Those Feelings From When I Was a Teen

This memory comes from one of our readers who wishes not to be named. Enjoy:

It was early May 2000, I had just finished high school & was in the throws of heartache and loss. I decided to spend my savings on a plane ticket to Europe. I had to leave my hometown, unable to withstand being close to all my accumulated memories and the lingering pain of a lost love. I contacted a good friend with the news, he put me up in his little room & we were destitute. We saved everything we made, trading things for food, then caught a set of wings to Paris in June of that year. Having so much that I wanted to see I left my friend to seek out ancient places, stir real or imagined past lives and kill the pain. By mid July I had parted with some kids I'd met in Venice, having slept in San Marcos square by day, and running the labyrinth of canals and bridges by night. The train departed early, still drunk on loss and wine I slept, waking briefly to scenes of foggy towns on the Czech border. I awoke amidst glorious mountains, the sun articulating every vista and tree. We stopped briefly at an abandoned train stop, wooden & splintered by time, a single sign there read, Frankenstein as my path ascended hillside then mountain. The beauty of the forest set me to plug in my portable speakers. October Rust, the smell of cedar and clean air rushing into the cabin windows. As the sun began to set silhouettes of ancient forests, steeples and mountains slowly crawled by as the sky became red. As though plunging into icy water I was awake and braced by the unimaginable beauty of the music and scenes rolling by with each passing moment. Taking in the vastness of time my thoughts drifted back, guided by Pete's voice and the soaring wall of sound into cathartic feelings of hope and mystery. 

I ended up in Chemnitz, formerly Karlmarxstadt met a girl who took me into her flat on the rainy night I planned to sleep in the station. With her boyfriend and we listened to Type O till sunrise, recalling sweet memories, crossing borders from that little room into the great dark forest from which I had come.

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TY Jonny for your contribution:

 

Hi, my name is Jonny.  I'm from Los Angeles and have been quite a fan of Pete and Type O since 1993, and like every subscriber to your blog, Pete's music touches a part of me that no other music has ever.  Back when I was 16 years old in 1993, I was a long haired rocker and played bass in a local Thrash Metal band in Hollywood.  We would play various clubs on the Sunset Strip and then they would make us leave immediately after because we were under age.  Once in a while we would sneak back in to watch the other bands play their sets.  One evening I was at a show and a girl came up to me and said, "You know you look like Peter Steele."  (I'm Polish/Russian/Italian and am 6'5" tall).  I asked her who this guy was and she told me about Type O Negaive, so I was curious.  The next morning I went to Wherehouse Music and bought Bloody Kisses.  When I got home and put it on, the music instantly touched me and I listened to the album over and over and over, every time giving me goose bumps.  I related perfectly to the deep and dark sensuality of the music and lyrics and I became a fan instantly.  The album became my most prized possession.  I listened to that music alone in my room, with my girlfriends, at the gym, when I was sad, in the car, at school and I even lost my virginity listening to it, ha!  I was a moody bastard, but no matter what mood I was in, I was always in the mood to listen to Type O Negative.  Being a 16 year old kid and not having a great relationship with my father at the time, I think Pete kinda became a role model to me.  I could relate to him as a bass player who was really left handed but learned how to play right, his outlook on the world as well as to his physicality.  I would read every interview about Pete and Type O I could find and even had the Negative symbol tattooed on my calf.  I saw them every time they came into town for the Bloody Kisses and October Rust tours.  At one show I was at, The House Of Blues in Hollywood for the "World Coming Down" tour in 1999, I pushed my way to the front of the stage, right under Pete.  In the middle of a song, after taking a swig of his bottle of wine, he held it out and handed it down to me.  I took a few swigs and then security came and took it away.  Ha, that made my night.  When I would go out to party at one of the local "metal" clubs/bars, people would come up to me throughout the evening and tell me how I look like Peter Steele.  My friends and I would always joke around and tell them I'm his little brother.  We would always get a good laugh.  Between the way Pete's music has touched me and my admiration of him, Type O had quite an influence on my life

About 13 years have gone by since that show in '99 and I've grow quite a bit.  I cut off my hair years ago, have changed my style with the times, been through school, started my own company, lived in different cities around the world, and have been through many relationships etc.  I'm now 34, live in Beverly Hills where I built my business and have a nice life.  I remember the sadness I felt when I read that Pete had passed.  I sat there in front of my computer for hours with a knot in my stomach trying to make sense of it.  Why?  I felt a mix of sadness and anger to think about all the ideas, feelings and music in his brilliant mind, that he never got a chance to express and record.  Having been caught up in the hustle and bustle of life over these years, I've lost touch with most of the music I grew up listening to, including Type O.

About about a month ago, a client of mine said something to me that sparked a memory of my youth which in turn sparked a memory of Type O which tugged a string inside of me.  I went home, put on Type O Negative and sat there in the dark listening for hours.  Everything came back to me, all the memories, all those feelings from when I was a teenager that Pete's music gave to me.  It was wonderful.  There's a side of me that got buried in these last 13 years underneath all the B.S. in life.  Listening to Pete's music again has dug it up.  I feel re-energized and have this new excitement again for life, like I had in my youth.  I can't really put into words how Type O Negative's music makes me feel, but the subscribers of this blog know exactly what I'm talking about.    

I love reading your blog everyday, please keep sharing.  Pete lives on in all of us!

I came across this radio interview with Pete which I got many laughs from.  I don't know if you have ever heard it. 

http://www.wmmr.com/shows/weekends/blogentry.aspx?BlogEntryID=10110871

 

Note: This link has been posted before on the blog, but I thank Jonny for offering it again.