Love You To Death

Nice Lettering on this Tat from Robert
 in Louisiana. Thanks for sharing


A Big THANK YOU to Manuela (aka Dark Angel) (aka X-DA-X)  for sharing this very personal story ... From The Netherlands :

Although I saw TON in concert 5 times I never got to meet Pete.
Nevertheless he's been a big part of my life for the past 18 years.
So here's my story, I hope you don't mind me sending it to you, I needed to write it down...

The year was 1993, I was 16 and I was hanging out with some friends at a local poolhall.
One of my friends walked in, handed me a cd and said "here, this is new and I think you'll like it!"
It was a black and green cover with 2 girls....
When I came home later that afternoon I ran upstairs to my room and put my cd-player on loud.
I listened to the album while reading the booklet. And I listened to it again, and again....

This was something I had never heard before..... 
The music went from left to right, up and down and all the way around, amazing!
And that voice!! OMG!!! That voice would make any 16 yo girl melt....

The very next day I went to our local musicshop and bought anything I could find from TON.
Since that day TON has been and will always be my favorite band.
A love was born, never to die....

I have had my fair share of ups and downs in my life and music has always been there for support, to let steam off, to dream, to escape, everything.
I listen to a lot of bands and all kinds of music, here's a very short list of my favorite albums:
Type O Negative - Bloody Kisses / everything
Life Of Agony - River Runs Red
Alice In Chains - Dirt
Sisters Of Mercy - Floodland
Black Sabbath - Black Sabbath   (TON covers are MUCH better though!!)
Pink Floyd - The Wall

My first reaction is always to grab a TON cd. It always fits perfectly, no matter what mood i'm in.
TON was there when i fell in love, when i was in a fight, when i was happy, or drunk, or stoned, or dreaming, or when i was depressed.
TON was there for me when my relationship ended after 4 years and i moved back home.
When I was 21 my father celebrated his birthday 2 days early. Normally we would never celebrate a birthday to early because we didn't wanna jinx it. However that year we did because in the following 3 weeks my parents had other obligations. His birthday was on a monday so we had a big party on saturday. And ofcourse we would joke around a bit, 'if anything happens tomorrow we at least had this party!' Little did we know then..
My boyfriend at the time and I came home around 4 o'clock in the morning. Only 4,5 hours later we were rudely awakened by this incredible annoying noise of the doorbell ringing constantly. It was my sister's boyfriend, we had to come with him because something happened to my father....
Only 15 minutes later we arrived at my parents house but by then my father was already dead of hart failure.
(you can imagine that I will never ever celebrate a birthday too soon again.)

I saw TON live 5 times in Holland and Belgium, sadly I never actually got to meet them.
I came very close 2 times but I missed my chance (which i still kick my own ass for!)
I even gave a heads up to whatever boyfriend I had at the time, if I get the opportunity then I will forget about everything and anyone else!
My current boyfriend, we have a serious relationship since 2003, was really scared the 2 times I went to festivals where TON was playing haha.
I love my man to death, he means everything to me but Pete has always been the prime example of 'The perfect man'!

Last year was a very bad year. On the 15th of february my best friend got the news that they're stopping her treatment for cancer, she died january 10th of this year. On the 26th of march my boyfriend lost his job because his company went belly up. On the 2nd of april 2 good friends lost their daughter, only 20 minutes after she was born. On the 12th of april my uncle died of cancer. And then came the news that Peter died..... I cried the rest of the day. For the next 3 months I listened to TON only. Even though I never met him, it still hurts... because he meant so much to me for 18 years. This year up until now has been mostly about reflecting and remembering, reading For the love of Pete Steele and thinking about friends and family, the ones that are gone but also the ones that are still here. There also was one good thing in 2010. My sister gave birth to her first daughter and my goddaughter. She's only 10 months old but I spoil her rotten hahaha.

For the past 18 years I have listened to TON on a weekly basis, sometimes a little less, sometimes a lot more.I don't think they will ever descent from the number 1 position on my list, I still love it as much as I did in 1993....

So thank you Peter for being a part of most of my life, rest in peace green man.
I will always love you to death and now it's halloween in heaven..... (I could go on and on with wordplay but I won't ;-p)
See you on the other side!

Thank you Ratajczyk family for sharing, please don't stop!

Check out video for Profit of Doom on:


  1. Thank you Manuela for sharing you´re story. It seems to me that both You and I have told our boyfriends the exakt same thing. *LOL*

  2. Great tattoo Robert. Thanks for sharing your story Manuela. Its weird how things work out and we do something not knowing what is going to happen (your Dad). I remember the blog when Pat(I think it was Pat) after their sisters funeral was determined she had to find Peter to hug him not knowing that was going to be her last hug. For you and I think for a lot of us our favorite bands and music has saved us from life's nasty little surprises many times. Once Peter is in your heart..he is there to stay! Yes our boyfriends/husbands have had to learn to except Peter as a constant in our lives...I have photos and paintings of Peter in every room not to mention all the other Peter related things that I do. As for favorite TON album..impossible to choose between World Coming Down and Dead Again. Enjoy your niece give her all the love you can. Dont forget to introduce her to Peters music asap! You can help to create a new generation of Peter Steele fans.

  3. They say you can open the Bible and find the answers to whatever your heart and soul needs at that moment.

    Peter's lyrics and music are like that too ... play any song and you will find some words, or some emotive riff or chord to help you through whatever you are experiencing right then.

    I only wonder at what else Peter had to say.

  4. Love the ink Robert!

    Manuela thanks so much for sharing your story. I too first heard & fell in love with TON in 1993. They will forever be my favorite band. Each album has different memories of a different time in my life. And when I listen, its like I'm listening for the first time.. it never gets old.

    I too lost a family member (my uncle) to bone cancer on January 10th (1999).. we have some things in common. Bug hugs to you! xoxo

  5. Thank you for sharing your lovely/emotional story.

  6. I don't "do" facebook, so here's a poem I wrote for Peter:

    Screaming at the saints
    Shouting down the angels
    Pause for a reply...
    Drowning in the answering silence
    Digging up the demons to ask them to the prom
    With self-defecating humor
    Bouncing threats against heaven
    For a reaction that never comes,
    Unlike the slithering mass of psycophants
    Waiting to be proven wrong
    Pouring anger on a bloody steak
    Chasing red wine with sorrow
    To preclude disappointment
    He deflowers hope
    He becomes the blacklight
    To expose the dirty truth
    Dark knight inured in jointed sarcasm
    Flays his fear to stun it
    Names it, mocks it, to numb it
    Rebels against the inevitable end
    Of all things
    Taunts the reaper to get a peek behind the veil
    Mocks the ferryman to find out where he goes
    They came for him - and now we weep and wonder
    But, finally, he knows.

  7. Rose from NY now in CA3:10 PM, August 20, 2011

    The perfect man...yes that describes Peter STeele to a tee....he was the perfect man. Note: It's still so hard to say "was" when I want to say "Is" when I speak of Peter Steele. To me he still "is" so much because I still listen to TON daily. I my the Peter STeele Memorial T shirt often, I speak of him, I read these messages daily or every other day. I love to hear about Peter as a person from family memories. I've spoken to Cathy, Hi Cathy. You all have my deepest respect and love. You are all going thru this together, these feelings, I know it's hard and it's painful. You are helping each other and the fans by sharing these memories. Some people come in your life for a moment, a day, a week, month, years or forever. Peter's time on this earth was too brief but look at all he left for us to enjoy. Those who are here for a brief time teach us the greatest lessons. He taught us Love. We love you Peter. He gave us 1000% of himself. That is a generous man. He was and still is a man who I admire. Emotional stories, sometimes they make me cry. KNow my tears are shed for Peter's family, friends and bandmates, Josh, Johnny and Kenny. And for the fans, we hurt too. God we miss you, we really miss you Peter. We Loved you to Death. Thank you for sharing. Much respect and love.

  8. Rose from NY now in CA7:39 PM, August 20, 2011

    Lord have mercy Profit of Doom Video..Peter was a freaking genius! PERIOD! This journey we are on knowing more and more about him this man who gave so much of himself to his craft.... his journey....I miss him more and more each time I read stories and see these videos. He will never die to me and to all who read and share their emotional messages to his family. We know he was valued, he had value. He contributed to each and every life he touched. He changed me, HE CHANGED US...eternally. Petrus we miss you, I can't say that enough. I wear your Memorial T Shirt with pride, sadness, but pride. I will listen to your music for my entire lifetime. Thank you Petrus. I'm in tears again.

  9. Whenever I need comfort, I play October Rust. It's my "go to" album and I can never get enough of it. Pete's voice saw me through some of my difficult, wangsty young adult years.

  10. Marcheline ... I hope you do not mind my saving a copy of your insightful poem about Pete. Thank you. ... Pat (sister)

  11. Manuela aka X-DA-X3:14 AM, August 22, 2011

    Thank you all for your comments on my post, it really means a lot!

    To Alexandra: LOL hahahaha
    To Gayle: I've already started to make my niece a little 'headbanger' with clothes and dolls. And in her birthbook to the question 'what will you do with me when i grow up?' i wrote; I will take you to metal concerts and festivals and introduce you to good music. TON will be one of the first bands i'll be playing for her when she's a little bit older!

    Peter and his band will forever be a part in all of our lives and hearts....

  12. What a great tattoo, Robert - very beautiful work.
    @Manuela: thank you for sharing your story & finding such touching words. I like your list of top 5 albums - can relate to all of them. Yes - please have some influence on upcoming TypeONegative fans ;-) & have a great time with your niece.
    @Marcheline: thank you for sharing your poem - I love it and it left me breathless.
    Wow - there are so many creative people around - I admire this so much. & Peter - how he touched all our lifes in different but sometimes so similiar ways - it's incredible. I am so grateful for having discovered this music that has helped me so often in my life already & it will be always a part of my life - this is something so special. Thank you Pete for what you give us & thank you Ratajczyk family for opening up and sharing all these beautiful memories with us & thank you for giving us a place where we can get together. I hope that it is for you also enriching & helpful as it is for us. Take care.
    Much love & respect

  13. "And that voice!! OMG!!! That voice would make any 16 yo girl melt...."

    YEAH, but scuse me for a correction, because I say:

    "That voice would make any girl or woman on ANY YEARS OLD melt....And yet carry on making it aways!"

    Green Man... Always in the corner of my mind

    To much and 4ever! <3
    By Nanda...From Brazil


  14. "I have had my fair share of ups and downs in my life and music has always been there for support, to let steam off, to dream, to escape, everything."

    Me either! Music set me alive!Unhappyly I was almost baby on 90's... I follow this rock music way only since 2000...
    But happyly on that years people yet was remember much more musics of years before... And don't forgotten singers and bands really special... And thanks it I yet can know about TON with that voice of Peter, that catch-me since the first time!
    I listen early musics of TON... I carry on listen until now! (I'm listen October Rust on this moment...My favorite of TON! <3)

    ...My hair now is red, for some reasons... BUT until last year and all time since when listen TON for first time (on 2001) my hair aways was BLACK NUMBER ONE!!! lol Guess Why....? <3 lol Perhaps it is a fool thing, but aways went take with me something that remember TON... I aways write inspired by this special songs!...There are much more to say, but my bad english turns it hard...

    So I only want say: Peter is aways in the corner of my mind <3, and I REALY think never forgotten this special music aways remember Who was make it to all life...For 8 years the Green Man lives on your legacy, and keep alive aways to everyone listen and love this special legacy! TON 4EVER! Is not the end!

    By Nanda...from Brazil