room, with my girlfriends, at the gym, when I was sad, in the car, at school and I even lost my virginity listening to it, ha!  I was a moody bastard, but no matter what mood I was in, I was always in the mood to listen to Type O Negative.  Being a 16 year old kid and not having a great relationship with my father at the time, I think Pete kinda became a role model to me.  I could relate to him as a bass player who was really left handed but learned how to play right, his outlook on the world as well as to his physicality.  I would read every interview about Pete and Type O I could find and even had the Negative symbol tattooed on my calf.  I saw them every time they came into town for the Bloody Kisses and October Rust tours.  At one show I was at, The House Of Blues in Hollywood for the "World Coming Down" tour in 1999, I pushed my way to the front of the stage, right under Pete.  In the middle of a song, after taking a swig of his bottle of wine, he held it out and handed it down to me.  I took a few swigs and then security came and took it away.  Ha, that made my night.  When I would go out to party at one of the local "metal" clubs/bars, people would come up to me throughout the evening and tell me how I look like Peter Steele.  My friends and I would always joke around and tell them I'm his little brother.  We would always get a good laugh.  Between the way Pete's music has touched me and my admiration of him, Type O had quite an influence on my life

About 13 years have gone by since that show in '99 and I've grow quite a bit.  I cut off my hair years ago, have changed my style with the times, been through school, started my own company, lived in different cities around the world, and have been through many relationships etc.  I'm now 34, live in Beverly Hills where I built my business and have a nice life.  I remember the sadness I felt when I read that Pete had passed.  I sat there in front of my computer for hours with a knot in my stomach trying to make sense of it.  Why?  I felt a mix of sadness and anger to think about all the ideas, feelings and music in his brilliant mind, that he never got a chance to express and record.  Having been caught up in the hustle and bustle of life over these years, I've lost touch with most of the music I grew up listening to, including Type O.

About about a month ago, a client of mine said something to me that sparked a memory of my youth which in turn sparked a memory of Type O which tugged a string inside of me.  I went home, put on Type O Negative and sat there in the dark listening for hours.  Everything came back to me, all the memories, all those feelings from when I was a teenager that Pete's music gave to me.  It was wonderful.  There's a side of me that got buried in these last 13 years underneath all the B.S. in life.  Listening to Pete's music again has dug it up.  I feel re-energized and have this new excitement again for life, like I had in my youth.  I can't really put into words how Type O Negative's music makes me feel, but the subscribers of this blog know exactly what I'm talking about.    

I love reading your blog everyday, please keep sharing.  Pete lives on in all of us!

I came across this radio interview with Pete which I got many laughs from.  I don't know if you have ever heard it. 
Note: This link has been posted before on the blog, but I thank Jonny for offering it again.



Peter Was Always Genuine & Down To Earth

I’ve been a Type O fan for years and have had the pleasure of meeting them at various shows and signings. They are a great bunch of guys and Pete was always genuine and down to earth, just really polite and a good guy to be around. I was lucky enough to have a camera at some of these events, so I wanted to share them with you. The first one was taken  at Loony Tunes at a signing in New York in March 2007, the second was taken at The Rams Head Live in Baltimore MD in May 2008 (which was sadly my last Type O show) and the third was taken at the Trocadero in Philadelphia PA on Halloween 2007. They were my favorite shows, when they would come to Philly for Halloween.
Thanks for all you do and share on your blog. I am thankful for the memories and the music-for all Pete shared with so many people. He is missed. Thanks for taking the time to read this email and I hope you like the photos. Take it E (-)
Philadelphia PA
 A little disappointed that The Phoenix didn't put TON music
up higher on the list. Your thoughts?
Black No. 1 made #21 on their list of
Top 100 Goth Rock Songs



As the Clear Crystal Cold Caresses My Soul

Every Guy's Fantasy Came True In This Video

A still from the video

It's no secret we're close
As sweaty velcro
Like latex, fur and feathers

In their '62 Vette
Sharing one cigarette
in a black light trance then
Go go dance
Go go trance

They keep me warm on cold nights
We must be quite a sight
In our meat triangle
All tangled


TY to Trench for this email & poem sent to the blog:

First I want to express my condolences. While the world has lost Peter I
know how hard it can be for a family to deal with such a loss.

I've been listening to Type O since I was in my mid 20s. I'm 42 now. I
was never the type to follow them from club to club and I only got to
see them once and that was in North Carolina of all places. However I
suffered from depression for the longest time and I when I heard Pete's
lyrics the depression didn't seem as bad as it did knowing that a talent
like him had similar doubts and fears.

I constantly thought of suicide but instead of taking my own life I
decided to put pen to paper as many people who suffer from depression do
and I banged out a few lyrics or poems, depending what you want to call

The one I'm going to show you was heavily inspired by Type O Negative. I
had wished that if I ever got the chance to meet Peter that I could get
his critique on it even if he hated it.

Thank you for your time.


“Dark River”

October leaves fall dead upon the water
Bitter stench of romance in the air
Shadows offer me no refuge
Just my black cross to bear
The great sadness sickens me
Heed the dark river water’s call
Breaking through the glass surface
Off the banks of the river I fall

Fall backwards into the water
In a frozen crucifix pose
Too late for me to turn the tide
This is the liquid fate I chose
I can no longer fathom my existence
As the clear crystal cold caresses my soul
My eyes close as I lose sight of the surface
Open my mouth and let the water take its toll

Come to rest as my body reaches the bottom
Sink softly into the rivers sand
Death’s kiss is fresh upon my lips
Then she takes me gently by the hand
My body looks so peaceful as I leave
Crests of the river begin to swell
Death gives me one last embrace
As I begin my descent into hell


Thanks to Jana for submitting this poem that reminds her of Autumn:

The air is warm – it`s the breath of autumn
Falling leaves is dancing through the streets
A colourful death – year is dying
Farewell my God
I won`t crying
I visit some graves
Send a flower-greeting
And turn on a light (might the way less dark for the night)
Every year is one more
So am I get older every hour
One day to get none is my fear.
The day is filled with orange
Nature presents their best dress
Hear a soft knocking at this days door
Let the ghosts of the past in my floor
The evening sun send thoughs of thus what will come
Burning candles all over and the pumkin grin
The horrible nightmare will soon begin
Invite the dead ones – those who were gone
Like every new year I will run out in grief
This is my day- it is
All hallows Eve.


A Tribute For Those Who Asked

Because you asked for more, the Ratajczyk family and

Wicked Threads are putting out another short run of

Tribute t-shirts. Please see the link below to order shirts.


In Collaboration with the Ratajczyk Family


Peter Steele's Official Memorial Shirt

As gratitude to a legion of dedicated fans who have always

Loved Peter More Than He Loved Himself

We are releasing for purchase a limited edition shirt

In Memory of Pete's Contributions to the Music World

Once our shirt production costs are recovered from your purchase,
the proceeds are used to keep Pete's legacy alive.

Special thanks to Photographer Micheal Strider and
Cathy Ratajczyk for permission to use their
photographs of Peter for the shirt. Any and all
photographs of Peter on the internet cannot be
used for printing on apparel unless the photographer
gives signed authorization. All images are subject to copyright laws.



October 30th 7:30 - 10:30pm


CRAWDADDY on Harcourt Street.

If you are in Dublin, please go and support this band

Thank you



See Ya In Philly On Friday, October 28th

We Hope To See You All At

The Haley Band's

Peter Steele Memorial Halloween Bash

Friday, October 28th
8:00pm - 11:30pm


The Legendary Dobbs
304 South Street (off S. 3 Street)
Philadelphia PA

Some of Peter's sisters will be in attendance to support
The Haley Band's Efforts in the Memorial for
Peter Steele

Thanks to Steve Haley for everything


No One Under 12 yo Allowed in Basement

This Halloween memory comes from Peter's niece Marie:

Josh, Billy from East 15th Street, Pete at Halloween party in basement

When Peter was about 17yrs old he asked my Grandparents if he could throw a big Halloween party in the basement.. Nettie and Peter said yes, and Peter set up the rules for his Halloween bash: 1) everyone had to have a costume 2) No one was allowed under the age of 12.

Well, I was 10 at the time!!!

I cried and cried to go to Peter's big bash...But I was told I was under 12...So I wasn't alowed to go. For weeks before the party everyone was getting their costumes ready. Peter was buying  decorations. I saw beer, chips, dips, cookies brought in.  And All I could do was watch and cry. All my cousins were invited because they were all older than 12 yo -- except me

I Remember sitting upstairs in my grandparent's house the night of the party. All the cousins were coming in the house with their costumes on. A pirate, a clown, a swordsman... sigh... While everyone was heading to the basement I remember standing there and sobbing because I couldn't go downstairs to the party. I could hear the voices of Peter's friends coming into the house. I could hear laughing. joking, music blasting.

I turned to my Nana Nettie and said that I really wanted to go downstairs and that it wasn't fair that Peter invited everyone else but me. She gently wiped away my tears and said "come on...hang out with Gramps and I...Midget wrestling is coming on tv "( Nana's Favorite).

As the night went on...Peter had to come up and downstairs to get ice cubes and stuff...Everytime he came up I would stand there and cry...Begging..." PLEASE...Let me come to your party!!! I'll behave!!! I'll just sit and watch..I Promise Pete...."

After about the third time he came up I stopped asking...I just stood there looking pathetic. Then  Peter turned to me on his way downstairs, and said "Come on....You can come down to the party"

I'll never forget that moment.  I Looked up at him and said, "What about your friends?? Are they going to be mad that a kid is hanging out with you??"  Peter looked at me and said, " Who cares what they think!!!  Your the only one out of all my nieces that's not there...I want you to come" 

I remember Jumping up and down and screaming on the top of my Lung's YEAH BABY!!!!!  At that moment Peter looked at me and said, " None of that shit downstairs" 

Caveman Pete and Marie sans costume

That was one of the best Halloween Parties I have ever been to...I had no costume on...I sat in the corner like I promised and just watched and smiled the whole time  Everytime Halloween comes around I think of that night...How Peter let me join his Party...Iam Forever Grateful...


You Have An Enormous Soul

The Ratajczyk Family  is very thankful to a wonderful lady (and friend) Jeanne (dunebuggy4) who graciously takes our worn out old photos, restores them and sends them back to me. Jeanne - You are amazing ! Thank you for your beautiful friendship and help in making our treasured photos clear again ! Sending some pug love to you:


 House With The Garden Where A Single White Egg Sits

Thank You Christine Batchelder  For Sharing Your Peter Story:

Hello lovely members of the Ratajczyk family,

I stumbled upon for the love and I thought it incredible and touching and I wanted to share my Pete story.

My dad always supported my shenanigans, if i wanted to dye my hair green and listen to "music with bass lines that cause a sonic massage" he was fine with it, but he'd be damned if his baby girl was going to a rock show un-supervised!  So on or around halloween, from age 14-16 my 5'4 father would accompany and watch over his 4'11 daughter, in a shitty dive bar like "club" in Boston (either axis or avalon), even if i would give him a ration of crap for wearing ear plugs that glowed under the black lights. 

My 17th year of existence, we both got jobs working security for their concert crew (mostly so i could afford my friday night concert addiction).  So when I got the go to work both nights of TON's scheduled gigs I could've done back flips.  During set up for the security crew, which was after TON's sound check had wrapped up I found my 4'11 inch self standing infront of a 6'7 Pete and his red-headed lady friend.

 I craned my neck back to look him in the eye, and the only thing that would come out of my mouth was "God damn I'm short!"  and he in kind responded "Well you have an enormous soul."  So my father and I talked about the nature of the soul, and how music can affect peoples moods. My dad, true to form, gave Pete shit for the volume of the music at the shows, and apparently (he didn't tell me this till 10yrs later) pulled Pete aside to ask why he was conversing so freely with his 17 year old kid, and Pete shook my father's hand and told him he raised a polite girl with wisdom beyond her years, I don't know if he was buttering him up to avoid "angry dad" or what but it was still nice to hear 10yrs after the fact.

The next year I didn't work security, but still wrestled my way to the front, and pete handed me a set list at the end of the show.

The next TON show I made it to was in Worcester for the Life is Killing Me tour and the largest venue I'd ever seen them play in, after the show as I was walking to my car I saw Pete as he was heading out the back, he took the time to say hi and chat for a few minuets despite the fact it was freezing out and his ride was waiting.

I feel privileged to have had even those few short conversations with him, I only wish I could have had a chance to talk to him at length.  He was articulate, polite, and genuinely nice.  He took the time to talk to an awkward girl with hair the color of a safety cone and her crazy over protective dad. 

Type O's music offered me refuge, solace, peace, and as odd as it may sound a feeling of kinship.  Type O would become my coping mechanism, when shit hit the fan, or I found myself emotionally gutted, Peter's music was always just a button press away, a balm to my tattered mind.

I just wanted to share the brief kindness Pete showed me, even if having written it out it seems trivial and passing, but it's always meant something to me.

My deepest condolences for your loss.

All the best,


Thanks to Michelle Frost to pointing us to a website about "old Brooklyn." Here is her note to us:

Dear Ratajczyk Family,

Thank you for the wonderful website about Peter. It makes me feel that he is still alive--in our hearts--because of all the love and devotion he inspired in so many. Reading your posts helps get me through my dreary workdays. I especially enjoy the old family photos.

These photos of Old Brooklyn, in particular, Coney Island should prove entertaining: http://www.screanews.us/NewYork/BrooklynOld.htm

Best Regards,
Michele Frost, cat lover


Want to know WHOA's best songs to work out to? Jessica Cassino
was gracious enough to recognize TON for her gym playlist

A Gym Playlist For A Bearable Workout

By: Jessica Cassino
Working out sucks. I hate it. The cheesy Top 40 hogwash they play at the gym doesn’t help either. It is distracting and makes me want to jump off the treadmill. I made a playlist to get me through my daily sweat sessions.

  1. “Shoot to Thrill” – AC/DCThis song should be playing while I am doing crunches. 3 sets of 15. It will make me forget about the burn that goes with ab tightening.
  2. “Dog Days Are Over” – Florence +The MachineThis song has gotten me through plenty of Spin classes. It makes me forget about my shitty day and helps me focus shrinking my butt. It is also good for running. Florence says it herself, “ The horses are coming/So you better run”.
  3. “Wreckin’ Bar (Ra Ra Ra)” – The Vaccines
    Great song to do pull-ups OR push-ups to. It is catchy and fast.
  4. “The World Is Not Enough” – GarbageWhen you are lifting that Olympic bar, put this on and keep going. It is well worth the blood, sweat, and tears.
  5. “Main Offender” – The HivesThis is a great warm-up song. Go get your jump rope.
  6. “Too Fake” – HockeyFast enough for the StairMaster or the Elliptical. “I do everything that I’m told to.” Yep, like not eating a jar of Novella.
  7. “Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is” – JetI still fit into my gym pants from freshman year of high school. I am 30. While I am doing lunges and squats, this song is blaring.
  8. “A Dustland Fairytale” -The KillersAnother good song for Spin class or lifting my 15 lb. weights.
  9. “Zero” -Yeah Yeah Yeahs
    Every gym should play this song. Everyone is there to become a size 0. “Can you climb, climb, climb higher?” Karen O asks. Does going to the gym 6 days a week count?
  10. “Pain” – Type O NegativeWhile I am pushing myself to the point of almost puking, Pete Steele is screaming macho crap into my dainty, pink Urbanears.
  11. “Fundamentally Loathsome” - Marilyn Manson
    I wish they would play this in my Pilates class. It would make it so much more bearable. It is one of Manson’s lighter songs, if you ask me.
  12. “No One Sleeps When I’m Awake” -The Sounds
    “You know it hurts so bad/Just like I knew that it would/But I’d do it again/Do it again if I could”. That is how your workout is supposed to feel.
  13. http://whoamagazineonline.com/2011/10/11/a-gym-playlist-for-a-bearable-workout/


Bought Me Some Stinky Eggs

The other morning, I drove by Peter's house on East 18th Street. It still looks the same. The new owners are still using the same garbage pails that have been in front of the house since Peter brought them home years ago. I parked the car and just leaned against the light post in front of the garden. I smiled. Oh so many years ago, we'd be watching Peter "plant" his many dozens of eggs in the bushes so that they could get nice and stinky for Halloween. I looked down the street to Josh's childhood house and remembered the dummy hanging from the tree. I walked down the Kippel's driveway and peered into the back yard. There was no pool. The porch was in rotting. Nettie was not seen sitting at the table with her crumbcake in one hand and hot tea in the other. Peter Sr. wasn't a fixture anymore with his filterless ciggy poised in one hand, bare chested showing his "Nettie" tattoo and perched on a bench. No one I know lives there. The neighborhood is completely different. The houses have facelifts. But the memories ... That's all we have right...

I must be about 4 yo here with Peter in the
backyard of Nettie's house.
There is a similar photo of Peter taken the same day,
that he always had with him wherever he moved.
It was taken from his home the day he died.
If you see it hanging in someone's house
(or hidden under their bed)  -- swipe it for me.
It was Nettie's favorite photo of her son.


Unsuccessfully Coping With The Natural Beauty of Infidelity

Trust and you'll be trusted
Says the liar to the fool
Lust so what if you're busted
In love and war there ain't no rules

Do you believe in forever?
I don't even believe in tomorrow
The only things that last forever
Are memories and sorrow

Out of sight, out of mind
The motto, the betrayal
The prophets preach to forgive and forget
I'm sorry, but I am unable

Live from PA

So, I got back into the car. I drove to the store and bought a dozen eggs. I went back to Nettie's house,  pulled one egg out of the package and positioned it in the front garden, behind the bushes. By Halloween it should be nice and stinky. Not sure if I'll come back to retrieve it ... It would be nice to know that it is there... just in case a very tall Brooklyn boy comes home and wants to play a little trick on an unsuspecting  treater. 
Nostalgia is a bitch ...


It Is October's Perpetual Agony

This weekend, Peter's grandniece & I went to a very special engagement party for
a dear friend of Peter's, whom I first met over ten years ago.
As Siobhan & I drove through Westchester, up into Connecticut, along the water's edge,
the beauty of nature called to us. I know, if Peter was alive,
we would have made this trip together.
Thank you Jen & Mike for inviting us to your engagement party.
I'm sure Peter would have wanted to be there.

I love the photos that Jen takes ... they are hauntingly enticing.

Check out Jen's Photo Gallery:


Suspended in Dusk

"Damn me Father, for I must sin..."
Four centuries of this damned immortality
Yet, I did not ask to be made. Why?
I will never again feel your sun upon my face
Or the comfort of a grave
I am not alive and I am not dead
This is Hell on earth
How can I possibly explain this eternal youth?
When I can do nothing, but sit by
As my loves grow old and wither
And with each of them, take a fragment of my heart
And prolong this endless winder
It is October's perpetual agony
It is the shadow realm
Father, please forgive him
For he knows not what to do
With every victim I pray for my own death
And as much as I love the night
I curse the moon's eerie glow
Tis bloodlust that drags me to forever
The toxic rays of dawn that condemn me to limbo
I am forced to dwell in grey Autumnal twilight
I am suspended in dusk
Father, please forgive him
For he knows not what to do
Father, please forgive him
For he knows not what to do

Love this vampire themed song ... Sorry, couldn't find it live !
 Live ... Pittsburgh ... Everything Dies


With No Warnings You Were Gone

This painting is available on Deviant Art
Please check it out and contact LuciferV with any questions

http://browse.deviantart.com/?q=Peter Steele&order=9&offset=48#/d3bw6fr



(TY A)

Aptly Titled "Blood & Fire"

I always thought we'd be together
And that our love could not be better
Well, with no warning you were gone
I still don't know what went wrong
You don't know what I've been through
Just want to put my love in you

No more nights of blood and fire
All those special memories
Now I bleed for you, burn for me
Perhaps I was just dreaming
When I think these things had real meaning
You don't know what I've been through
Just want to put my love in you

Love eternal
Lust infernal
Bleeding, burning
Needing, yearning


Oh, and for our global friends (or those that never drank), here is a video that sort of explains what "quarters" is. Though, imagine that the shot glass has tequila or vodka in it. Your friends sit around the table. The person who gets the quarter into the glass picks the friend who has to shoot the drink with the quarter in it and the drinker has to catch the quarter between his/her teeth. The drinker shows the quarter to the group and then that person tries to get the quarter into the glass. Yes, sounds stupid, but this is what we used to do in the 80s. Think: beer pong with shot glasses.


Military Hat & Boa

I'm not sure that it's possible to play a game of quarters while listening to Metal Insider's #5 pick, but, hey, everyone has a different heave reflex.

Saw this pic somewhere and had to share.
When we retrieved Peter's belongings, he had a huge box
filled with military hats that he loved to wear. He even
 had the Russian Officer's hat I gave him many years ago.
My niece Tristan has that now. All the
hats were given to the kids in the family.
So, Sammi, Victoria, Antonio,
Danny and Siobhan have those items.

Metal Insider’s Top 5: Metal Drinking Songs

Posted by Metal Insider on Tue, Oct 11, 2011

Metal Insider’s Top 5 is a column where we count down the top five of…well basically anything.
Drinking and metal have gone hand in hand since before Steppenwolf coined the term “heavy metal” in “Born to be Wild.” There’s nothing like putting on something heavy and downing some adult beverages of your choice while doing so. And while there’s plenty of music to drink to, we wanted a list of songs specifically about drinking (or in the case of Carnivore,  what happens after it). We also wanted the help of our readers, offering one person a signed Unearth beer bong as a prize for submitting the #1 metal drinking song. So grab your drink of choice and join us in this toast to songs about getting toasted.

5. Carnivore’s “Jack Daniels And Pizza”
Peter Steele had a wry sense of humor since well before he was in Type O Negative. You can tell from the title that the combination of Jack and pizza won’t go so well, and this is a cautionary tale caught on tape.

4. Clutch’s “Drink To The Dead”
3. Pantera’s “Goddamn Electric”
2. Tankard “For A Thousand Beers”
1. Psychostick’s “BEER!”



A Little Light Shinin' In The Window ...

I know that when most of you hear the "Set Me On Fire" lyrics you think of a lovely romantic Summertime fling, but I actually think of a person who we got to know. Based on the timing of the song's release and connection to Summer Breeze, it was probably not created with that person in mind. It may not be written about her, but still ... I'm reminded of the time she and Peter spent together and the advice she gave me one evening a long time ago  ... Thanks Summer Girl ... You know what you told me about being myself ... and I've never forgotten the advice ...

I must confess, I have no idea what Peter is supposed to be in this outfit.
(Michelle, Peter, Me, Nancy)

See the curtains hangin in the window

Evening on a friday night

A little light  shinin in the window

Lets me know everything's all right

Summer breeze makes me feel fine

Blowin through the jasmine in my mind
(TY Seals & Crofts)

LIVE ... At L'Amour in Brooklyn:


As Sparks Rain Down


Hello everyone! 
I wanted to say I love love love the blog - its such a nice way to remember Pete!
I also wanted to tell you guys about my TON stories.  I was introduced to them around 1997 - I was 16 and a good friend of mine was very into TON.  He bought me copies of Bloody Kisses and October Rust and I absolutely fell head over heels for the music!  My boyfriend at the time (my husband now) wasn't too into them, and my mother was extremely creeped out with Pete's voice.  However I continued to listen.
Since then, they've been one of the few bands that have stuck with me the past 14 years - we even played My Girlfriend's Girlfriend for fun at our wedding. :-)  I've seen TON in concert 13 times, mostly in Pittsburgh when I was attending college, but also when I was home in NJ we would go into Philly every time TON would play.
My husband and I had the pleasure of meeting Pete a couple of times, but this one time totally cracks me up.  We were waiting outside to say hello, get a pic and so on.  Finally it was our turn and I got to take a pic with Pete, he was so nice - of course I wanted a pic of Pete and my future husband so they graciously posed together as well.  Pete made some cracks how he didn't mind taking a pic with him because he finally didn't have to look down on someone (my husband is 6'6") and I have a pic of him choking my husband!  hahaha.  He then leaned in and whispered "now watch this" and fell to the ground in a faint!!  Of course, we knew it was a joke, but everyone around us freaked out!  My husband along with 5 others carried a completely limp Pete onto the tour bus (imagine that!!).  As soon as we were on the bus, he winked, laughed, and got up!  Be it a Halloween joke or a way to get away from the crowd, I'm not sure, but he then thanked us and we were on our way!  It was too funny!
The last time I saw TON was a tour in May of 2008 with SOiL.  We are friends with one of the guys from SOiL, so after their set, we stayed and watch TON for about half of the show and then met him to hang out.  I had no idea it would be my last TON show, and it saddens me everytime I think about it that I didn't stay til the end of their set.  However this is life and I have had the great pleasure of seeing them 13 times (many a Halloween show too!).  I have to say Pete's music, lyrics, and antics are something I won't soon forget, and I thank you for sharing a more personal side as well.  I read the blog almost everyday.
Thank you again so much, I hope my story has brought a smile,
Note: I have to apologize for the slow down of the blog posts. Life is interfering with my love of this blog. Till the end of October, I'm scaling the posting back to 4 times a week. Thank you for your continued love and support of us and the blog. You are all an amazing group of people.
Have a Great Weekend.


We Make Really Bad Music

I hum this song every time I fight with someone

Too Late: Frozen

So you've come to say your're very sorry
Won't happen again forgive me
Time will not heal away these wounds
And I'm bleeding, bleeding because of you

It's too late, it's too late, it's too late
(Too late for apologies)

Once everything we had just a joke?
I've run out of patience, tears and hope
Love does not conquer all
And I'm screaming, screaming because of you

In the shadow of the light from a black sun
And frigid statue standing icy blue and numb
Where are the frost giants I've begged for protection?
I'm freezing

Cold winter winds that chill my heart with sleet and with snow
Not from the north come to this glacial abode
But from your dimension cryogenic limbo
I'm freezing

Frozen, Frozen, Frozen
I'm freezing

Since I don't understand the language of the interviewer, AND there are no English subtitles I can only expect that Pete and Kenny are answering the right answers to the right questions. THOUGH, from Peter's initial smile, I'm not too sure:


Danish Radio Interview with Peter May 15, 1997: