I Am The Gentle Autumn Rain

This is version of Mary Frye's poem, which I believe is untitled. It is fitting of this anniversary that our family shares with music lovers around the world. It usually helps me get through the loss ...

(Thank you Isa for finding this artwork!)

Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there; I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow,
I am the sun on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there; I did not die.


Whatever you are doing today to remember
Peter Steele Ratajczyk,

whether it's a meeting at Prospect Park
in front of a tree planted in his honor


celebrating mass at Visitation Church in Red Hook


playing music really loud in your car in Germany


sending good thoughts into the universe in California

Our Family Thanks You For Loving

Peter Steele

For Who He Was:









Monster in the Basement



Partner in Crime



Missing You For 2 Years Now


Please connect with our friends from this Facebook page:



  1. Not only the Titanic sank on April 14.
    Thousands remember today, and not just today, Peter Ratajczyk!
    A real great man!
    My heart goes out to his family and his friends!

  2. My dearest Peter,
    You will never truly know how special you really were in this life and how many people unconditionally love you. May you look upon your family and friends and heal their wounds with your presence. Loving you today and always.

  3. noah and i will be doing balloons today. 3 green 3 black and a red one for noah to let go. noahs balloon will be a special balloon as i am going to draw a heart on it and put i love you in remembrance to MIA ROZE STEELE VASQUYA. she lost her life the other day and mom delivered her yesterday.

    thank you to the entire RATAJCZYK family for all of the memories you have shared over the last 2 years. Your love and memories have touched so many of us. i can not even believe its been that long already.

    my heart also goes out to the fans. we have made ourselves quite the lil negative family and its all for pete. the love of his music, his jokes, his silly faces, his genius, his love for nature and animals...his existence. *heavy sigh* its going to be a tough day for all of us but we have to be there to support the Family of the Ratajczyk's and for one another.

    Eternally K.I.N.
    Rest In Peace Pete. We love you so very very much.

  4. Really beautiful poem. Today I burned my green candle, listened to Carnivore, watched After Dark, Symphony for the Devil, Living the American Nightmare, went for a walk in our park and got my memorial tattoo. (How the hell did I fit all that in!)It makes me so happy to know so many people from all over the world have done similar things as I have to remember Peter. Peter Steele fans are the best! To the Ratajczyk family, today must be filled with so many mixed emotions but I hope you all go to bed with a smile on your face and love in your heart. I cant say Thank You enough for everything you have shared with us, so all I can give you back is love and letting you know we will keep Peters memory alive forever.

  5. Wonderful Post....

    R.I.P..Peter...You are deeply missed <3

  6. "Our dead are never dead to us, until we have forgotten them."
    Peter, fans in Serbia miss you dearly.

  7. Beautiful post, not everyone 'got' Peter but for those of us who did he made our lives that much better! Rest easy Peter, your music means the WORLD to me!!! (-)

  8. Marched to the beat of his own drummer. Literally and figuratively. :) RIP

  9. thank everyone for all the tributes and love that you've shown for peter. it is touching to me; and makes me feel not so alone in my grief as a fan. the family is amazing; peter was so fortunate to have such a loving supportive family. wherever he is now; i know he is smiling at us, and laughing at all the fuss we're making over him.

  10. Love this. Honorable sentiments, heartbreaking pain, go out and live this day. xx

  11. We love you Peter, this day and forever! (-) xoxo

    "Nature is ever at work building and pulling down, creating and destroying, keeping everything whirling and flowing, allowing no rest but in rhythmical motion, chasing everything in endless song out of one beautiful form into another." John Muir

  12. Very touching post, this poem is very beautiful as well as all the comments. It is a truly moving day - I burned my green candle - I listened TON music throughout the day & really loud in my car, sang & screamed along & felt connected with all of you & now I have a glass of fine red wine. Dear family Ratajczyk - my thoughts are with you & my heart goes out to you - thank you for sharing so much with us. Peter - your music is essential to me - truly missed.
    -Much love & respect to all of you-
    Mike - have the same image in mind of Peter laughing at us but isn't laughing also one of the best emotions ....

  13. great poem !!! missing Peter everyday !! saying its not fair god took him away ~except he really mustve wanted Peter to sing to him to take him away from us Soooo not fair !!! love his family !!! mssing him everyday !!! <3

  14. That poem is the one I chose for my father's funeral card in 1995. I had hoped to chose the same for Pete's funeral, but it was no longer available for publication that way.
    Thank you Darc for creating this year's anniversary tribute on the blog, and thanks to all the loving fans, still grieving and in pain, for your thoughtful comments. Sincerely ... sister Pat.

  15. What a great poem and the artwork is awsome. I guess i fell into the blasting type o music all day category,down on cape cod, mass. Love the music, love the man.

  16. cinnamongirl13139:44 PM, April 15, 2012

    i have so much love for the Ratajczyk family, TON and their army. Peter united us and now we help each other through our grief. He made me feel like I was not so alone and now that is what you all do for me in his stead. I am blessed to see him in my dreams now and then. I don't know why he chooses to check in on me but it warms me to my core when he does. This blog has been an incredible place of sharing. Thank you to everyone who has come together here. Peter, I love and miss you always.

    Oh, and not that it was different than any other given day, but I laughed and cried my way through a bunch of videos, posted a few and blared his voice loud. Wish I could have gone to Duff's and Prospect Park...maybe someday.

  17. .. and again I forgot to add – as if my entries weren’t long enough already :-) I love the picture you chose for this blog post – thank you Isa for finding and providing it.

  18. Sending my greatest affection to the Ratajczyk/Rowan family for the courage, kindness , warmth and compassion you've shown us, his fans, and your willingness to share your experiences both from the past with Peter and in the present. Bringing us all together somehow, knowing we'll heal together is creative and remarkable of you.

    Thank you.

  19. Thank you for the wonderful poem and post! Peace and love to you all. BABS

  20. ‘Everything comes from love’ St. Catherine of Siena.

    Peter loved us... We love you Peter! See you in Heaven!

    Aga Agnes from Poland - "Im Polack too" As you said once..

  21. Rose from NY now in CA10:52 PM, May 01, 2012

    I too have this poem next to a picture of my son's best friend David's photo who passed away almost 5 yrs ago. It's a picture of Davids guitar and his favorite hat. I read it daily. I too think of David on 7/14 when he left us and I think of Peter not only on 4/14 but every day. The beloved Peter Steele and all the dearly departed who left us way too soon. I light a candle each morning in their honor. You are missed beyond the stars. Your music keeps us thinking of you, your smile your magnificence. You and your family will be in our prayers each day. We love you all so much, you helped all the fans by sharing your beautiful stories with us, it meant so much. When David left us we cried for so long we still do sometimes. Crying helps and when you do, show someone you love them. Hug someone and let them know they mean everything to you. Don't let the passing of someone wonderful go without passing along the love they had for you and you had for them. That love will never die. Love carries on. Peter we love you, we see you in heaven now peaceful at peace. Miss you more than you can know. We are sad and we are changed, you changed us. You made us better people. thank you so much for that. David you also made us better people, we miss you both. Peace to you all who are reading these messages. Pass it along.

  22. Rose from NY now in CA11:01 PM, May 01, 2012

    one more thought..I have 2 frames in my room filled with collage of Peter's image. I see it each night before I go to sleep...I also see David's image as well (my son's best friend who passed away 7/14/07). I had a birthday 4/20 and along with remembering me on that day, I thought of Peter as well. April has signficance to me not only my birth but the passing of a great man. Peter Steele you made your mark. Wow did you ever! I too listened to the music and envisioned him up there in heaven smiling down on all of us. Yes you meant the world to so many, yes we appreciated you and yes we will honor and pray for your family now. An exended family now, never to be forgotten. We love you Ratajczyk family. Peace be with you all.

  23. Dear Ratajczyk Family,
    Thank you for the great blog and sharing your memories of this remarkabe man. I became a fan after coming across the video for Black #1. I saw an interview with him and was so impressed by how articulate and wity he was. He also had such a great sense of humor. I am sorry for your loss and hope you find comfort in the wonderful memories you share. He left too soon but the brightest star always burns out the fastest.
    Jenn S.

  24. My name is Matthew. Peter and I both have names of a disciple of Christ. Peter, wherever you've gone fission, know that I'm will be trying to find you on the other side. Or is it your side? WHich side? Left, right. You never really had a side, did you? Just your side.
    To the Ratajczyk family, thanks for sharing more of Peter with me. I am sorry for the suddenly terrible loss. I don't care if it's a few years, ten years, there is no way that I can explain how heavy Peter's death is.

  25. Rose from NY now in CA5:55 PM, July 13, 2012

    I know this site is down now there will be no more posts from family like before. Only now and then. But if you are looking at this message anyone, I have to say I just listened again for probably the 100th time the CD "Dead Again". A masterpiece of music. The times when Peter screams and music swells....I have it up loud and I'm in the church of Type O Negative. It's like a religion, that music is so powerful. Each song blends into the next, every word like gold. They were on top of their game on that one. Every one for that matter. What a huge sadness comes over me when I realize there will be no more...I'm tearing up now. Peter and rest of band...Johnny, Kenny and Josh. You made music from the Gods never to be forgotten. Wow,you guys did it! Be proud and remember your lead man did not want to leave, not really. From what I know it was a tragedy that could have been prevented but we must not dwell. Only remember and appreciate what he left us, a big part of him, all of him. You were everything, you were bigger that life. You left your mark Peter. Now I'll go back to the music up loud, only way to listen to it.
    Tomorrow marks my son's best friends passing, he passed away on 7/14/07. 5 years, hard to believe. Miss you David so much. Beyond the stars there is a heaven, I see all the dearly departed peaceful, no pain. David, I hope you get to meet Peter Steele in heaven. You too were a guitar player and a great guy. YOu are never going to be forgotten. WE love you. Peace to all, pass along the love.

  26. Rose from NY now in CA12:12 AM, July 17, 2012

    Yesterday I met with family of my son's best friend David who passed away 7/14/2007. We met at his grave, it was emotional, it always is. LIke Peter's family, I know this has been the hardest 2 years of your entire lives. I know the feeling, someone wonderful left us. When we see pictures and we share memories of our dear David (like Peter's family) we laugh, we cry. We get angry too. Why did this happen to him? What could we have done? What is God's plan. Well, both deaths are tragic and nowhere in this Universe is there a plan for something like this. Unfortunately, bad things happen to great people. We want the outcome to change, we want to bring them back for more time.....we miss them beyond words. I understand how Peter's family feels. I wish I didn't I wish we were talking about the successful next CD from Type O Negative....or the beautiful thoughtfulness of David he was an amazing human being. He died too young, 23. Peter 48..too young. I miss David every day that will never change. Peter we miss you every day. Remembering your greatness, believing that both of these sweet guys are at peace and hearing our prayers. Peace to all who read these message...yeah we can't let go Ratajczyk family. WE love you all.

  27. Isn't it funny how you can feel so close to someone you never met? Like family? Like you can't remember what life was like before you came across that person? The thing is that the lyrics that Peter wrote, well, they were so full of emotion and so from the heart. Things when, if said aloud by most of us, would be ridiculed. Things that we all think and feel but are afraid to share with others out of fear of judgement. But when someone is brave enough to not only speak, but sing those very painful words to describe our own hidden emotions to a T? I just think it makes us all feel validated and no longer alone. Which is a basic building block of support groups. So that we are not alone in our feelings. His music created that kind of unwavering support that allowed us all to feel and for it to be ok to feel

  28. Hello,
    I love this blog and all the stories you've shared here with us. I'm starting to worry that you may have decided to finish writing here... Please, give us a sign you're still here! :)

    Thanks for everything,
    a fan from Poland

  29. Rose from NY now in CA11:55 PM, October 11, 2012

    I hope this message gets posted....I know it's been forever and maybe noone is keeping track now. My last thought and then I'm done. In the Buddist religion, when someone dies their soul rises up and depending on their on this earth behavior...if they were magnificent like Peter then they come back as an honorable person or a beautiful butterfly, stuff like that. If they were not so great on this earth, their soul comes back in another lower being...maybe a cochroach.
    So when you're on this earth, make your mark people. Like Peter did, he showed so much love and kindness to others, he truly is a blessed soul who comes back in a honorable form. Thank you Peter for that short but valuable time we had with you. What a man!! WE can all take a lesson. I'm not talking about any of the negative, only the positive here. Remember him for the good man he was, the amazing soul. Love to your family, we all feel it with you. Peace and Love.

  30. There is a girl in maine named Jody claiming to be Peters daughter..same last name as all u guys.

  31. Hello ratajczyk family hope all is good and your all coping well.
    Big Petrus fan I am hoping to get over from Liverpool England home of the Beatles to do a little documentary about peter and Brooklyn I love the place and America in general hope you see this and hope I can meet some people who knew peter and tell me some amazing things his life should be celebrated cheers Dave gardener Davidgardner04s2@hotmail.com
    Hope to here from you.

  32. Love you Ratajczyk Family, thank you so much for the blog.
    I'm sure I'm not the only one to ask you to come back here some day...Since he's gone many new fans have loved his music, it's a true mark of his genius.
    Peter Ratajczyk, you're in our prayers, we are just passengers here, in this world....

  33. Peter is very much missed...His talent, music, humor, love for animals and nature were all a part of him even the demons he dealt with. I never had the honor to meet him, but I could relate to his depression and his music ( still does) brought me comfort. I can relate to it. He was taken way before his time. Such an amazing complex person with gorgeous green eyes...my fav. color. Y'all were blessed to have him as he was blessed to have you, his loving family. He is so missed by this adoring fan.

  34. Rose from NY now in CA7:23 PM, September 07, 2013

    Dear Ratajczyk family...I know Peter played on an episode of Oz years ago. I've tried to find the clip but can't find it. Where can I find that scene or scenes? I used to love that series OZ and when I found out Peter played a part, I wanted to find it. Any chance to see that huge talented man, I gotta see it. I just watched a video of Pam and Cathy with his bass guitar and video of signing of first TON contracts where Peter signed with his own blood. Wow, very intense. No surprise. Gotta love that. He was a master of doing it his way. I loved that about him. Man up...that is a term I use to my own son at times. It means being a man when the opportunity comes to do so. That was Peter a man's man, an honest straight forward man. He didn't apologize, he told it like it was. He lived but let me say this. When I saw the trailor for that movie he did Living the American Nightmare (which I have yet to see and are not able to find as well) my heart broke for him. He was sorry for letting down the fans. Peter you may have lived life your way and left us too soon and felt it was your fault...don't do that to yourself. We all do stuff we want to take back, guess what? We can't do that. We wanted life to continue for you Peter, we wanted you here for a long long time. We miss you, God how we miss you.
    We love you we wish we could change, go back and change what happened to you to cause your death. But we can't, we can only remember you for the great talent, the sweet spirit you were. Never to be forgotten. So now let me close with this.
    Death cannot be explained, only felt. We feel you, we felt it still do. Tears come to our eyes often then we turn on that music REALLY LOUD and we bang our heads and remember you with love. Peace to your family..please can anyone help me find OZ clip or the Living American Nightmare movie? Thanks

  35. I felt such a belonging when I heard Type O Negative for the first time @ age 15 or so. It was if my soul had found a very large piece of itself and I am forever grateful for having heard Peter's voice and music, quotes and jokes. I would have loved to have met him. The closest I got was 100feet away. They played in Raleigh NC <3. Pete was more to me than just a hot singer, he was in a sense , a soulmate. I didn't feel alone anymore after hearing Type O Negative and it was such a blessing to have shared a planet with such a genuine soul. I have and always will love Peter Steele, even though I never met him :(. Type O Negative ( Pete's lyrics) helped me through some of the darkest times in my life... Still does to this day!!! Pete is forever missed and I hope to see him in heaven <3. God all of his family and friends.

  36. April 14 Feast Day of St.Justin Martyr (1945 Missal)
    "May this sacrifice,O Lord,which we offer commemorating the birthday of Thy Martyrs,BOTH LOOSE US FROM THE BONDS OF OUR BASE DESIRES and gain for us the gifts of the mercy.
    Through our Lord Jesus Christ -Amen
    (Secret prayer April 14)