For The Love Of Pete Steele

If You Met Peter Steele, You Forever Had A Connection

2012-01-18T00:09:00.000-05:00

Peter & Me

By Damian Korman

The death of Peter Steele has affected those who knew him and knew his music in many different ways. He was loved on many levels through his music and through the lives he touched. If you ever met the man, you forever had a connection to him. I don’t think any of us will ever fully process the fact he is gone forever because it’s hard to imagine that the Green Man is gone. On my road to accepting his death, Id like to share my story of Peter and my two different relationships with him.

I became a fan of Peter’s music when I was 18 when a supposed ex girlfriend of his gave me an advanced copy of Bloody Kisses on a mix tape. Type O Negative was like no other music I had ever heard before. I was into rock and metal, but this took music to a whole new level for me. Not only was the music amazing, but Peter was a fellow Brooklyn-ite (He lived on East 18th bet Ave K&L and I lived on Ave N bet East 3rd and 4th). All of his “Brooklyn” references in his music and all the sound effects of everyday local “brooklyn” sounds made me feel l had a true connection to his music. When I found out he was in another band before Type O called Carnivore, I decided to learn and own everything I could that Peter created.

From time to time, I’d see Peter around Brooklyn on my many travels. I’d see him driving his Pissed Pete mobile on Ocean Pkwy. I’d see him on King’s Highway. I’d even see him in Roll N Roaster eating with his girlfriend. Every time I saw Peter, I’d say hello to him and he would take the time out to speak to me, even if I was driving along side of him on Ocean Pkwy or walking down the street. He had a way of making you feel like you were the most important person to him in that moment you were interacting with him. The day I knew Peter was a gentleman was the time I went to go see a Carnivore reunion in New Jersey. I was front and center during the show and the mosh pit was going absolutely nuts! I was crushed against the stage and Peter noticed I wasn’t having such an easy time in the pit. He reached down for my hand, hoisted me up on the stage and motioned for me to sit on top of his bass speaker off the left of the stage to watch the show from there. I was sitting above him and the crowd! I had the best seat in the house! Just as the last song finished up and Peter was walking back stage, he motioned for me to come follow him back stage where we hung out with a few of his other friends. I was 19 years old and I was hanging out with my idol! He told us stories about the days he worked for the Parks Dept, how he would chase people around the park with an axe and how his co-workers would call him Tarzan because of his long hair! Funny stories! One of the best nights of my life! That was 1994. I continued to follow his music for years after that.

In 2006, I became friends with Peter Steele. I saw him at an Earl’s Court show (Johnny’s Led Zep Cover Band) and was able to steal a few minutes of his time. He didn't remember me from our interaction 12 years prior but he was still very kind and took interest in our conversation. I told him about a Carnivore fan site I ran on MySpace. He seemed genuinely interested since he just put together a new Carnivore line-up to go tour Europe and he thought it was a good way to promote it. A few months later Peter invited me to go to a Carnivore rehearsal out in the Rockaways where I met Joey Zampella, Paul Bento and Steve Tobin for the first time. They all welcomed me with open arms and treated me like a long lost friend! After sharing with them my love for Peter’s music, the MySpace page, my photography and that I was currently a police officer, Peter instantly hired me to go out on tour as security/photographer/assistant tour manager. I wasn’t just a fan, I was now part of the crew!

Before we left for Germany, I had an idea. Considering Peter, at that point, had not played a live a show in some time and considering this new line up never played together before a live audience, I thought it would be a great idea for them to have a “practice show” to work out the kinks in front of a very small audience. I had a connection with a bar/club owner in Manhattan called Fontana’s. I thought they could play the downstairs room (which held 50 people) and it would be a very low stress, easy way to get back into the groove. I suggested to Peter we shouldn’t bill it as a Carnivore show, but as the Brooklyn Lesbian Choir because it might limit the amout of people who would show up. After some convincing that security would be tight, he spoke it over with his tour manager Glenn Kaufman, and it was a go! The only thing I didn't realize was how many people would catch on that the Brooklyn Lesbian Choir was Peter Steele! The venue quickly became over sold! We couldn't possibly fit everyone down stairs to watch the show, so we hooked up a live video feed upstairs so everyone could watch the show on the big screen. That was pointless because the mosh pit down stairs was so crazy, they knocked out the video feed (for anyone who was up stairs that night and missed the show, I have it recorded and I will share it). For me it was the best Carnivore show ever! Peter wasn’t so much into the banter with the audience that night. He was very focused on the music and making sure he delivered the best show possible, and he did! We had strippers squirting super soaker water guns filled with blood on the audience, people being carried out due to exhaustion from moshing and Peter drenched in fake blood. I was once a huge Carnivore fan, now I am a huge Carnivore fan who was responsible for one of Carnivore’s best shows! One of my best memories of him and Carnivore!

One of the unfortunate realities of Peter was his alcohol and drug addiction. One of my biggest and most important jobs I was tasked with was to keep cocaine away from him at all costs during the Germany shows. I was basically his side kick and he knew why I was with him. He explained to me that he respected me and my profession and that he would never do any illegal drug in front of me or ask me to ever get any for him. I was almost successful in keeping any drugs away from him until 30 min before he was to take the stage in Germany at the Wacken Festival. We were in the dressing room alone and Peter asked me to go make sure everything with the “finale” was set up (strippers with bloody water guns). When I returned to the dressing room, a woman I never met before was standing in the doorway and when I tried to walk in, she wouldn’t allow me. I tried to push my way in and I peeked my head in to see Peter in mid snort. I yelled into the dressing room to Peter that I would like to see him outside the dressing room when he was done. Peter finally came out after 5 min and came up to me like nothing happened. In the most respectful and stern way I knew, I explained to him that I was responsible for his well being and that I care for him like a brother, but if he decided to continue to use coke while we were on that trip, that I couldn’t be part of this and that he was on his own. He apologized profusely and started to explain why he did it. To my knowledge, he didn’t do anymore coke that trip. Oddly enough, that was the moment Peter and I became friends. He saw how much I cared for him as a friend, I saw how much he respected me and the job I had to do.

In the months following the Germany trip, we continued to get closer as friends. He would call me up at random hours for us to get together for dinner at Caravell’s, Sahara’s or Outback. Peter loved to eat and he was very specific to where he wanted to go. Everywhere we went, everyone knew him! The waitress at Sahara’s always knew what he wanted to eat (Chicken Soup, Double Cut Sirloin Steak, French Fries, Roasted Peppers and a bottle of Turkish wine). After dinner, he would take the bones from the steak, hold them in his hand and slide his arms up in his sleeves so the bones took the place of his hands. He would walk around like that making sucking noises and yelling “Piggy!!” and pointing at people with the bones as we left the restaurants. Priceless fun.

Peter one day called me and told me about a limited edition military Harley Davidson Dirt bike he purchased and had serviced. The only problem was that he left it at the bike shop for 2 years and the guy wanted $6000 to release it after only doing $1200 worth of work! Peter wanted me to go to the shop in uniform and arrest the guy. I explained to Peter that I couldn’t do something like that and it was not a criminal matter, it was a civil matter. I had another solution. I had a family “friend” who also owned a bike shop and had a “very persuasive manner” about him. We will call him Joe. Joe was just as big a Peter and he just so happened to know this other bike shop owner. So the three of us took a trip to this guys shop to visit Peter’s bike. After explaining to the shop owner that Peter was out on tour for awhile and was hardly ever home and that’s why it was left there for so long, the guy wouldn’t budge from his price. Joe asked Peter and I to walk outside for a minute. Peter had a shit eating grin on his face because he could only imagine what was going down inside the shop. Three minutes later Joe waves us inside and the shop owner was singing a very different tune! He was more than happy to just take the $1200 dollars for the original price of fixing the bike! The shop owner looked very nervous and couldn’t get us out of the shop quick enough after Peter paid him the money! To this day, we don’t have any idea what happened inside the shop. We can only imagine.

So the next day I pick Peter up at his house to go pick up the bike. Peter comes out of his house wearing a green army jacket, a German war helmet, a scarf wrapped around his neck and over sized mirrored sunglasses. He was ready to ride but Peter had one small dilemma. Peter explained to me that he didn’t have a motorcycle license and that he would need me to follow him in my car so he wouldn’t get pulled over and arrested. I was more than willing to help. So we picked up the bike at the shop on Bath Ave and 18th Ave. As soon as he got on the bike dressed the way he was, he automatically drew the attention of pedestrians and motorists. He looked like the second coming of Benny Hill! I proceeded to follow him in my Jeep Grand Cherokee and no more than 5 minutes into our ride, a woman decided to blow a stop sign on 18th Ave and cut Peter off. Peter decided to dump the bike on the floor and slide on the pavement rather than hit her and get thrown over her car. He hit the ground pretty hard. His helmet went flying off his head and he got road rash on his leg and arm. Thankfully I was right behind him and was able to stop traffic before anyone ran over him! The woman decided to flee the scene. I did get her plate number. So I helped Peter up off the ground and helped him pick his bike up. He turned to me and began to laugh. Peter thought he handled the situation pretty well. He said he thought he was pretty graceful in his fall. I told him “Actually, no Peter, you fell like a ton of bricks and it didn't look pretty at all. It was scary as shit!” That made him laugh even more! So he put his helmet and sunglasses back on and we proceeded to continue our journey to East 18th st. The looks on the people’s faces as he rode by were priceless, especially the Jewish people in Midwood. Some small children even hid behind their mothers not knowing what this militant, scarfed, Nazi look-a-like was up to. I never laughed so hard. In the days after that, Peter admitted to me he hurt his hand but he felt it wouldn't affect his bass playing on the upcoming Type O tour that he was about to go out on. He still laughed at how different our views were of his fall. I couldn’t lie to him, he didn’t look as smooth as he thought he did.

The one thing Peter did for me that completely impressed me, happened in November of 2006. I was moving from Bergen Beach in Brooklyn to Staten Island. I mentioned this to him in a conversation about 3 weeks before my actual move date. He asked me the date I was supposed to move and told me that if I needed any help from him, to let him know and he would assist in the move. I found that to be a very generous offer, but I wasn’t planning on asking him to help me move. I’m the type of guy who doesn't ask for much help from friends because I hate to burden people with my stuff. Three weeks went by and I probably spoke to Peter like 3 times in that span, but never once did I mention the move to him. The night before I was scheduled to move, Peter called me at 10pm. He wanted to know what time he should be ready to help me in the morning. I was in shock! He actually remembered when I was supposed to move from our one brief conversation! I knew how much Peter hated waking up before 2pm. For him to actually remember, offer to help and to wake up at 6am to help me do manual labor was huge! None of my close friends offered to help, but Peter did. I gladly accepted his offer and picked him up at 6am. When I pulled up in front of his house to get him, he was waiting outside on his stoop with a friend of his that he recruited to also help with the move. I was completely impressed! He explained to me that he probably was only able to help me load the truck in Brooklyn and not unload in Staten Island due to a band practice that he had in the early afternoon. I had no problem with that! Here I was moving to Staten Island and my idol, my friend, Peter Steele was helping me move all belongings. How many people can say that ever had that happen to them? To this day, I was forever grateful he showed me such kindness and followed through with his promise. I’ll never forget that.

In the months leading into 2007, Peter and I hung out many more times. He went through a lot of emotional times with the sale of his family’s house and the friction he had with his family over it. He would call me at all sort of hours to vent and to express concern with finally moving out of the home he grew up in. We once had a 4 hour conversation about a plan he had to start a new band. He wanted to start a Type O Negative cover band. He wanted to call is “Simply NOT” (It takes a moment to understand the genius behind that) and he wanted to play all the Type O Songs in a major key with happier over tones. Then at one point, “via satellite” he would have the real Type O Negative appear on a big screen and the real Peter Steele would call him out (obviously this would have been previously recorded) for being a phony and they would have a battle of the bands. I couldn’t stop laughing! He was very serious about this! That was a fun conversation. Eventually he moved to Pennsylvania and Peter and I lost contact for the most part. In October of 2009 Peter called to invite me to see Type O in the city and he wanted to put me on the guest list. I felt guilty but I had to decline because I just had hand surgery the day before and I was laid up. That was awesome of him to think of me out of the blue like that! I really wish I was able to go see him perform for the last time.

One of the last times I saw Peter, he asked me to do him a favor. He asked me to drive him to Staten Island to see his eldest sister because he wanted to retrieve a family heirloom. It was his father’s semi automatic handgun his father used in WWII. He was very proud of this gun and everything it stood for. As soon as we left his sisters house, we got in the car and he handed me the gun. He said he wanted me to hold on to it for him for safe keeping because he couldn’t think of anyone else he would trust with it. He said he couldn’t trust himself with it and he knew when he was ready to take it, I would have it kept safe for him. I considered that to be a great honor. I didn’t let him down. A few months after his death, I returned the gun back to his family and upheld by end of the deal. I know Peter appreciated it.

The last conversation I had with Peter was in January of 2010. Back in 2006, I had a conversation with Peter about his car. He told me all these stories about the car and that his car was in storage in a friends driveway. I told him when and if he ever decided to part with the car, to give me first crack at it. He didn’t understand why I wanted it but he promised he would. When he called me that day in 2010, he called to give me his car. He didn’t want any money, he just wanted me to have it as a token of his friendship. I was floored by his generosity. We then spoke of some of his adventures in PA since he moved and we just laughed. We just picked up where we left off. He told me he was planning on coming in on Valentine’s Day weekend and wanted to come over to see my new house and meet my fiancé (now my wife) and we would speak of the details about the car. Unfortunately, those plans never happened. February 14th came and went and I never heard from him. That was the last time we spoke.

The last time I saw him was at his wake. All I could think about when I saw him in the casket was that I lost a great friend who inspired me in so many ways. He had his personal demons and his addictions but underneath all of that, he was an amazing person. His generosity, his selflessness, his music and his wit will continue to inspire me and help me be a better person. I admire the fact he was sober and clean in his last days and I wish I was able to get to know the new Peter....or as his family remembers him to be...the old Peter.

From the Ratajczyk Family: A huge thank you to Damian for coming forward with his remembrance of Peter for the positive things he's done in this lifetime and the inspiration Peter has had on his friends' lives.

@@@

A HUGE Thanks to

Patty Piorkowski (CT)

who has donated a number of times to

Autism Speaks

The Little Shelter Animal Rescue

It's people like you who understand the importance of giving -

thanks for choosing these charities that mean so much to us

@@@

Hope you all enjoyed this posting

It's A Gothic Birthday in Heaven

2012-01-04T06:00:00.004-05:00

This beautiful artwork is from Mary Wolfe who graciously designed a birthday photo for us to use on the blog:

For your Jerky Boy laughing pleasure:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ygv0bUw93Tg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4FfDDBFnJA4

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xMYeld2R-cQ&feature=related

BY MARY WOLF

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xD5No_JRrZw

Dreaming of a Prospect Park Sleigh Ride

2011-12-26T16:22:00.000-05:00

Christmas Eve brought a dream where I could feel the wind on my face, taste the snow flakes on my tongue and hear a familiar voice saying to me to "hold on tight" as I put my arms around his neck and sat on his back. It was night sledding and we were on our favorite hill near the pond. The air was crisp and I felt nervous excitement when I grabbed his neck and we flew down the hill. I could hear the kids from east 15 th street laughing. I could see my cousins at the bottom of the hill. I was safe. I was having fun. I was screaming. I was with Pete.

Thank you to Patty for the beautiful ornaments that Pete's sister Barbara is getting. You are too kind to us.

And thank you to all those special people who continue to donate to the organizations we are fond of.

Sending good wishes for the holidays to you all.

Good Things Come in Packages

2011-11-25T10:24:00.000-05:00

This week, we received a few nice parcels.

One giant-sized package was from Eloise Thiery in France. She painted this picture of Peter in June 2004 and was gracious enough to send it to me for the family. I'm wondering if it might be a great idea to have a gallery showing of all the beautiful artwork and photos of Peter's fans. Maybe something to think about for his birthday. There are all these great gallery spaces in Dumbo Brooklyn. Maybe ... we'll see. Eloise, thank you for inspiring me

Also, Peter's sister Pat received letters of thanks from St. Christopher's Inn, Little Shelter Animal Rescue and Autism Speaks for donations made in Peter's name. Thank you to "The Bands," "Theresa Macri," and an "anonymous" donor. Your thoughtfulness will help so many people and animals this year.

Also, this week, Peter's Tree was planted in Prospect Park:

For more information, go to the Facebook page: Peter's Tree

A Crop Of Pumpkin Love

2011-11-11T22:23:00.000-05:00

TY Mary Wolfe

A good friend of the blog,

Jessica Cassino

sent in this blog post

she wrote on Halloween.

Please check it out: Blog: Frock & Roller
Post: Pumpkins, Popcorn Balls, and Peter Steele
Link: http://www.frockandroller.com/2011/10/pumpkins-popcorn-balls-and-peter-steele.html

<<<<<<<< - >>>>>>>>

Thanks to Another Jessica (Black # 1)

for this next picture taken at a Virgin store signing:

My Carnivore, My Greenman

2011-11-05T08:26:00.000-04:00

Thank You Gayle for this lovely poem,

for sharing your artwork and your photos

Peter
You thought of yourself as nothing
But to me you are everything
I cry for you, I smile for you
My Carnivore, My Green Man
I wait for the moment my skin goes cold
So you can wrap your arms around me
I will never let you go
Thank you for making my existence bearable
See you in my dreams
Gayle xx

Gayle: I am sure we will meet one day ... Thanks

Mending The Pain

2011-10-31T04:00:00.008-04:00

With Halloween being synonomous with

Peter Steele & Type O Negative,

We thought this would be a fitting time

To say Thank You to the legion of Peter's fans who

Read this blog

Grieved with us all these months

Shared your own personal pains

Honored Peter with portraits & poetry

And reminded us how much his thoughts and fantasies

Impacted your lives.

Our family couldn't have healed without

your support

kind words

daily messages

charming notations

countless well-wishes & prayers.

The best decision we made this year was to start this blog.

Now, we must end it.

Remember,

Peter's legacy lives on through all of you.

Everytime you introduce his music to a new person,

you are inspiring someone to mend their pain

by listening to some else who wore their emotions

on his sleeve and through his music.

While we'll no longer be posting our personal Peter stories,

however Darcie will still be posting your

comments, artwork & memories on a weekly basis
&
we have no intention of taking the site down.

It's here for you to continue to enjoy.

This post is dedicated to the countless friends we made from all over the world

YOU ALL ARE AMAZING, TALENTED & BEAUTIFUL

Let's leave this last post with a song fitting for this day:

Black No. 1

I went looking for trouble
And boy
I found her...

She's in love with herself.
She likes the dark
On her milk white neck.
The Devil's mark.

It's all Hallows Eve.
The moon is full.
Will she trick or treat?
I bet she will.

She's got a date at midnight
With Nosferatu.
Oh baby, Lilly Munster.
Ain't got nothing on you.

Well when I called her evil
She just laughed.
And cast that spell on me.
Boo Bitch Craft.

Yeah you wanna go out
'cause it's raining and blowing.
You can't go out
'cause your roots are showing.

Dye 'em black.
Dye 'em black.

Black black black black No. 1
Black black black black No. 1.

Little wolf skin boots
And clove cigarettes.
An erotic funeral
For witch she's dressed.

Her perfume smells like
Burning leaves.
Everyday is Halloween.

Yeah you wanna go out
'cause it's raining and blowing.
You can't go out
'cause your roots are showing.

Dye 'em black.
Dye 'em black.

Black black black black No. 1
She dyes'em black
Black black black black No. 1
Black No. 1.

Loving you
Loving you,
Love loving you
Was like loving the dead.

Loving you
Loving you,
Love loving you
Was like loving the dead.

Loving you
Was like loving the dead,
Loving you
Was like loving the dead.

Loving you
Was like loving the dead,
Was like loving the dead
Was like loving the dead.

Was like loving the dead
Was like loving the dead.

Loving you
Loving you,
Love loving you
Was like loving the dead.

Was like fucking the dead.

Loving you
Was like loving the dead,
Loving you
Was like loving the dead.

Loving
Was
Was

Loving you
Loving you
Loving you,
Loving you
Loving you
Loving you
Was like loving the dead.

Was like loving the dead
Was like loving the dead.

Black black black black No. 1
She dyes'em
Black black black black No. 1
Black No. 1.

Black black black black No. 1
Black black black black No. 1.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vFwYJYl5GUQ

PLAY IT LOUD

With Lots Of Love from Pete's surviving immediate family:

Barbara, Pat, Pam, Cathy, lil' Nan, Michelle, Darcie, Tara, Marie, Siobhan, Victoria, Antonio, Samantha, Tristan & all his kitties.

For those of you who asked where to donate money

in Peter Steele Ratajczyk's name

here are a few organizations that we endorse:

MusiCares (Musician's Assistance Program)

This organization gave assistance to Pete in times of his addiction challenges.

Meant for musicians to have a place to turn,

in times of financial, personal, or medical crisis,

its primary purpose is to focus the resources and

attention of the music industry on human service

issues which directly impact

the health and welfare of the music community.

The foundation's programs include emergency

financial assistance, addiction recovery,

outreach and leadership activities, and senior housing.

http://www.grammy.org/musicares/who-we-are

………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

The Little Shelter Animal Adoption Center

Pete’s beloved cat died the same day Pete did.

Everyone knows of Pete’s love of animals,

and this is a no-kill shelter in Long Island.

www.littleshelter.com

33 Warner Road

Huntington, New York 11743

631-368-8770 x 206

………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Autism Speaks

Peter had a great interest in the autism phenomenon,

and had many books on the subject in his vast collection of books.

www.autismspeaks.org

Follow the site tabs: Donating, In Someone’s Honor, “In Honor of” or “In Memory of”,

………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

St. Christopher’s Inn

Dedicated to men in crisis; the Friars treat chemical dependency,

and provide primary health care and temporary housing.

Clients help pay for their stay through work for the community.

Franciscan Friars of the Atonement, Graymoor

2011 St Christopher’s Inn, Inc.

21 Franciscan Way

Garrison, New York 10524

800-424-0027

… …

Would You Suffer Eternally?

2011-10-30T16:13:00.000-04:00

I wanted to thank Patty P

for making these adorable

Peter Steele ornaments &

sending them to me to give out the the sisters.

The six she sent are divided by the colors green and red, and are painted with Peter's name, birth & death dates, and symbols. I am sending one to each of the sisters - Barbara, Patricia, Pam and Cathy (and keeping a set of each color for myself). My cousins will have to fight me for them.

I have mine hanging in my window

<<<<< - >>>>>>

Annie Riordan of California

Sends us the most heartwarming artwork

Thank you for always thinking of the family

Christian Woman

Forgive her for she knows not what she does

A cross upon her bedroom wall - from grace she will fall
an image burning in her mind - and between her thighs

A dying god-man full of pain - when will you cum again?
before him beg to serve or please - on your back or knees

No forgiveness for her sins - prefers punishment
would you suffer eternally - or internally - ah

For her lust - she'll burn in hell - her soul done medium well
all through mass manual stimulation - salvation

Corpus christi - she needs - corpus christi - corpus christi

Corpus christi - she needs - corpus christi - corpus christi
body of Christ - she needs - body of Christ - body of christ

She'd like to know - God - love - God - feel her God - inside of
her - deep inside of her - ah

She'd like to know - God - love - God - feel feel feel her god -
inside of her - deep inside of her

Inside of her - deep inside of her

Jesus christ looks like me - jesus christ - jesus christ looks
like me - jesus christ

Jesus christ looks like me - jesus christ oh - jesus christ looks
like me - jesus christ - ah

Which Video Version Do You Like Better? :

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V0LSO-dtsxo

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3sMALbhJU6M&feature=related

UnAuthorized? Not Too Sure Who Stands To Make Money From This

2011-10-30T04:00:00.004-04:00

ROADRUNNER TO RELEASE TYPE O NEGATIVE'S LABEL CATALOG AS VINYL BOX SET;
SOLD EXCLUSIVELY AT INDEPENDENT RETAIL OUTLETS ON BLACK FRIDAY

Roadrunner Records will release a special vinyl box set of Type O Negative's label catalog exclusively via independent retailers on Black Friday, which lands on November 25 this year.

As the first band to achieve platinum status on the Roadrunner Records roster, Type O Negative didn't rewrite the rules. They simply tore the rule book up, burned what was left of it and did whatever the hell they wanted with the smoldering ash. The result was nothing short of brilliant, as they combined dirge-like doom with head down, gothy grooves, all the while retaining the sort of signature melody that made their songs utterly memorable, infesting your brain like a virus.
Of the box set, Type O's Johnny Kelly said, "This looks great but we're disappointed that Roadrunner couldn't get it together to do the scratch 'n' sniff cover we wanted for The Origin of the Feces."
The vinyl box includes all Roadrunner released Type O Negative material contained within one collector's box. Each album will be issued on double green vinyl, with the album art recreated, including the controversial, rarely seen original cover of The Origin of the Feces. Type O fans know all about that cover and the anatomy which it features.

Each album will also have new, branded liner notes documenting the genesis and completion of each album. An exclusive sticker sheet with six mini bumper stickers will also be included in this must own set for Type O Negative diehards. It's an instant collector's item.

This set includes the following releases:
Slow, Deep and Hard (1991)
The Origin of the Feces (1992)
Bloody Kisses (1993)
October Rust (1996)
World Coming Down (1999)
Life Is Killing Me (2003)

http://www.facebook.com/typeonegative

[Published on: 10/26/11]

Those Feelings From When I Was a Teen

2011-10-29T04:00:00.001-04:00

This memory comes from one of our readers who wishes not to be named. Enjoy:

It was early May 2000, I had just finished high school & was in the throws of heartache and loss. I decided to spend my savings on a plane ticket to Europe. I had to leave my hometown, unable to withstand being close to all my accumulated memories and the lingering pain of a lost love. I contacted a good friend with the news, he put me up in his little room & we were destitute. We saved everything we made, trading things for food, then caught a set of wings to Paris in June of that year. Having so much that I wanted to see I left my friend to seek out ancient places, stir real or imagined past lives and kill the pain. By mid July I had parted with some kids I'd met in Venice, having slept in San Marcos square by day, and running the labyrinth of canals and bridges by night. The train departed early, still drunk on loss and wine I slept, waking briefly to scenes of foggy towns on the Czech border. I awoke amidst glorious mountains, the sun articulating every vista and tree. We stopped briefly at an abandoned train stop, wooden & splintered by time, a single sign there read, Frankenstein as my path ascended hillside then mountain. The beauty of the forest set me to plug in my portable speakers. October Rust, the smell of cedar and clean air rushing into the cabin windows. As the sun began to set silhouettes of ancient forests, steeples and mountains slowly crawled by as the sky became red. As though plunging into icy water I was awake and braced by the unimaginable beauty of the music and scenes rolling by with each passing moment. Taking in the vastness of time my thoughts drifted back, guided by Pete's voice and the soaring wall of sound into cathartic feelings of hope and mystery.

I ended up in Chemnitz, formerly Karlmarxstadt met a girl who took me into her flat on the rainy night I planned to sleep in the station. With her boyfriend and we listened to Type O till sunrise, recalling sweet memories, crossing borders from that little room into the great dark forest from which I had come.

<<<<<<<<< - >>>>>>>>>

TY Jonny for your contribution:

Hi, my name is Jonny. I'm from Los Angeles and have been quite a fan of Pete and Type O since 1993, and like every subscriber to your blog, Pete's music touches a part of me that no other music has ever. Back when I was 16 years old in 1993, I was a long haired rocker and played bass in a local Thrash Metal band in Hollywood. We would play various clubs on the Sunset Strip and then they would make us leave immediately after because we were under age. Once in a while we would sneak back in to watch the other bands play their sets. One evening I was at a show and a girl came up to me and said, "You know you look like Peter Steele." (I'm Polish/Russian/Italian and am 6'5" tall). I asked her who this guy was and she told me about Type O Negaive, so I was curious. The next morning I went to Wherehouse Music and bought Bloody Kisses. When I got home and put it on, the music instantly touched me and I listened to the album over and over and over, every time giving me goose bumps. I related perfectly to the deep and dark sensuality of the music and lyrics and I became a fan instantly. The album became my most prized possession. I listened to that music alone in my room, with my girlfriends, at the gym, when I was sad, in the car, at school and I even lost my virginity listening to it, ha! I was a moody bastard, but no matter what mood I was in, I was always in the mood to listen to Type O Negative. Being a 16 year old kid and not having a great relationship with my father at the time, I think Pete kinda became a role model to me. I could relate to him as a bass player who was really left handed but learned how to play right, his outlook on the world as well as to his physicality. I would read every interview about Pete and Type O I could find and even had the Negative symbol tattooed on my calf. I saw them every time they came into town for the Bloody Kisses and October Rust tours. At one show I was at, The House Of Blues in Hollywood for the "World Coming Down" tour in 1999, I pushed my way to the front of the stage, right under Pete. In the middle of a song, after taking a swig of his bottle of wine, he held it out and handed it down to me. I took a few swigs and then security came and took it away. Ha, that made my night. When I would go out to party at one of the local "metal" clubs/bars, people would come up to me throughout the evening and tell me how I look like Peter Steele. My friends and I would always joke around and tell them I'm his little brother. We would always get a good laugh. Between the way Pete's music has touched me and my admiration of him, Type O had quite an influence on my life

About 13 years have gone by since that show in '99 and I've grow quite a bit. I cut off my hair years ago, have changed my style with the times, been through school, started my own company, lived in different cities around the world, and have been through many relationships etc. I'm now 34, live in Beverly Hills where I built my business and have a nice life. I remember the sadness I felt when I read that Pete had passed. I sat there in front of my computer for hours with a knot in my stomach trying to make sense of it. Why? I felt a mix of sadness and anger to think about all the ideas, feelings and music in his brilliant mind, that he never got a chance to express and record. Having been caught up in the hustle and bustle of life over these years, I've lost touch with most of the music I grew up listening to, including Type O.

About about a month ago, a client of mine said something to me that sparked a memory of my youth which in turn sparked a memory of Type O which tugged a string inside of me. I went home, put on Type O Negative and sat there in the dark listening for hours. Everything came back to me, all the memories, all those feelings from when I was a teenager that Pete's music gave to me. It was wonderful. There's a side of me that got buried in these last 13 years underneath all the B.S. in life. Listening to Pete's music again has dug it up. I feel re-energized and have this new excitement again for life, like I had in my youth. I can't really put into words how Type O Negative's music makes me feel, but the subscribers of this blog know exactly what I'm talking about.

I love reading your blog everyday, please keep sharing. Pete lives on in all of us!

I came across this radio interview with Pete which I got many laughs from. I don't know if you have ever heard it.

http://www.wmmr.com/shows/weekends/blogentry.aspx?BlogEntryID=10110871

Note: This link has been posted before on the blog, but I thank Jonny for offering it again.

Peter Was Always Genuine & Down To Earth

2011-10-28T04:00:00.002-04:00

I’ve been a Type O fan for years and have had the pleasure of meeting them at various shows and signings. They are a great bunch of guys and Pete was always genuine and down to earth, just really polite and a good guy to be around. I was lucky enough to have a camera at some of these events, so I wanted to share them with you. The first one was taken at Loony Tunes at a signing in New York in March 2007, the second was taken at The Rams Head Live in Baltimore MD in May 2008 (which was sadly my last Type O show) and the third was taken at the Trocadero in Philadelphia PA on Halloween 2007. They were my favorite shows, when they would come to Philly for Halloween.

Thanks for all you do and share on your blog. I am thankful for the memories and the music-for all Pete shared with so many people. He is missed. Thanks for taking the time to read this email and I hope you like the photos. Take it E (-)

Natalie

Philadelphia PA

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

A little disappointed that The Phoenix didn't put TON music
up higher on the list. Your thoughts?
Black No. 1 made #21 on their list of
Top 100 Goth Rock Songs

http://supplements.thephoenix.com/supplements/2011/goth/song/?a=4274

As the Clear Crystal Cold Caresses My Soul

2011-10-27T04:00:00.002-04:00

Every Guy's Fantasy Came True In This Video

A still from the video

It's no secret we're close
As sweaty velcro
Like latex, fur and feathers
Now

In their '62 Vette
Sharing one cigarette
in a black light trance then
Go go dance
Then
Go go trance
Then

They keep me warm on cold nights
We must be quite a sight
In our meat triangle
All tangled
Wow

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KgkBWZXVLyk

*****

TY to Trench for this email & poem sent to the blog:

First I want to express my condolences. While the world has lost Peter I
know how hard it can be for a family to deal with such a loss.

I've been listening to Type O since I was in my mid 20s. I'm 42 now. I
was never the type to follow them from club to club and I only got to
see them once and that was in North Carolina of all places. However I
suffered from depression for the longest time and I when I heard Pete's
lyrics the depression didn't seem as bad as it did knowing that a talent
like him had similar doubts and fears.

I constantly thought of suicide but instead of taking my own life I
decided to put pen to paper as many people who suffer from depression do
and I banged out a few lyrics or poems, depending what you want to call
them.

The one I'm going to show you was heavily inspired by Type O Negative. I
had wished that if I ever got the chance to meet Peter that I could get
his critique on it even if he hated it.

Thank you for your time.

***

“Dark River”

October leaves fall dead upon the water
Bitter stench of romance in the air
Shadows offer me no refuge
Just my black cross to bear
The great sadness sickens me
Heed the dark river water’s call
Breaking through the glass surface
Off the banks of the river I fall

Fall backwards into the water
In a frozen crucifix pose
Too late for me to turn the tide
This is the liquid fate I chose
I can no longer fathom my existence
As the clear crystal cold caresses my soul
My eyes close as I lose sight of the surface
Open my mouth and let the water take its toll

Come to rest as my body reaches the bottom
Sink softly into the rivers sand
Death’s kiss is fresh upon my lips
Then she takes me gently by the hand
My body looks so peaceful as I leave
Crests of the river begin to swell
Death gives me one last embrace
As I begin my descent into hell

999999999999999999999999999999

Thanks to Jana for submitting this poem that reminds her of Autumn:

ALL HALLOWS EVE
The air is warm – it`s the breath of autumn
Falling leaves is dancing through the streets
A colourful death – year is dying
Farewell my God
I won`t crying
I visit some graves
Send a flower-greeting
And turn on a light (might the way less dark for the night)
Every year is one more
So am I get older every hour
One day to get none is my fear.
The day is filled with orange
Nature presents their best dress
Hear a soft knocking at this days door
Let the ghosts of the past in my floor
The evening sun send thoughs of thus what will come
Burning candles all over and the pumkin grin
The horrible nightmare will soon begin
Invite the dead ones – those who were gone
Like every new year I will run out in grief
This is my day- it is All hallows Eve.

A Tribute For Those Who Asked

2011-10-26T04:00:00.009-04:00

Because you asked for more, the Ratajczyk family and

Wicked Threads are putting out another short run of

Tribute t-shirts. Please see the link below to order shirts.

WICKED THREADS

In Collaboration with the Ratajczyk Family

Presents

Peter Steele's Official Memorial Shirt

As gratitude to a legion of dedicated fans who have always

Loved Peter More Than He Loved Himself

We are releasing for purchase a limited edition shirt

In Memory of Pete's Contributions to the Music World

Once our shirt production costs are recovered from your purchase,
the proceeds are used to keep Pete's legacy alive.

PeteSteeleTribute@gmail.com

Special thanks to Photographer Micheal Strider and
Cathy Ratajczyk for permission to use their
photographs of Peter for the shirt. Any and all
photographs of Peter on the internet cannot be
used for printing on apparel unless the photographer
gives signed authorization. All images are subject to copyright laws.

http://www.thewickedstore.com/steele.php

8888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888

BLOODY KISSES WILL BE DOING A HALLOWEEN SHOW IN DUBLIN
October 30th 7:30 - 10:30pm

at

CRAWDADDY on Harcourt Street.

If you are in Dublin, please go and support this band

Thank you

http://www.facebook.com/#!/event.php?eid=147600958667052

See Ya In Philly On Friday, October 28th

2011-10-25T11:57:00.000-04:00

We Hope To See You All At

The Haley Band's

Peter Steele Memorial Halloween Bash

Friday, October 28th

8:00pm - 11:30pm

The Legendary Dobbs

304 South Street (off S. 3 Street)

Philadelphia PA

Some of Peter's sisters will be in attendance to support

The Haley Band's Efforts in the Memorial for

Peter Steele

Thanks to Steve Haley for everything

No One Under 12 yo Allowed in Basement

2011-10-24T04:00:00.002-04:00

This Halloween memory comes from Peter's niece Marie:

Josh, Billy from East 15th Street, Pete at Halloween party in basement

When Peter was about 17yrs old he asked my Grandparents if he could throw a big Halloween party in the basement.. Nettie and Peter said yes, and Peter set up the rules for his Halloween bash: 1) everyone had to have a costume 2) No one was allowed under the age of 12.

Well, I was 10 at the time!!!

I cried and cried to go to Peter's big bash...But I was told I was under 12...So I wasn't alowed to go. For weeks before the party everyone was getting their costumes ready. Peter was buying decorations. I saw beer, chips, dips, cookies brought in. And All I could do was watch and cry. All my cousins were invited because they were all older than 12 yo -- except me

I Remember sitting upstairs in my grandparent's house the night of the party. All the cousins were coming in the house with their costumes on. A pirate, a clown, a swordsman... sigh... While everyone was heading to the basement I remember standing there and sobbing because I couldn't go downstairs to the party. I could hear the voices of Peter's friends coming into the house. I could hear laughing. joking, music blasting.

I turned to my Nana Nettie and said that I really wanted to go downstairs and that it wasn't fair that Peter invited everyone else but me. She gently wiped away my tears and said "come on...hang out with Gramps and I...Midget wrestling is coming on tv "( Nana's Favorite).

As the night went on...Peter had to come up and downstairs to get ice cubes and stuff...Everytime he came up I would stand there and cry...Begging..." PLEASE...Let me come to your party!!! I'll behave!!! I'll just sit and watch..I Promise Pete...."

After about the third time he came up I stopped asking...I just stood there looking pathetic. Then Peter turned to me on his way downstairs, and said "Come on....You can come down to the party"

I'll never forget that moment. I Looked up at him and said, "What about your friends?? Are they going to be mad that a kid is hanging out with you??" Peter looked at me and said, " Who cares what they think!!! Your the only one out of all my nieces that's not there...I want you to come"

I remember Jumping up and down and screaming on the top of my Lung's YEAH BABY!!!!! At that moment Peter looked at me and said, " None of that shit downstairs"

Caveman Pete and Marie sans costume

That was one of the best Halloween Parties I have ever been to...I had no costume on...I sat in the corner like I promised and just watched and smiled the whole time Everytime Halloween comes around I think of that night...How Peter let me join his Party...Iam Forever Grateful...

You Have An Enormous Soul

2011-10-22T04:00:00.002-04:00

The Ratajczyk Family is very thankful to a wonderful lady (and friend) Jeanne (dunebuggy4) who graciously takes our worn out old photos, restores them and sends them back to me. Jeanne - You are amazing ! Thank you for your beautiful friendship and help in making our treasured photos clear again ! Sending some pug love to you:

~~~~~~~

House With The Garden Where A Single White Egg Sits

Thank You Christine Batchelder For Sharing Your Peter Story:

Hello lovely members of the Ratajczyk family,

I stumbled upon for the love and I thought it incredible and touching and I wanted to share my Pete story.

My dad always supported my shenanigans, if i wanted to dye my hair green and listen to "music with bass lines that cause a sonic massage" he was fine with it, but he'd be damned if his baby girl was going to a rock show un-supervised! So on or around halloween, from age 14-16 my 5'4 father would accompany and watch over his 4'11 daughter, in a shitty dive bar like "club" in Boston (either axis or avalon), even if i would give him a ration of crap for wearing ear plugs that glowed under the black lights.

My 17th year of existence, we both got jobs working security for their concert crew (mostly so i could afford my friday night concert addiction). So when I got the go to work both nights of TON's scheduled gigs I could've done back flips. During set up for the security crew, which was after TON's sound check had wrapped up I found my 4'11 inch self standing infront of a 6'7 Pete and his red-headed lady friend.

I craned my neck back to look him in the eye, and the only thing that would come out of my mouth was "God damn I'm short!" and he in kind responded "Well you have an enormous soul." So my father and I talked about the nature of the soul, and how music can affect peoples moods. My dad, true to form, gave Pete shit for the volume of the music at the shows, and apparently (he didn't tell me this till 10yrs later) pulled Pete aside to ask why he was conversing so freely with his 17 year old kid, and Pete shook my father's hand and told him he raised a polite girl with wisdom beyond her years, I don't know if he was buttering him up to avoid "angry dad" or what but it was still nice to hear 10yrs after the fact.

The next year I didn't work security, but still wrestled my way to the front, and pete handed me a set list at the end of the show.

The next TON show I made it to was in Worcester for the Life is Killing Me tour and the largest venue I'd ever seen them play in, after the show as I was walking to my car I saw Pete as he was heading out the back, he took the time to say hi and chat for a few minuets despite the fact it was freezing out and his ride was waiting.

I feel privileged to have had even those few short conversations with him, I only wish I could have had a chance to talk to him at length. He was articulate, polite, and genuinely nice. He took the time to talk to an awkward girl with hair the color of a safety cone and her crazy over protective dad.

Type O's music offered me refuge, solace, peace, and as odd as it may sound a feeling of kinship. Type O would become my coping mechanism, when shit hit the fan, or I found myself emotionally gutted, Peter's music was always just a button press away, a balm to my tattered mind.

I just wanted to share the brief kindness Pete showed me, even if having written it out it seems trivial and passing, but it's always meant something to me.

My deepest condolences for your loss.

All the best,
Christine

&&&&&&&&

Thanks to Michelle Frost to pointing us to a website about "old Brooklyn." Here is her note to us:

Dear Ratajczyk Family,

Thank you for the wonderful website about Peter. It makes me feel that he is still alive--in our hearts--because of all the love and devotion he inspired in so many. Reading your posts helps get me through my dreary workdays. I especially enjoy the old family photos.

These photos of Old Brooklyn, in particular, Coney Island should prove entertaining: http://www.screanews.us/NewYork/BrooklynOld.htm

Best Regards,
Michele Frost, cat lover
>^o_o^<

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Want to know WHOA's best songs to work out to? Jessica Cassino

was gracious enough to recognize TON for her gym playlist

October 11, 2011

A Gym Playlist For A Bearable Workout

By: Jessica Cassino

Working out sucks. I hate it. The cheesy Top 40 hogwash they play at the gym doesn’t help either. It is distracting and makes me want to jump off the treadmill. I made a playlist to get me through my daily sweat sessions.

“Shoot to Thrill” – AC/DCThis song should be playing while I am doing crunches. 3 sets of 15. It will make me forget about the burn that goes with ab tightening.
“Dog Days Are Over” – Florence +The MachineThis song has gotten me through plenty of Spin classes. It makes me forget about my shitty day and helps me focus shrinking my butt. It is also good for running. Florence says it herself, “ The horses are coming/So you better run”.
“Wreckin’ Bar (Ra Ra Ra)” – The Vaccines
Great song to do pull-ups OR push-ups to. It is catchy and fast.
“The World Is Not Enough” – GarbageWhen you are lifting that Olympic bar, put this on and keep going. It is well worth the blood, sweat, and tears.
“Main Offender” – The HivesThis is a great warm-up song. Go get your jump rope.
“Too Fake” – HockeyFast enough for the StairMaster or the Elliptical. “I do everything that I’m told to.” Yep, like not eating a jar of Novella.
“Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is” – JetI still fit into my gym pants from freshman year of high school. I am 30. While I am doing lunges and squats, this song is blaring.
“A Dustland Fairytale” -The KillersAnother good song for Spin class or lifting my 15 lb. weights.
“Zero” -Yeah Yeah Yeahs
Every gym should play this song. Everyone is there to become a size 0. “Can you climb, climb, climb higher?” Karen O asks. Does going to the gym 6 days a week count?
“Pain” – Type O NegativeWhile I am pushing myself to the point of almost puking, Pete Steele is screaming macho crap into my dainty, pink Urbanears.
“Fundamentally Loathsome” - Marilyn Manson
I wish they would play this in my Pilates class. It would make it so much more bearable. It is one of Manson’s lighter songs, if you ask me.
“No One Sleeps When I’m Awake” -The Sounds
“You know it hurts so bad/Just like I knew that it would/But I’d do it again/Do it again if I could”. That is how your workout is supposed to feel.

http://whoamagazineonline.com/2011/10/11/a-gym-playlist-for-a-bearable-workout/

Bought Me Some Stinky Eggs

2011-10-20T04:00:00.001-04:00

The other morning, I drove by Peter's house on East 18th Street. It still looks the same. The new owners are still using the same garbage pails that have been in front of the house since Peter brought them home years ago. I parked the car and just leaned against the light post in front of the garden. I smiled. Oh so many years ago, we'd be watching Peter "plant" his many dozens of eggs in the bushes so that they could get nice and stinky for Halloween. I looked down the street to Josh's childhood house and remembered the dummy hanging from the tree. I walked down the Kippel's driveway and peered into the back yard. There was no pool. The porch was in rotting. Nettie was not seen sitting at the table with her crumbcake in one hand and hot tea in the other. Peter Sr. wasn't a fixture anymore with his filterless ciggy poised in one hand, bare chested showing his "Nettie" tattoo and perched on a bench. No one I know lives there. The neighborhood is completely different. The houses have facelifts. But the memories ... That's all we have right...

I must be about 4 yo here with Peter in the

backyard of Nettie's house.

There is a similar photo of Peter taken the same day,

that he always had with him wherever he moved.

It was taken from his home the day he died.

If you see it hanging in someone's house

(or hidden under their bed) -- swipe it for me.

It was Nettie's favorite photo of her son.

%%%%%%%%

Unsuccessfully Coping With The Natural Beauty of Infidelity

Trust and you'll be trusted

Says the liar to the fool

Lust so what if you're busted

In love and war there ain't no rules

Do you believe in forever?

I don't even believe in tomorrow

The only things that last forever

Are memories and sorrow

Out of sight, out of mind

The motto, the betrayal

The prophets preach to forgive and forget

I'm sorry, but I am unable

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FTQAAukQV94

Live from PA

So, I got back into the car. I drove to the store and bought a dozen eggs. I went back to Nettie's house, pulled one egg out of the package and positioned it in the front garden, behind the bushes. By Halloween it should be nice and stinky. Not sure if I'll come back to retrieve it ... It would be nice to know that it is there... just in case a very tall Brooklyn boy comes home and wants to play a little trick on an unsuspecting treater.

Nostalgia is a bitch ...

It Is October's Perpetual Agony

2011-10-18T07:15:00.000-04:00

This weekend, Peter's grandniece & I went to a very special engagement party for

a dear friend of Peter's, whom I first met over ten years ago.

As Siobhan & I drove through Westchester, up into Connecticut, along the water's edge,

the beauty of nature called to us. I know, if Peter was alive,

we would have made this trip together.

Thank you Jen & Mike for inviting us to your engagement party.

I'm sure Peter would have wanted to be there.

I love the photos that Jen takes ... they are hauntingly enticing.

Check out Jen's Photo Gallery:

http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.etsy.com%2Fshop%2FJenniferRoseGallery&h=HAQAPvhoN

http://www.twitter.com/JenRoseGallery

Suspended in Dusk

"Damn me Father, for I must sin..."
Four centuries of this damned immortality
Yet, I did not ask to be made. Why?
I will never again feel your sun upon my face
Or the comfort of a grave
I am not alive and I am not dead
This is Hell on earth
How can I possibly explain this eternal youth?
When I can do nothing, but sit by
As my loves grow old and wither
And with each of them, take a fragment of my heart
And prolong this endless winder
It is October's perpetual agony
It is the shadow realm
Father, please forgive him
For he knows not what to do
With every victim I pray for my own death
And as much as I love the night
I curse the moon's eerie glow
Tis bloodlust that drags me to forever
The toxic rays of dawn that condemn me to limbo
I am forced to dwell in grey Autumnal twilight
I am suspended in dusk
Father, please forgive him
For he knows not what to do
Father, please forgive him
For he knows not what to do

Love this vampire themed song ... Sorry, couldn't find it live !

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WMI7wAtbvj8

Live ... Pittsburgh ... Everything Dies
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SVS0aYra8U8

With No Warnings You Were Gone

2011-10-15T04:00:00.006-04:00

A HUGE ROUND OF APPLAUSE FOR

LUCIFER V

This painting is available on Deviant Art

Please check it out and contact LuciferV with any questions

http://browse.deviantart.com/?q=Peter Steele&order=9&offset=48#/d3bw6fr

*****

ANOTHER THANK YOU TO THE TALENTED

SCRATCH N SNIFF

SORRY, BUT THIS IS TOO BEAUTIFUL TO NOT SHARE

(TY A)

Aptly Titled "Blood & Fire"

I always thought we'd be together

And that our love could not be better

Well, with no warning you were gone

I still don't know what went wrong

You don't know what I've been through

Just want to put my love in you

No more nights of blood and fire

All those special memories

Now I bleed for you, burn for me

Perhaps I was just dreaming

When I think these things had real meaning

You don't know what I've been through

Just want to put my love in you

Love eternal

Lust infernal

Bleeding, burning

Needing, yearning

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G_s1irFunUc

Oh, and for our global friends (or those that never drank), here is a video that sort of explains what "quarters" is. Though, imagine that the shot glass has tequila or vodka in it. Your friends sit around the table. The person who gets the quarter into the glass picks the friend who has to shoot the drink with the quarter in it and the drinker has to catch the quarter between his/her teeth. The drinker shows the quarter to the group and then that person tries to get the quarter into the glass. Yes, sounds stupid, but this is what we used to do in the 80s. Think: beer pong with shot glasses.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_eWF9zAWVdA

Military Hat & Boa

2011-10-13T07:30:00.000-04:00

I'm not sure that it's possible to play a game of quarters while listening to Metal Insider's #5 pick, but, hey, everyone has a different heave reflex.

Saw this pic somewhere and had to share.

When we retrieved Peter's belongings, he had a huge box

filled with military hats that he loved to wear. He even

had the Russian Officer's hat I gave him many years ago.

My niece Tristan has that now. All the

hats were given to the kids in the family.

So, Sammi, Victoria, Antonio,

Danny and Siobhan have those items.

Metal Insider’s Top 5: Metal Drinking Songs

Posted by Metal Insider on Tue, Oct 11, 2011

Metal Insider’s Top 5 is a column where we count down the top five of…well basically anything.

Drinking and metal have gone hand in hand since before Steppenwolf coined the term “heavy metal” in “Born to be Wild.” There’s nothing like putting on something heavy and downing some adult beverages of your choice while doing so. And while there’s plenty of music to drink to, we wanted a list of songs specifically about drinking (or in the case of Carnivore, what happens after it). We also wanted the help of our readers, offering one person a signed Unearth beer bong as a prize for submitting the #1 metal drinking song. So grab your drink of choice and join us in this toast to songs about getting toasted.

5. Carnivore’s “Jack Daniels And Pizza”
Peter Steele had a wry sense of humor since well before he was in Type O Negative. You can tell from the title that the combination of Jack and pizza won’t go so well, and this is a cautionary tale caught on tape.

4. Clutch’s “Drink To The Dead”
3. Pantera’s “Goddamn Electric”
2. Tankard “For A Thousand Beers”
1. Psychostick’s “BEER!”

http://www.metalinsider.net/top-5/metal-insiders-top-5-metal-drinking-songs

A Little Light Shinin' In The Window ...

2011-10-11T04:00:00.003-04:00

I know that when most of you hear the "Set Me On Fire" lyrics you think of a lovely romantic Summertime fling, but I actually think of a person who we got to know. Based on the timing of the song's release and connection to Summer Breeze, it was probably not created with that person in mind. It may not be written about her, but still ... I'm reminded of the time she and Peter spent together and the advice she gave me one evening a long time ago ... Thanks Summer Girl ... You know what you told me about being myself ... and I've never forgotten the advice ...

I must confess, I have no idea what Peter is supposed to be in this outfit.

(Michelle, Peter, Me, Nancy)

See the curtains hangin in the window

Evening on a friday night

A little light shinin in the window

Lets me know everything's all right

Summer breeze makes me feel fine

Blowin through the jasmine in my mind

(TY Seals & Crofts)

LIVE ... At L'Amour in Brooklyn:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0qdS3gxZ6OM

As Sparks Rain Down

2011-10-08T04:00:00.001-04:00

THANK YOU JEN BITTER

FOR GIVING US THIS OPPORTUNITY TO

CHECK OUT SOME COOL PICS

A NICE STORY

Hello everyone!

I wanted to say I love love love the blog - its such a nice way to remember Pete!

I also wanted to tell you guys about my TON stories. I was introduced to them around 1997 - I was 16 and a good friend of mine was very into TON. He bought me copies of Bloody Kisses and October Rust and I absolutely fell head over heels for the music! My boyfriend at the time (my husband now) wasn't too into them, and my mother was extremely creeped out with Pete's voice. However I continued to listen.

Since then, they've been one of the few bands that have stuck with me the past 14 years - we even played My Girlfriend's Girlfriend for fun at our wedding. :-) I've seen TON in concert 13 times, mostly in Pittsburgh when I was attending college, but also when I was home in NJ we would go into Philly every time TON would play.

My husband and I had the pleasure of meeting Pete a couple of times, but this one time totally cracks me up. We were waiting outside to say hello, get a pic and so on. Finally it was our turn and I got to take a pic with Pete, he was so nice - of course I wanted a pic of Pete and my future husband so they graciously posed together as well. Pete made some cracks how he didn't mind taking a pic with him because he finally didn't have to look down on someone (my husband is 6'6") and I have a pic of him choking my husband! hahaha. He then leaned in and whispered "now watch this" and fell to the ground in a faint!! Of course, we knew it was a joke, but everyone around us freaked out! My husband along with 5 others carried a completely limp Pete onto the tour bus (imagine that!!). As soon as we were on the bus, he winked, laughed, and got up! Be it a Halloween joke or a way to get away from the crowd, I'm not sure, but he then thanked us and we were on our way! It was too funny!

The last time I saw TON was a tour in May of 2008 with SOiL. We are friends with one of the guys from SOiL, so after their set, we stayed and watch TON for about half of the show and then met him to hang out. I had no idea it would be my last TON show, and it saddens me everytime I think about it that I didn't stay til the end of their set. However this is life and I have had the great pleasure of seeing them 13 times (many a Halloween show too!). I have to say Pete's music, lyrics, and antics are something I won't soon forget, and I thank you for sharing a more personal side as well. I read the blog almost everyday.

Thank you again so much, I hope my story has brought a smile,

Jennifer

Note: I have to apologize for the slow down of the blog posts. Life is interfering with my love of this blog. Till the end of October, I'm scaling the posting back to 4 times a week. Thank you for your continued love and support of us and the blog. You are all an amazing group of people.

Have a Great Weekend.

We Make Really Bad Music

2011-10-07T04:00:00.002-04:00

I hum this song every time I fight with someone

Too Late: Frozen

So you've come to say your're very sorry

Won't happen again forgive me

Time will not heal away these wounds

And I'm bleeding, bleeding because of you

It's too late, it's too late, it's too late

(Too late for apologies)

Once everything we had just a joke?

I've run out of patience, tears and hope

Love does not conquer all

And I'm screaming, screaming because of you

In the shadow of the light from a black sun

And frigid statue standing icy blue and numb

Where are the frost giants I've begged for protection?

I'm freezing

Cold winter winds that chill my heart with sleet and with snow

Not from the north come to this glacial abode

But from your dimension cryogenic limbo

I'm freezing

Frozen, Frozen, Frozen

I'm freezing

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GJlFBJcqC_8

Since I don't understand the language of the interviewer, AND there are no English subtitles I can only expect that Pete and Kenny are answering the right answers to the right questions. THOUGH, from Peter's initial smile, I'm not too sure:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c4oG7uqXZNc&feature=related

Danish Radio Interview with Peter May 15, 1997:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9COWK2mQbm0&feature=related

One Hundred Candles Burning ...

2011-10-05T04:00:00.001-04:00

My Personal Favorite

You can hear the emotion in the lyrics and when Peter sings.

Purely sensual

Great photo by Adam Wills

In her place on hundred candles burning

As salty sweat drips from her breast

Her hips move and I can feel

What they're saying, swaying

They say the beast inside of me

Is gonna get ya, get ya, get

Black lipstick stains her glass of red win

I am your servant, may I light your cigarette?

Those lips smooth, yeah

I can feel what you're saying, praying

Music Video for LOVE YOU TO DEATH
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xD5No_JRrZw&feature=fvsr

Live Video : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9DxgVB48JSY

Personally, I'm always happy to see Peter when he's live, but the music video is great too. You decide which you like better.

I'm Here All Month ...

2011-10-03T04:00:00.001-04:00

October is all about color, beauty, splendor, and crispness.

As Peter Steele has pointed out, it's also about dying, change, and transition.

This month I want to share talent, song and laughter with you all.

I hope you help me celebrate Peter and Nettie's favorite time of the year.

TY Louie from 13 Casketcrew 13 on FB

I call this "Forest Pete"

She thinks i'm iron man that i don't feel pain
I don't understand why joy must be feigned
I'm so fortunate yet filled with self hate
That the mirror shows - me an ingrate

I could easily start pointing fingers
Since the blame is mine it always lingers
That the truth it lies in my reflection
Though this can't go on - there's no question

Yeah i know
That my world is coming down
Yeah i know - i know - i'm the one who brought it down

- brought it down - bring it on down

How quickly pass the days - long is night
Lying in bed - awake - bathed in starlight
Better to live - as king - of beasts
Than as a lamb - scared - and weak

I will deny - my role - as - a human
Holding myself - hostage - with no - demands
It's better to burn - quickly - and bright
Than slowly and dull - without - a fight

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JN_BlF9Vtvw

From Netherlands to Joisey ... Fans Celebrate Pete

2011-10-01T04:00:00.003-04:00

TY to Jennifer Hilarie from Netherlands:

Dear bloggers that comfort us fans with
lovely memories of Pete,

Just a quick email to thank you for setting up
your blog - you know better
than any fan could, how much it twists the
stomach to know that we'll never
hear his voice again; and reading bits from
your and his life makes that
thought less painful, because it feels like
celebrating his life. Please keep
up the good work - though I have no doubt
that none of you will ever
stop celebrating Pete, I still feel the need to
thank you for turning that
into something us fans can participate in.
I have the distinct feeling that
the man himself would be rolling his eyes
every now and then...? But
again: thank you for comforting us when
we feel sad for losing the
voice that accompanied our teenage
and young adult years, all
the way to today!

****

Thank you Louie from FB 13 Casket Crew 13

for allowing me to borrow this from their page.

It's too lovely not to post on our blog. Enjoy !

***

TY to Frank Savino for sharing this with everyone:

I first met Peter when I was fifteen years old in 1991. I had heard
"Unsuccessfully Coping
with the Natural Beauty of Infidelity" on our local north jersey
college radio station WSOU.
Complete with Josh and the band in studio, it was the most
unforgettable radio song and
interview I will ever hear. With censored bleeps everywhere
appropriate, it almost seemed
divinely radio timed. I made sure I found out where to
see these brilliant and vulgar men
perform next. It was Studio One in Newark, one
of the very first Type O Shows ever!
My nerdy friend and I called the amateur college
radio station and asked to speak to
Peter "which he allowed" and Pete put us on
the guest list as "Rodney Plus One". This
was unreal to us. We had already somehow
understood his power, and for him to
acknowledge us in this way was to undeservedly
share in his greatness. When we
arrived at the venue early we saw our lord
walking around quickly and busily, being
the driving force to set up this show. We
inapropriatly approached him with our trivial
questions and pimpled faces. He slowed his
walking pace to ours and switched into
a mode of “these kids were his top priority”
We childishly asked him what songs he
would play tonight, and he stopped and counted
on his fingers every song on Slow
Deep and Hard, In the order in which he
would play them... To say Peter was
Christ-like is an understatement to say
the least, He was Pete-like.

***
HAPPY AUTUMN EVERYONE

Go out and play in the leaves

Slasher ... Horror ... Scarefest

2011-09-30T04:00:00.001-04:00

As you can see I'm on a weeklong horror movie bend.

Thinking about all the movies we watched together as kids has me excitedly looking through my dvds getting ready for the weekend. While Peter loved campy slasher films as much as Hitchcock films (who could forget The Birds), the primal killer and supernatural lured him too. While he could enjoy black and white films, there was nothing like watching blood and gore with him doing sound effects and setting up visuals to freak out his mother and sisters.

Do You See The Resemblance?

To cap off the week of ghoulish movies to kick off Fright Month, here are a few more of Pete's favorites:

* Jaws ( I know you don't consider this to be a horror film, but Peter liked it) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mz4nFYMYTY4

* Carrie ( nothing like blood in a bucket) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K-nvpjS0-y4

* American Werewolf in London (Peter loved the special effects ) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UFLQS12z8K4

Side Note: I've seen Peter recreate the American Werewolf scene (minus the ripping off clothes). He would be in the middle of a normal activity and then he'd throw himself on the floor and recreating the wolf growls and the blood curdling screams. God ... I miss those days when you could be a child and do that in public !

You Remind Me Of The Man

2011-09-29T04:00:00.003-04:00

You Remind Me Of The Man

What Man?

The Man With The Power

What Power?

The Power of Voodoo

Who Do?

You Do

I Do What?

You Remind Me Of The Man

I don't know if you read The Gothamist or AOL News but a Willy Wonka Chocolate Factory store opened in Times Square today. And, just like the movie, they are giving out GOLDEN TICKETS. I mention this because Pete LOVED the 1971 classic Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory movie. While my mother thought the movie had a terrible message to kids about not being accepted in the world, Peter and the cousins would delight every time it was on.

Can you guess the song he loved most?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qw0zZttfUaw

Stephen King Classic Spooky Movies:

(Note: We all LOVED the books too.)

* The Shining (A personal favorite of Peter's) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2TVooUHN7j4

* Salem's Lot http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aIbJ2rQ59ZE

* The Stand http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qsMp2pZK-Cw

* IT (Darcie can't even watch the trailer for this movie - it freaks her out ) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4wDQbf5x4iw

He's Dracula's Soul Brotha

2011-09-28T08:55:00.000-04:00

You Can Tell It's Peter By the Tatts

A Werewolf, Dracula, Frankenstein, Mummy ... yes even a cowboy once ... Peter Steele, like every little boy dressed up for Halloween. As an adult ...well, you know he didn't change very much.

I remember the time he went as a Mummy. We were older then, almost too old to go Trick or Treating. Peter, of course was HUGE but he didn't care what people thought of a 6 foot 13 year old (or so). I remember the month before his sister Nancy helping him with his outfit. First he tried to use toilet paper and elmers glue to apply the bandages. Then Nancy came up with the idea of getting boxes and boxes of gauze and dyeing them to appear old and decrepit. We liked the yuk factor. It had to be realistic or it wasn't a costume to be proud of.

Here are more of Pete's favorite movies:

* Amityville Horror (Nancy had moved out to LI by then, so we visited the house ... several times) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9fSqS0MrOZ0

* Audrey Rose (A favorite of Nettie's) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gr-iri3B11E

* The Omen (Nettie would say the rosary during this film. She found it unsettling. Which of course made Peter laugh at her even more) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WA6gxjzBPLM

* Blacula ( Peter cracked up over this one - he's dracula's soul brotha!) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vN2a5zGmBPI

He Did The Mash ... He Did The Monster Mash

2011-09-27T04:00:00.002-04:00

As you can tell from stories from this blog by now, Peter's love of horror and suspense films ranged from the completely ridiculous to pure adrenaline-inducing fun.

Apparently CBS features a gallery of Peter Steele fan pics: http://www.cbsnews.com/2300-207_162-10003137.html?tag=page

Following in this week's Monster Mash theme (Peter LOVED that song), here are more movie favorites:

Friday The 13th (Peter and Nan took us to see this one Friday nite. We walked home in the dark from the theater and then slept over Nettie's house. I don't think I ever closed my eyes that night) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gjiqwTv9yeI

He Knows You're Alone http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=293uShwU8cc

Maniac ! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NcZew9lFAgY

Prom Night http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j5pRzHJp_pM

Halloween (We saw this 5 times in one week - Peter would hum the theme music from this all the time) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ljchb1tsLfs

**************

Our cousin Katie says there's a full length silent film, Nosferatu, which has been redubbed with TON music. It's available in several parts on Youtube, but I can never get the audio to work. Here is a snippet from the film: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l06WjpJOnrI

Count Down To Monster Movie Month

2011-09-26T04:00:00.001-04:00

Back when tv had no Netflix, Blockbuster, Cable, DVRs, the Ratajczyk cousins would sit in the livingroom with Peter as he read through the TV Guide telling what movies were coming up the first weekend of October. Each week when the Guide came, Peter would scan through it and announce what movies we were going to stay up and watch with his mother, Nettie.

Usually, we could catch a good monster movie on Channel 11 WPIX in New York and on occasion, Channel 13 PBS would show a classic horror flick in black and white.

Some of Peter's (and our) favorites:

The Blog (the original 1958 version) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XhyRpvgm03g
(Peter would stuff his mouth with grape jelly then squish it through his teeth and down his chin to portray "the blob" coming out of his mouth. Grossed us out every time)

Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1956 & 1978 versions) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mTSR6bu0Nq0

Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things (1972) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hm8elaYH7c4

Night of the Living Dead (1968) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pElSu_ECJGM

The Exorcist (1973) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YDGw1MTEe9k
(of course Peter recreated the "pea soup" segment for Tara, Marie, Michelle, Nancy and I one night. We tried pea soup and tomato soup - we all agreed that the tomato soup was way more disgusting)

************

Oh, wanted to share. Interesting "memorial piece" combo for Peter and Bela Lugosi:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b4pWGVIrNLc&feature=related

My Pete Of The Week

2011-09-24T00:20:00.001-04:00

CHRIS JONES

SHARES A GREAT PHOTO

WITH THE LOVE OF PETE COMMUNITY

A Huge Thank You to

MIZ DEATH

for her great note to us

I just wanted to send a note to tell you how much I love the blog. I’ve subscribed to the email updates, and read them every morning while I sit on the porch with my coffee and the dogs and start my day (read: smoke two cigarettes) before getting ready to head into the office.

I was never a “super-fan” of TON, rather I had a deep love for many of their songs, and yes, like all women, I fell in lust with Peter’s physicality and self-deprecating humour. I loved how he buried his joke by wrapping in thin sheets of metal. I was turned on to TON while falling in love with the love of my life; he lent me the CD (already 6 or six years old at the time) and that was literally it for me – the music just resonated with me, made me laugh, made me feel human, really just made me “feel” – the great irony is that, Bloody Kisses - to this day- gives me the physical feeling that is the beauty and pain of falling in love. I will cherish it forever as it was the soundtrack to one of the happiest times in my life.

The man I fell in love with at the time happened to be a 6’7” metal fan with long blonde hair, a strikingly beautiful face and a build very similar to Peter’s. Each and every year I would try to convince him to “go as Pete!” for Halloween, but he was on to my evil ways and refused my requests for black hair and fangs – despite that fact that my Dad is an oral surgeon and could have done them for free. But alas, I tried.

Like many people, I have a list of “must do” things – they run the gamut of riding a horse in Germany (done) recording a cover of Teenage Kicks (done) driving from coast to coast in a convertible (done) seeing Roddy Frame play live (not yet) and seeing TON (sadly, no)

A few Halloweens ago, TON played in Detroit but the show wasn’t announced until after we had purchased tickets to another event in Buffalo (we live in Toronto) – and we agreed, as much as it pained me, to carry on with the initial plan, and my husband promised me we’d make the trek to see Pete the next time he was anywhere in the vicinity – we’ve been known to drive to NYC, Chicago and Detroit for shows as were really only 7 or 8 hours from all of those places. In hindsight, missing that show was one of the biggest regrets I have as we lost Peter a little over a year later.

The day he died I had a busy day and was in meetings for most of the morning; when I walked into the office my entire staff looked at me and looked away – they knew of my fondness for Pete through my “Pete of The Week” Facebook posts. Id often slip in quotes from Peter or some of TON’s lyrics into my “motivational” emails to the group to help keep a sense of perspective and humour in an exceptionally corporate environment – needless to say, I was devastated by the news, mainly for selfish reasons as I hadn’t seen TON play – but also because but I loved and relied on that persona to be out there in the world, much like how I felt about Joey Ramone – life just felt better knowing he was out there.

Keeping up with your blog has taught me a new sense of your loss and the love that surrounded Peter. I feel like I am beginning to understand him as a person through your relationship, remembrances and life with him - more so than any album or interview could ever convey (although Playgirl did come pretty close…)

Thank you for helping me to understand his greatness as a person, friend, son, brother – please keep going for as long as you can, because it helps to make it feel like he’s still here. And that’s a really good feeling.

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

Looking for that Spa treat for Halloween,
here's a shout out to Jessica Cassino.

A fellow beauty blogger and music journalist

http://www.frockandroller.com/2010/10/top-7-halloween-products.html

If You Were A Crayon, What Color Would You Be?

2011-09-23T04:00:00.003-04:00

While I wasn't in on the conversation between Peter Steele and his sister Pat, I do believe that Peter either didn't realize he was having this experience consciously, or he didn't realize it until having a conversation with Pat, and then he realized he was experiencing synesthesia. While I'm not sure if people who see chakras are the same people who experience color associations -- it was a good point to note. Was Peter having a synesthesia moment when he saw people as colors or was he really just reading their chakras? Also, while he was a left-handed person who was immensely creative, I'm not sure we can say that the correlation between left-handedness and synesthesia is the norm. Pat isn't left handed, yet she has experienced a couple of forms of this phenomenon and I'm not left-handed. But, I might add that neither she nor I play musical instruments - though as many of you know, we are related. So ... not sure what all these means,

but still ... pretty ... darn ... interesting.

I was feeling a little green today

Experiences

Synesthetes often report that they were unaware their experiences were unusual until they realized other people did not have them, while others report on how they discovered synesthesia in their childhood. The automatic and ineffable nature of a synesthetic experience means that the neural pairing may not seem out of the ordinary, and the involuntary and consistent nature helps define synesthesia as a real experience. Most synesthetes report that their experiences are pleasant or neutral, although some report that their experiences can lead to a degree of sensory overload.

Though often stereotyped in the popular media as a medical condition or neurological aberration, many synesthetes report it as a gift—an additional "hidden" sense—something they would not want to miss. Some have learned how to apply this gift in daily life and work in memorizing names and telephone numbers, mental arithmetic, but also in more complex creative activities like producing visual art, music, and theater.

Various forms

Synesthesia can occur between nearly any two senses or perceptual modes, and research has discovered one synesthete that linked all five senses. Given the large number of forms of synesthesia, researchers have adopted a convention of indicating the type of synesthesia by using the following notation x → y, where x is the "inducer" or trigger experience, and y is the "concurrent" or additional experience. For example, perceiving letters and numbers (collectively called graphemes) as colored would be indicated as grapheme → color synesthesia. Similarly, when synesthetes see colors and movement as a result of hearing musical tones, it would be indicated as tone → (color, movement) synesthesia.

While nearly every logically possible combination of experiences can occur, several types are more common than others.

Grapheme → color synesthesia

In one of the most common forms of synesthesia, grapheme → color synesthesia, individual letters of the alphabet and numbers (collectively referred to as graphemes), are "shaded" or "tinged" with a color. While different individuals usually do not report the same colors for all letters and numbers, studies with large numbers of synesthetes find some commonalities across letters.

As a child told her father, "I realized that to make an R all I had to do was first write a P and draw a line down from its loop. And I was so surprised that I could turn a yellow letter into an orange letter just by adding a line." Another grapheme synesthete says, "When I read, about five words around the exact one I'm reading are in color. It's also the only way I can spell. In elementary school I remember knowing how to spell the word 'priority' [with an "i" rather than an "e"] because ... an 'e' was out of place in that word because 'e's were yellow and didn't fit.”

Sound → Color Synesthesia

Sound → color synesthesia is "something like fireworks": voice, music, and assorted environmental sounds such as clattering dishes or dog barks trigger color and firework shapes that arise, move around, and then fade when the sound ends. For some, the stimulus type is limited; for others, a wide variety of sounds triggers synesthesia.

Sound often changes the perceived hue, brightness, scintillation, and directional movement. Some individuals see music on a "screen" in front of their face, while for some music produces waving line configurations moving in color, often metallic and with height, width and depth. Individuals rarely agree on what color a given sound is (composers Liszt and Rimsky-Korsakov famously disagreed on the colors of music keys); however, synesthetes show the same trends as non-synesthetes do, that loud tones are brighter than soft tones, and that lower tones are darker than higher tones.

Number-Form Synesthesia

A number form is a mental map of numbers that involuntarily appears whenever someone who experiences number-forms thinks of numbers. It has been suggested that number-forms are a result of "cross-activation" between regions of the parietal lobe that are involved in numerical cognition and spatial cognition.

Ordinal Linguistic Personification

OLP, or personification for short, is a form of synesthesia in which ordered sequences, such as ordinal numbers, days, months and letters are associated with personalities. Documented in the 1890s, only recent modern research has paid attention to this form. For some, in addition to numbers and ordinal sequences, objects are sometimes imbued with a sense of personality.

One synesthete says, "T’s are generally crabbed, ungenerous creatures. U is a soulless sort of thing. 4 is honest, but… 3 I cannot trust… 9 is dark, a gentleman, tall and graceful, but politic under his suavity." And, "I is a bit of a worrier at times, although easy-going; J is male; appearing jocular, but with strength of character; K is female; quiet, responsible...."

Lexical → Gustatory Synesthesia

In the rare lexical → gustatory synesthesia, individual words and the phonemes of spoken language evoke taste sensations in the mouth. Additionally, these food experiences are often paired with tastes based on the phonemes in the name of the word (e.g., I, n, and s trigger a taste of mince, f triggers serbert. Another source of tastes comes from semantic influences, so that food names tend to taste of the food they match, e.g., the word "blue" tastes "inky."

Note from Darcie: I'm glad that we can end the week with informative reading. Some of you have asked to know more about what Peter liked to read. These are exactly the books he would have read or the discussions he would have had with you when he had a chance to sit down and REALLY talk. Some of you have wondered (via email) if Peter's synesthesia only happened when he was using drugs. It may have. We don't know. We can only tell you that this conversation happened when he was sober and he noted it was something he experienced his entire life.

To us, Peter was one in a million. Now we know that he was at least 1 in 23.

If you haven't already shared this test link with your friends and family, I encourage you to do so. It would be interested what you find and what people's reaction is to this "gift."

Take the test, The Synesthesia Battery … ://synesthete.org

Glad We Could Learn You Something

2011-09-22T04:00:00.001-04:00

I'm glad that yesterday's post seemed to strike a colorful cord with a lot of you. Thanks for the enormous amount of direct emails about your reactions and thoughts on the subject.I promise we'll email back everyone within a reasonable amount of time.

We remember one of Peter's friends sharing that when Peter said he touched a person, he'd see color representations for different people. So, to him, one person was a red and another a purple. Could you imagine what a rainbow was before him when he played on stage and worked with so many people.

Apparently it's all a part of Synesthesia ... read on:

Posted on FB by Mary Wolfe on Sista's & Brotha's wall

How someone with synesthesia might perceive certain letters and numbers.

In one common form of synesthesia, known as grapheme → color synesthesia or color-graphemic synesthesia, letters or numbers are perceived as inherently colored, while in ordinal linguistic personification, numbers, days of the week and months of the year evoke personalities. In spatial-sequence, or number form synesthesia, numbers, months of the year, and/or days of the week elicit precise locations in space (for example, 1980 may be "farther away" than 1990), or may have a (three-dimensional) view of a year as a map (clockwise or counterclockwise). Yet another recently identified type, visual motion → sound synesthesia, involves hearing sounds in response to visual motion and flicker. Over 60 types of synesthesia have been reported, but only a fraction have been evaluated by scientific research. Even within one type, synesthetic perceptions vary in intensity and people vary in awareness of their synesthetic perceptions.

While cross-sensory metaphors (e.g., "loud shirt," "bitter wind" or "prickly laugh") are sometimes described as "synesthetic", true neurological synesthesia is involuntary. It is estimated that synesthesia could possibly be as prevalent as 1 in 23 persons across its range of variants. Synesthesia runs strongly in families, but the precise mode of inheritance has yet to be ascertained. Synesthesia is also sometimes reported by individuals under the influence of psychedelic drugs, after a stroke, during a temporal lobe epilepsy seizure, or as a result of blindness or deafness. Synesthesia that arises from such non-genetic events is referred to as "adventitious synesthesia" to distinguish it from the more common congenital forms of synesthesia. Adventitious synesthesia involving drugs or stroke (but not blindness or deafness) apparently only involves sensory linkings such as sound → vision or touch → hearing; there are few, if any, reported cases involving culture-based, learned sets such as graphemes, lexemes, days of the week, or months of the year.

Definitional criteria

Although sometimes spoken of as a "neurological condition," synesthesia most often does not interfere with normal daily functioning. Early cases included individuals whose synesthesia was frankly projected outside the body (e.g., on a "screen" in front of one's face). Later research showed that such stark externalization occurs in a minority of synesthetes. Refining this concept, one can differentiate between "localizers" and "non-localizers" to distinguish those synesthetes whose perceptions have a definite sense of spatial quality.

It was once assumed that synesthetic experiences were entirely different from synesthete to synesthete, but recent research has shown that there are underlying similarities that can be observed when large numbers of synesthetes are examined together. Nonetheless, there are a great number of types of synesthesia, and within each type, individuals can report differing triggers for their sensations, and differing intensities of experiences. This variety means that defining synesthesia in an individual is difficult, and the majority of synesthetes are completely unaware that their experiences have a name. However, despite the differences between individuals, there are a few common elements that define a true synesthetic experience.

... More tomorrow on the various types of synesthesia ... I'm sure some of you will fit into this category. If only 1 in 23 people are synesthetics, just think of how extraordinary those people are ... hopefully now, if you didn't realize it before, you now know that you are in an elite class of interesting people.

Self proclaimed Synesthetics have been:

Tori Amos

Leonard Bernstein

Sir Robert Cailliau

Duke Ellington

David Hockney

Billy Joel

Marilyn Monroe

Vladimir Nabokov

Eddie Van Halen

Stevie Wonder

Do You Hear Music In Color?

2011-09-21T00:44:00.000-04:00

It's amazing how sharing a simple conversation about one person opens up a whole new realization about life and how we experience it.

So, I ask if you hear music in color. I know, you think it's a typo. It's not. In fact, if you ever had a conversation with Peter about what it was like for him to write and hear music, he'd say it was a colorful experience. And for him, when he heard music notes or visualized them, he actually saw different colors that coordinated with different notes. In fact, the way Peter's mind worked is a bit unusual. It's a condition called Synesthesia or referred to as Disambiguation.

Peter's sister, Pat mentioned her conversations with Peter about music and colors the other night when we were at dinner. She told me how Peter explained that when he hears music, each of the notes have their own color. So, he'd see a colorful burst with each note played right before his eyes. And then he thought about those notes, he thought about the colors that were represented. Pat also explained that for her, when she envisions the days of the week or months in a year, those words are floating around her ... That's when a spark went off in my head ... because it was exactly how I see words. I just assumed it was the "normal" way of visualizing. Apparently, not everyone does. As it turns out, Synesthesia takes on various forms ... these are just two of them.

Synesthesia, from the ancient Greek (syn) "together," and (aisthēsis) "sensation," is a neurologically based condition in which stimulation of one sensory or cognitive pathway leads to automatic, involuntary experiences in a second sensory or cognitive pathway. Synesthesia has been revealed to be a mis-firing or an abnormal joining of neural connectivity whereby the occasion of one sense is accompanied by a perception within another sense. People who report such experiences are known as synesthetes.

Psychological research has demonstrated that synesthetic experiences can have measurable behavioral consequences, while functional neuroimaging studies have identified differences in patterns of brain activation. Many people with synesthesia use their experiences to aid in their creative process (and many non-synesthetes have attempted to create works of art that may capture what it is like to experience synesthesia). Psychologists and neuroscientists study synesthesia not only for its inherent interest, but also for the insights it may give into cognitive and perceptual processes that occur in synesthetes and non-synesthetes alike, and research can help with other neural connectivity problems, such as autism & ADD.

In addition to being involuntary, this additional perception is regarded by the synesthete as real, often outside the body, instead of imagined in the mind's eye, It also has some other interesting features that clearly separate it from artistic fancy; its reality and vividness are what make synesthesia so interesting in its violation of conventional perception. Synesthesia is also fascinating because logically it should not be a product of the human brain, where the evolutionary trend has been for increasing separation of function anatomically.

Thank you Karla Collins for allowing me to share this beauty with our community !

I wonder if this is why Peter was so artistic visually as he was creative musically?

Want to find out if you have Synesthesia? Think there is a connection between how you think and your creativity? Check this out:

Take the test: The Synesthesia Battery … ://synesthete.org

Check out books … //www.mixsig.net

PBS NOVA Series, Secret Life of Scientiests,

Steffie Tomson, Researcher; //pbs.com

... More Tomorrow on this interesting subject of how Peter envisioned music. I invite you to share your own experiences with Synesthesia.

Being Sober Is Like Being Addicted to Life

2011-09-20T04:00:00.002-04:00

Alas, here is what Nikolas Kolenich turned in for his "newswriting" class on December 9, 2009. Thank you Nikolas for sharing your article and allowing us to peek into your Flickr account for show photos:

Thanks Brenda for the Photo

Front man Peter Steele has quit drinking and put down drugs as the 20-year-old Brooklyn doom-metal band Type O Negative takes a new approach.

Standing at 6 foot 8 inches, with fangs and long jet-black hair, Steele is definitely the man people notice on stage. After 10 straight years of playing intoxicated during shows, Steele admits it’s been his own faults that have held the band back from achieving great success. Running into trouble with the law 5 months ago, Steele is now sobering up and kicking the use of drugs in order to make amends with the group.

“I’ve made it a point to come sober and hopefully stay sober,” says Steele,47, who’s had troubles in the past coping with addiction. “I’ve done a lot of stupid things when I was drunk and high and I regret that.”

Having formed the group in 1989, Steele is the bassist, vocalist and songwriter of the heavy-metal quartet. Creating the group from a previous project known as Carnivore, a thrash-metal band from the mid to late ‘80s, Steele and his childhood friend Josh Silver formed Type O with previous experience in the industry. Silver, having past experience as a keyboardist for a metal group known as Fallout, went on to create Silver Records where he learned how to engineer recordings. Producing records in his private studio for other groups, he began a name for himself as he helped get Type O into the national spotlight in 1992 with a faux live album titled The Origin of the Feces.

Now, with 20 years of experience playing together, Type O has 7 full length studio albums including one platinum record (Bloody Kisses, 1993) and one gold album (October Rust, 1996). Coming out amidst a new wave of gothic influence in pop culture, Bloody Kisses put Type O over the top in terms of success.

“Bloody Kisses was a landmark album,” said Steele. “I consider it to be our first album because Slow, Deep and Hard was actually left over Carnivore songs.”

Leaving Roadrunner Records in 2005 and signing with the German metal label SPV, Type O released a live DVD titled Sympathy for the Devil in 2006. They followed the DVD with their latest album, Dead Again, in 2007. Reaching the highest rating of all their albums, the new release hit number 27 on the U.S. billboard top 200 for the year. With the optimistic look towards another album, SPV hit a hang up as it filed for insolvency this past summer (similar to America’s chapter 11 bankruptcy in the U.S.). No longer under contract with the record label, the company is still talking to Type O claiming they’d like to work with them.

“We’re going to sign a deal with somebody,” said drummer and vocalist Johnny Kelly. “If it’s [SPV] we just hope they put their best foot forward.”

Currently looking for a new label to sign with, there’s still uncertainty as to where it will come from. “We met with some people last night,” said drummer Johnny Kelly, 41, of Staten Island. “Right now we’ve got to find what the right home for Type O [is] and then we’ll go from there.”

Still hopeful about the future of Type O, the members of the group have taken on other jobs as they await their front man’s next move. With Steele moving from Brooklyn to Pennsylvania to escape his unwanted fame of being a rock star, the other three members have grown to accept that they need to occupy themselves with something to do in the mean time. Throughout the past 20 years, Type O has been known to take upwards of four year breaks in between records. Josh Silver, 47, currently lives on the same street where he grew up with Steele and lead guitarist for Type O Kenny Hickey. With a wife and 2 children, Silver has decided to take a different approach to the hiatus of the band.

In a press release from mid October this year, Josh announced he currently has been attending school for certification as a paramedic. Being in the heart of the program, he was unable to tour with the band during their October Tour for the first time in the 20 year history. The press release stated that “Josh remains a member of Type O Negative and will continue working with the band going forward.”

“Josh has kids and a family,” said Steele. “If I was him, I wouldn’t wait around for me either.”

Also needing to support their families, members Kelly and Hickey have put together a heavy metal group known as Seventh Void. Being produced by Big Vin Records, the group’s first album was released in April, 2009. Keeping busy over the past 5 years is nothing new for Kelly and Hickey who have toured either together or individually for groups such as Danzig and a Led Zeppelin tribute band called Earl’s Court.

Having over 15 years experience touring Europe and the states, Type O has touched the lives of many people around the world. For the past 9 years, countless followers have dedicated their time to an online forum at Typeonegative.net to discuss everything and anything in relation to the band. Many people discuss what they would like to see change and also stay the same with the future of the group. The key concern on most people’s mind is Steele’s health.

“They’re stellar musicians with enough life experience to inspire another album,” said Michael Effertz, 22, Minneapolis, MN. “Provided Peter can stay clean and win back the trust of his fellow band members.”

Playing hockey in the street together as children, all the members of Type O have known one another since they were kids. It’s that perseverance that has allowed the members to overcome their troubles and continue to record new material, said 7-year fan Matthew Politi, 24, Howell, NJ.

Switching over to a more “jam session” like album, Type O’s latest album has brought something new to dedicated fans. According to sputnikmusic.com, Dead Again is comprised of elusive guitar riffs, solos, haunting lyrics, psychedelic sounds and a dark dirty bass foundation. Allowing other band member’s talents to stand-out a bit more, Steele has taken a step back from the spotlight bringing Hickey’s guitar into more solos and free rhythm.

“I’d like to see them divert back to their past style – not that I don’t like their newest album,” said Jeffrey Gray, 29 of Roan Mountain, TN. “I would welcome change from Type O.”

Like Gray, other fans suggest a change for Type O. Few suggest they move to more of a moody goth-driven sound such as what was found on October Rust. Others want to hear a more ‘80s like punk sound with the new material.

Some members of Type O frequent the online forum, reading and responding to fans’ posts.

“I think they shouldn’t really complain so much,” said Kelly. “There’s a bunch of whiners on there and they’ll always complain about something.”
Referring to a topic posted only a couple months ago, Kelley says he wishes he has the five minutes of his life back after reading a bunch of fans accusing peter of drinking on stage during the October Tour.

“Right now Peter’s sober,” said Kelly. “He’s giving 110 percent every night and they’re still complaining ‘what’s he drinking?’ If they had it all figured out, why aren’t they all in bands [and] touring the world?”

For Steele, being sober is like being addicted to life. He sees the world completely different and for the past few months he says he hasn’t felt numb. As for his past, “if I could change one thing, personally, I [wish] I had gotten closer to my faith sooner," said Steele.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/nikolaskolenich/

Darcie's Note: There are a few incorrect items in this piece, but they are too minor to point out. Hope you enjoyed.

Ask & You Shall Receive ...

2011-09-19T04:00:00.000-04:00

So I guess someone is reading this blog ... ha ha ... We have big thanks to Megan Tones, Josianne Vassallo & Paul Lockwood who pulled out their Decibel magazine copies and sent me jpgs.... You Guys Rock !

I'm loading these pages & hoping like heck that you can make them larger on your page to read the article. Thanks to Decibel for running this piece with some interesting pics of Peter.

Student Has Best Halloween Ever

2011-09-17T08:42:00.002-04:00

I Want to Thank Kent State University Photojournalism Student Nikolas Kolenich for Sharing This Story & Photo From the Concert With the Love Of Pete Community:

I love this shot ! Gorgeous !

I may not have been the last person to speak to Peter Steele, but I was his last interview at a show. I was attending Kent State University in the fall of '09 as a photojournalism student when I contacted Johnny for a media pass. As a huge fan of the band for over 6 years at the time, I was stoked to be in a position to finally meet the group... or so I thought. I emailed their record label and was issued two passes, one for the Cleveland show and one more for the Detroit show. I was using the group for my final news writing story
as well as my visual storytelling final. Both classes were requirements to graduate, so this was much more than capitalizing on meeting the group, this was also a grade.

The Cleveland show went off without a hitch. The venue, House of Blues, is rather small and not easy to photograph in. I wasn’t allowed backstage, but luckily my friend Karen McBride got me a VIP pass at the end of the show. I was trying to stay calm, compose myself and stay out of the way while I was in the dressing rooms. Kenny passed me and gave me a guitar pick, I was given a set list from a lighting guy and then I finally walked into Type Os room. Having followed the group for a few years with tours, I already had signatures – just not Peter’s. That night was the first time I met the man. He was upbeat, witty and very pleasant. I barely had enough room in my camera bag before leaving home to stuff anything extra in it, but I managed to get my Life is Killing Me t-shirt in there. All the faces were signed, but Pete’s and that night he autographed it for me. I left the room in a hurry, as it was late and I had class in the morning. Peter was walking out of the dressing room on his way to sign merchandise when he realized he didn’t have a marker. I overheard him and threw him mine. He said “thank you, brother” and walked into a sea of fans.

A couple weeks later I’m in Detroit, MI, for the final show. At the time no one knew it, but I was seeing it just as important. Again, my news writing grade was riding on an interview and so I came prepared
with a small slip of paper in my bagged packed with questions and my cell phone for audio. I managed to work up the courage to follow Peter into the dressing room in Detroit. Harpo’s is a mess and with security being lax, it wasn’t too tough. I was polite, confident and professional, but once we sat down – I was giddy and uncontrollably goofy. The man gave me a solid 10 minutes plus of his time. He was nothing as I suspected. Loving the group since high school and having been denied his autograph in 2007, I wasn’t sure I’d like him. Low and behold, he turned out to be one of the most humble individuals I have ever met. He asked me more questions about my life than I got to ask him. We chewed the fat for quite some time after the recorder was off and I left feeling amazing. I interviewed Johnny directly after Peter and was officially in for the night. I watched my favorite musicians [but no Josh] through the lens for an hour and a half, all while remembering I had a golden nugget of Peter and I talking on my phone for when I got home.

The story I wrote for my final was the best grade I’d gotten for the class all year. I poured countless hours and lots of emotion into the 1,500 word article. It covered the bands rich history as well as the hopeful future. I can say with all sincerity, the paper was positive and focused on Peter trying his hardest on rebuilding his promise to the fans. He was dedicated to getting back on track. He loved what he did [making music] and wanted nothing more than play on forever. Type O Negative’s music will live on in my heart forever. I listen to them weekly and constantly use the songs and lyrics to get through bad times. I cannot begin to type the proper thank you that I feel. All I can say is that I am absolutely amazed at how much one person can do with his songs to shape another person’s life.

I’m grateful to have met Peter and will never forget Halloween 2009.

New Yawkers Think They Are Multi-lingual ...

2011-09-16T04:00:00.001-04:00

FLOWERS FOR PETER STEELE

Every once in a while someone tags me in FB or

sends pictures to the blog email that SAY IT ALL

This beauty is from Mary Wolfe

who is graciously allowing me to post on the blog.

********

Good Short Video from 1994

Love the way Peter fakes his way through speaking Russian

Thanks to Jayne Keegan for posting on FB

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OHMwF9qxFPM&feature=related

Peter always loved the phrase,

"New Yawkers think they are multi-lingual

because they can curse you out in every language."

2011-09-15T04:00:00.001-04:00

In my line of work, I sometimes have the pleasure of working with celebrity artists, actors and musicians. While traveling with them on local tours, I get an opportunity to ask them questions and many times we talk about their home lives. I'm always surprised when a musician will say that he or she never plays for their own family. In fact, I'm saddened when I hear that. The excuse usually is something like this: " I spend so much time playing on the road and working on new songs in my studio, that when I get home, I don't want to touch the instruments." How awful for those people's families that their musician/artist doesn't share that side of themselves.

That's not how it was with Peter Steele. While he did want to decompress after a tour and NOT talk about the stage, he DID share songs, melodies, ideas with his family and friends. In fact, when he was younger it was common to be asked by Pete if we wanted to go to Norm's Music (on the highway) or stop in to Sam Ash music store. It was a great couple of hours of time, with Peter checking out the latest equipment, while catching up with the shop people, many of whom were musicians themselves.

And, we were never bored when we went to these music stores with him. He would pick up instruments, give a little instruction on how to use them, and before you knew it, we had an impromptu jam session going with a couple of the shop guys and Peter trying out different instruments. I remember being shown how to play the "cow bell" and shown how to tap on it at precisely the right time. (yes, anyone can play it)

Or, back at home, where my family was musically-inclined, there was always an opportunity to play music, sing along or just listen as Peter played the piano or hooted on the Tuba for his mom and the rest of the clan.

If you play an instrument or sing, please remember that playing in front of your family creates memories. So, down the road when one of your kids or cousins is writing a blog (or whatever it will be called years from now), they can conjure up memories of how fantastic it was to be submerged in music all the time. The creative process is a wonderous thing ... include your family and friends in it ... you'd be amazed at the impact it has on their lives.

If I could send a message to the artists I've worked with ... it would be this one thing. I know you are tired from the road. I know you just want to get your normal life back ... but please ... play your guitar for your kids ... they will thank you for it ... if only on their blog.

+++++++++++++++++++++++

I remember one time I was meeting with Carlos Santana at the Four Seasons in Manhattan. It was just after TON covered a few Santana songs: Evil Ways, Oye Como Va, and Black Magic Woman. I had just a few minutes to talk over breakfast with him and I asked him what he thought of Type O Negative covering his songs. Surprisingly, he said he remembered the TON version because it had a haunting sound and it was one of the better more interesting covers he had heard. I told Peter about that meeting with Santana. I remember how he smiled, showing his vampire teeth in a boyish way (if it's possible to be a boyish vampire) and he hummed Oye Como Va as he asked me more about my meeting with Santana. (By The Way, Carlos plays for his family when he is home. )

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IPNF5PkDGCY

Decibel Hall Of Fame

2011-09-14T07:57:00.000-04:00

I came across this photo when a friend of the blog sent it to me. After much search for the article that related to the photo, this is the only thing I could find (without paying for the entire back issue).

Check out Decibel's "Hall of Fame" with Type O Negative “Bloody Kisses”

The latest inductee: [No. 65]

The making of Type O Negative’s “Bloody Kisses”

After burying Brooklyn under the dense power-dirge cacophony of 1991’s Slow, Deep and Hard and then recording most of the album over again as a fake live set for 1992’s The Origin of the Feces—complete with Jimi Hendrix cover and a close-up of bassist/vocalist/mastermind Pete Steele’s rotten sphincter—Type O Negative decided to get almost serious. Or at least as almost-serious as Type O could ever be expected to get.

As such, Steele (who was still working for the NYC Parks Department), guitarist Kenny Hickey, drummer Sal Abruscato and producer/keyboardist Josh Silver descended upon Systems Two in Brooklyn to record the album that would propel them into the bright lights and big titties of international rock stardom. Originally released on August 17, 1993, at the tail end of New York City Mayor David Dinkins’ “gorgeous mosaic” of race riots and unemployment, Bloody Kisses offered both a response to the controversy that had enveloped Type O’s debut and an enhanced pop sensibility.

Born in Alphabet City’s long-gone goth clubs, the 73-minute opus featured infectious doom-pop epics (“Black No. 1,” “Christian Woman”), sarcastic hardcore screeds (“Kill All the White People,” “We Hate Everyone”), bizarre noise interludes (“Fay Wray Come Out and Play,” “Dark Side of the Womb,” “3.0.I.F”) and a cover of Seals & Crofts’ “Summer Breeze” that somehow managed to be both lush and beefy. As the band spent two years touring with the likes of Mötley Crüe, the Exploited, Queensrÿche and Danzig, the album went gold on the strength of “Black No. 1” and “Christian Woman”—not to mention Steele’s fully erect appearance in (and on) the August 1995 issue of Playgirl magazine.

By the time his well-publicized boner presumably receded, Type O had a certified platinum record on their hands. Sandwiched between a photo of two green lesbians in the throes of simulated passion and that unforgettable slogan/warning “Don’t mistake lack of talent for genius,” Bloody Kisses remains the diamond in Type O’s extensive back catalogue, and one of the most elaborate revenge records of all time. —J. Bennett

Full site article: http://www.decibelmagazine.com/hall-of-fame/typeonegative/

Cut Off From The World

2011-09-13T04:00:00.002-04:00

Originally Posted on Peter Steele's 13 Casketcrew FB page

I think you can tell from Peter's Carnivore days that he was a fierce proud American. His father fought in WW2, his uncles in Korea. When American soldiers or National Guardsmen came to see him off stage, he would always salute them, thank them for the amazing service they provide and give them his phone number to call him if they ever needed anything.

In fact, when Peter talked to his sister Patricia about being at ground zero on 9-11, he was horrified for her. Upset that Americans could be attacked on our own soil. Horrified that his brother-in-law was missing for hours and grateful to know that his sister wasn't one of the victims on that sorrowful day.

He was worried too. Worried that WW 3 had started. As the words from his song echoed in his head, he wondered what people of the world could be thinking that they'd allow so much hate for others to dictate their lives and lead them into killing so many innocent people.

Peter's neice Marie remembers the day she thought she lost her mother:

I got a phone call at 8:47am ... It was my mom, Pat. She worked across the street from the World Trade Center. She was standing outside her office building on her cellphone. She asked me, "Is there a ticker tape parade today?" I said, I don't think so, why? "Well," she said, "there are little bit's of paper flying through the air. It's so strange." I told her I'd turn on the tv and see what's up. Then I'd call her back.

I switched on the news station and I couldn't believe my eyes. The live camera showed a plane hitting the Towers. My heart fell out of my chest. My mom was walking right into disaster and she didn't know it. I tried to call her back, but the call didn't go through. Again, and again I called. Busy. Busy. Busy. I couldn't get through to her. I felt like she was cut off from the world.

Then, it all started. My phone rang. My aunts were calling to see if I heard from my mom. If anyone had heard from my Uncle Robert who worked next to the Towers. Peter called to ask if I heard from my mom or Robert. "I can't get in touch with her, Pete," I told him sobbing. " I don't know where she is." Peter choked back tears and told me to call him as soon as I got word. As I'm writing this, I don't even remember where he was at the time. If he was in town, he would have ran to the towers to find my mother and his brother in law. I felt so alone ... I just sat there and cried.

Thankfully, we found our mother and my uncle Robert eventually got home. But, we know countless people who never made it home. Peter was friendly with numerous cops and firefighters so he has always been thankful for the courage it took to run into the falling towers to try to save people.

It was a horrible, horrendous day. One I never want to relive. One that we can never forget.

The Didgeridoo In The Corner

2011-09-12T04:00:00.001-04:00

Photo from Stubble Magazine

I have to thank one of our blog friends, Alexandra whose keen eye reminded us of an instrument that Peter's sister Patricia gave him a few years ago for Christmas.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/bombingcooper/4295850165/in/photostream/

Pat says that she bought the instrument for Peter because he loved to learn new things. No matter what instrument Peter picked up, he could teach himself how to play it. He practiced with it and said he loved the way it made these super-bass sounds. Unfortunately, the instrument didn't come with a a manual or instructions, but Peter loved to pick it up and play with it from time to time. He kept it in his livingroom and enjoyed showing people what this interesting instrument could do. Sometime between the time LTAN was filmed and Peter's death, the instrument disappeared from the apt.

We don't believe he used the instrument for any of the albums. But it would have been really cool to see him use it onstage.

Wikipedia notes:
The didgeridoo (also known as a didjeridu or didge) is a wind instrument developed by Indigenous Australians of northern Australia around 1,500 years ago and still in widespread usage today both in Australia and around the world. It is sometimes described as a natural wooden trumpet or drone pipe.
There are no reliable sources stating the didgeridoo's exact age.

Sound Clips: http://www.didgeridoostore.com/soundsrhythms.html

Take Me With You

2011-09-10T01:17:00.000-04:00

Today's Artwork is by Elizabeth Steele

I hope you can read the inscription on the artwork

***

TY Alexandra for sharing this intimate poem with us.

I heard your voice, I heard your words, you kept me safe.
I was young, felt out of place.
You were there in my headphones helping me find my path.
I loved you as you were, from a far distance, how else?
You were a million miles away, you never knew I existed.
I grew up, became a woman. Got married and gave birth to three beautiful children.
You were there but so far away. I loved you, wanted to tell you about it all.
My husband abused me infront of the children, I wanted to die.
Thought to myself, I´ll see you on the other side.
I heard your voice, heard your words and came back.
You wouldn´t let me leave, you were a million miles away.
I thought, another time and another life.
Left the husband, brought the children with me.
Listened to your words, your voice, alone but safe.
Thought to myself; someday I will.
One day my heart broke in to a million pieces.
They said you had died, refused to believe you are gone.
Went back to the husband, he got nice, treated the family with respect.
Authorities came, took the children away, brought me to a shelter.
Family turned away, friends turned away.
I´m alone, can hear your voice, can hear your words.
Where are you? Why didn’t you wait?
I have nothing else. Let me go with you.
Please come back for me, take me with you.
Please don´t go, I need to tell you something; it´ll take a lifetime.
Stay. I love you, even when everything dies.
You were never alone, I was there.
All the time.

***

A big Thanks to Gayle for picking out her favorite video from headbangers ball:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HZ-HR6fBuzg

Irish Keeping TON Alive

2011-09-09T04:00:00.003-04:00

So, when I asked if TON could be copied successfully, I got a couple of good responses. Comparisons aside, because you know we are partial when it comes to Peter's voice and music. I do not post this to cause ridicule. I post this because Peter would be bewildered that tribute bands exist. And the type of person that he was, he would have shown up at a "Bloody Kisses" show, paid full price to support musicians. (though I can't imagine what he would have shouted from the audience). Besides Bloody Kisses in Ireland, I know of another tribute in Staten Island. Here is what one of our For The Love Of Pete Steele family has written:

It is with the utmost respect and honour when my friends and I get onto a stage to play Pete's music to his loyal fans. We don't make money from it - it's not about money - it's about paying our respects as 4 massive TON fans and to keep Pete's music alive and played loudly and live - the way it's supposed to be! You can read a review of one of the shows here; http://www.metalireland.com/2011/08/21/bloody-kisses-honey-for-christ-mourning-of-the-heretic-live-review/ Or search for Bloody Kisses tribute on youtube if you are interested. Pete is always in our hearts and is the reason we do this! Chris

By Christian Stynes

Thanks Chris for keeping the music alive with your own twist on Peter's musical legacy. Remember, imitation is flattery. Please support Christian by checking out the video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X_jBpAPLWSI

****

Thanks to Chris for finding this Autumn Eyes Cover on Youtube

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UosBwFeTzx4&feature=youtube_gdata_player

****

Thanks to Alexandra for turning us onto Otto's daughter - the song is "Peter"
It's a tribute song in memory of him
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yErlltWm7bk

Could You Cover TON?

2011-09-08T04:00:00.001-04:00

So, dear friends, it seems that lots of bands are using October to do cover songs of TON or dedication songs to Peter. I'm hoping that the sentiment is genuine and not a marketing ploy. I'm sure there is going to be a little of both in the coming years. I'd be interested in seeing what Johnny and Kenny have been doing on tour to bow their heads to a lost brother. Any tidbits from you all about this would be appreciated. I haven't seen their band yet, so I'd like to know more.

Also, I haven't heard it and I couldn't find it online, but a band called "Autumns Eyes" is doing a cover of "Love You To Death." I'd be interested to hear how Peter's voice and range is handled. If you happen to find it, please post in the comments and I'll post on the blog for all to discover together.

Here is the link to the site for details: http://www.smnnews.com/2011/09/07/autumns-eyes-reveals-new-album-please-deceive-me-details/

Not sure if I've shared this before, but MTV posted a rememberance. See a little excerpt:

Whenever people in music die prematurely, critics ponder who they really were and whether their art was a true reflection of their inner selves. Inevitably, if they wrote angry or heavy songs, they're described as "complex." It's practically a cliché, yet it probably best sums up Steele — complex and contradictory. Steele wasn't a simple guy. He was articulate, well read and intelligent. But it sometimes seemed like that's not the side he wanted his fans to see. He'd mention his admiration for the historical figure Rasputin and then make poop jokes in the same breath. He often talked about how he was just an average Joe from Brooklyn whose happiest days were back when he worked picking up garbage for the New York City Department of Parks & Recreation.

http://www.mtv.com/news/articles/1637149/peter-steele-type-o-negative-remembrance.jhtml

Warm Beer - Lousy Food

2011-09-07T00:14:00.000-04:00

Marie and I were talking the other day about some of the places Peter took us when we were teenagers so that we would get an opportunity to enjoy the nightlife. We'd go to Zappa's ... L'Amours ... he'd drop us off at Roller Palace ... but the one place we all enjoyed in Brooklyn which doesn't exist anymore was billed as "Warm Beer & Lousy Food ... The Crazy Country Club."

I don't know why anyone wrote a book about the place, but if you are interested check out: http://www.amazon.com/Warm-Beer-Lousy-Food-Country/dp/1440171750

Peter brought us there for the first time in the early 90s, telling the girls to make sure we wore skirts so we'd look older. Little did we know that the joke was on us, because the moment you walked though the door, a wind machine on the floor blew your skirt up and all the bouncers laughed at you.

We remember being there with Peter and his then girlfriend Donna (later his wife). While Marie, my cousins and Donna went to the ladies room, I sat at the table with Peter as he ordered up some greasy dishes. All of the sudden over the loud speaker you could hear Donna and Nancy bitching about someone. Then you heard the toilet flush, girls talking about their hair and who the ugly guy at the next table was. They didn't know it and Peter didn't tell them that the place was rigged with a microphone in the bathrooms. When they came to the table, they didn't understand why we were laughing at them and why people were pointing.

The place was a dive ... but they didn't proof anyone. Though the place was called a country club, I never heard anything but comedians, metal and hardcore.

The Crazy Country Club was one of Peter's favorite places to go. He would find out what comedians were there and then invite a crew to a night out. It was one of our favorite memories of being with Pete.

Btw, Don't you love that photo ?

The Call of the Pig

2011-09-06T04:00:00.004-04:00

I've said it here before that you guys have a huge responsibility to your younger family members and your friend's kids. We are the influencers ... the ones that introduce the younger generation to new music, take them out to see their first band in a club, show them that being a music geek is a great thing. It all comes down to you to be the cool aunt, uncle, mother, father in your family. The one who seems to know everything. The one with an ipod filled with undiscovered new sounds.

Who will Danny, Siobhan, Victoria, Sammi, Toria, Antonio, Kara and Tristan get their musical influences from in our family ... the next generation of cousins don't have a "Peter" to depend on. Maybe James (whose is a successful musician in his own right) or Sara (a band photographer) will influence these teens ... or maybe cousins Brian, Michelle, Kerry or Marie will plan out the concerts and get them interested in new music.

Ever since I was young, Pete would supply the new music to listen to. I remember the first time Peter took us to the midnight movie in Greenwich Village to see The Wall. I was out with his friends and my cousin Nancy. Peter bought buckets of popcorn with soda and Hershey bars. It was so much fun being out with the big kids and then having an opportunity to talk about the film and listen to the music with people much older than me.

When I wasn't being introduced to mainstream music, Peter would come back from seeing bands or touring the country with music for us to listen to. He'd call out his favorite pig noise, saying, "here kiddy piggies" and we'd race over to him to see what he had. I remember being given White Zombie to listen to, as well as Twisted Sister, Biohazard, Agnostic Front, Cro-Mags, Crumbsuckers, Urban Waste, Sheer Terror.

The last time I saw him at his sister's house, Peter told me he had a box of cds for me to look through and share with the cousins. He said he met lots of talented artists and got reacquainted with musicians from the past that he thought he'd like to tour with again. That box of cds is sitting at my aunt's apt waiting for us to pick through. But it's not the same. The sound of Pete's pig call and his comments about the individuals who handed him the cds were always priceless.

***************
Finally, a little recognition from press to compare TON's "Unsuccessfully Coping With the Natural Beauty of Infidelity" with other bands songs about similar subjects:

http://www.thedailyrock.com/2011/09/05/converge%E2%80%99s-%E2%80%98jane-doe%E2%80%99-turns-10/

A Labor Day of Love

2011-09-05T01:24:00.000-04:00

This photo is great

Here in America, we set aside a federal day to honor 'laborers' with a holiday always landing on the first Monday of September. It also signifies the end of Summer (Pete Sr. and my favorite time of the year) and the coming of Fall (Peter's and Nettie's favorite).

If you are working today, I'm sorry to hear that. For the rest of you all, enjoy the last of your BBQs, block parties, beach days ... no one hated going back to school more than Pete. From the first day that school let out for Summer, he'd have a countdown of the number of hours till we had to go back to school.

Here's something to check out when you have some free time. A band called Voyager released an album called "The Meaning of I." Their song, "Iron Dream" was written about Peter. See this review. If anyone can find a youtube of them doing this song, please post it in comments. Thanks.

http://metaldelirium.net/voyager-the-meaning-of-i/

Nettie Kept Peter In the China Cabinet

2011-09-03T03:33:00.000-04:00

Some of you complained that if you don't have gmail you aren't able to leave a comment with your name. The easiest way to do it is to go to the comments section. Pull down on the tab to reveal several ways to leave a message with your name. If you choose the one that indicates what "name and url" just put your name in and leave the URL empty. Then, when you leave a message it will show whose leaving it... this way, there is no need for anonymous comments ... Hope this blogger 101 helps.

Thank You to Terri Spray from Indianapolis Indiana for this doll.

The box it was found in was post marked 4/3/2000.

This Peter doll is the largest of 3 that the family knows of, with the artist sending several to Nettie several years before.

Nettie gave 1 to daughter Patricia. Peter's girlfriend Lisa has a small version. Peter took this one from his home on East 18th Street with him and eventually put into his sister Nancy's coffin when she died.

Ready - Aim - Friar

2011-09-02T04:00:00.007-04:00

Personally, I think Josh is too scruffy here,

but this is one of my fav pics of Pete

Always a thinker, Peter Steele not only rattled off some of these phrases in his music, but he's been known to use them in everyday conversations. Sometimes if you talked with him long enough, you'd learn about how math and science are intertwined, or you'd get your vocabulary word of the day. Peter's sister Patricia thought you'd like to have a glimpse into an everyday conversation with Pete. This is why kids loved him. He loved to answer their "why questions" because he enjoyed finding out himself.

Today's word could be: Technocratic

Fibonacci numbers: By definition, the first two Fibonacci numbers are 0 and 1, and each subsequent number is the sum of the previous two: 0,1,1,3,5,8,13,21,34,55,89,144 Fibonacci numbers are connected with the golden ratio, & appear in biological settings such as branching in trees, arrangement of leaves on a stem, the fruit spouts of a pineapple, the flowering of artichoke, an uncurling fern and the arrangement of a pine cone.

Zoanthropic: A kind of monomania in which the patient believes himself transformed into one of the lower animals.

Lupine (Characteristic of or resembling a wolf; Rapacious; ravenous).

Avagadro’s number (constant) In chemistry and physics,constant is defined as the ratio of the number of entities (usually atoms or molecules) in a sample to the amount of substance. Thus it is the proportionality factor that relates the mass per amount of substance, to the mass of the entity, and it has the value 6.02214179(30)×1023 mol-1.

Also, Pat found a few more Peter-isms that are worth a mention. Many of you have been gracious enough to include your own favorites in your FB posts and comments here. What do you think of these:

Faith Lift

Concentration Campers

Re-Erection

Praise the Lured

The Gardeners of Eden

Boston, Masspsychosis

Deaf Penalty

Denmark 1997 Interview with Josh and Peter:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8JRgo8O7_LE

My Record Collection Pauses Mid 1980s

2011-09-01T04:00:00.002-04:00

OK, DVR alert. Do you like the TV show Cops? Do you like Vampires, Werewolves & Zombies? Then you have to watch the new series on MTV called "Death Valley" which is a combo of blood, gore, stupid humor, keystone cops and our favorite monsters. I could see Peter watching this show and thought I'd share this with you all:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UQKOYw4vi1Y

THRASHTHRASHTHRASHTHRASH

Thought I'd share a small article from THRASH Magazine that was sent to me recently from a friend of this blog. Thank you for sharing:

A year ago today, Petrus T. Ratajczyk, or as we know him by his stage name Peter Steele, came to a very unfortunate end at the age of 48. Susbtance abuse and alcohol addiction plagued his health until attending rehab because of family intervention in 2005. After years of sobriety, and improved health Peter Steele passed away due to hearth failure on April 14, 2010. The Metal community suffered a mighty blow.

Peter Steele's bass-baritone vocals and lyric composition focusing on topics such as depression, addiction, romance, and death combined with such powerful and moving instrumental work made Type O Negative a defining force in Gothic/Doom Metal, earning them a large following around the world. In my opinion still nowhere near the amount of attention and praise Type O Negative rightfully deserves.

I'm writing this article in remembrance of a true musician, to honor the legend we were robbed of who still had a long successful path ahead of him in his career. Rest in peace, hope you are enjoying your "Halloween in Heaven" with Dimebag Darrell.

http://thrashmag.com/articles/content.aspx?id=12696

131313131313 131313131313 131313131313 131313131313

Also, Lisa Rose's article in NJ.com offers TON videos too. Here are some highlights from that article:

"People don't get the joke, which is that we think we're the joke," said Steele, 38, on the phone from a Cleveland tour stop.

(Peter Steele) The singer lambastes rap-metal and said his record collection pauses at the mid-1980's.

"I think all recent music sucks, and that includes Type O Negative," Steele deadpanned.

For the full article, please visit:

http://www.nj.com/entertainment/music/index.ssf/2010/04/peter_steele_the_humor_behind.html

Past Discussions Come to Mind

2011-08-31T04:00:00.001-04:00

The last few days have been amazing watching the news and seeing all the flooding up and down the East Coast. During the course of these days, we saw bridges washed out, streets flooded to the tops of pole signs and the devastation that homes had gone through with rising waters near flood zones.

It brought me back to a conversations I had with Peter not too long ago. It reminded me of conversations in the past we had together. And, like everyone who really knew Peter could attest, he liked to talk about everything. Math, theories, science, art, mechanics, physics ... you name it and you could have a long thoughtful discussion with him.

To give you an idea of what these conversations could be like:

One day, we were talking about how all cars have motorized windows now. You never see the crank windows. Peter and I were talking about the possibly usefullness of those types of windows. He pondered whether crank windows would be more useful than motorized if perhaps we drove into a lake or drove into a flood zone. With a crank window, even if the car's motor seized, you could still crank the window and climb through the window to safety.

This of course led to if, for some reason, his father's 1970s car drove off a bridge, and hit the water, what would be the best way to escape the car. Would you be able to push the door open and jump out and away from the car plummeting into the ocean? This led to Peter using his mathematical mind to determine the speed of the car times the drop from the bridge, how many seconds you'd have to fling the door open and jump. Or, would it really matter because in the case of a bridge accident, would you just die on impact of the windshield shattering against the force of the car hitting the water.

I remember we discussed this for about an hour, as we figured out which scenario had the best outcome and whether or not it was possible, that if you had an old crank window car, that you could even open it under water. And, if you could open it, what would be the best way to do it ... a little at a time, or would you open it as fast as you could and escape through the window.

It's impossible to explain exactly what it was like to get into a conversation with Peter. It could seem like a trivial thing, but after an hour of talking about it, you ended up with a lesson in physics, a mathematic session and a serious discussion with a man who joked about most things ... except when it came to the matter of the logical mind.

We concluded that if you could keep a car that had crank windows -- it was a good thing for most scenarios -- except driving off a bridge.

It's a good reminder when I drive over the Brooklyn Bridge.

Lucky Number 13

2011-08-30T04:00:00.003-04:00

Since we had so much trouble with Blogger yesterday - with the blog wiped from existence - today's post is a bit of a trial as the wheels get turning on blogger again.

Some fans have asked about Peter's preoccupation with the number 13. From what we've been told by Peter, it comes from a number of things ... of course, as we meantioned in the past, Peter's love of The Munsters (1313 Mockingbird Lane) ... and there's always the idea of the "unlucky number 13." It's interesting to note that in many buildings there is no 13th floor -- something that never escaped Peter's notice.

FearNet posted their top 13 songs/videos that readers indicated where their favorites for their spooky content. They noted one of TON's songs ... see below for an excerpt from A WEREWOLF'S PLAYLIST:

Another icon taken from us too soon, Peter Steele had a unique way with macabre subject matter: behind his ominous bass-baritone voice and brooding stare hid a sly sense of humor and a true empathy for the outsider, making his songs about creatures of the night (both real and imagined) feel inviting and openly sexual. At the helm of his gothic metal band Type O Negative, Steele's only direct approach to the werewolf tale is in this piece from their classic album October Rust, which draws a direct connection between monthly wolf transformation and the menstrual cycle – a theme which would become central to the classic horror film Ginger Snaps. It's also a deeply romantic piece, whose protagonist wants to either cure or partake of his doomed partner's "curse" before a silver bullet ends their love forever.

To find out what other bands were named in this playlist, see link below:
http://www.fearnet.com/news/b23654_savage_beats_2_werewolf_playlist.html

Diehard Romantic Posing

2011-08-29T10:33:00.001-04:00

Here are excerpts from a "lost interview" with Peter for The Aquarian during the October Rust release. Enjoy:

~ by John Fortunato, May 11, 2010 The Aquarian

Courtesy of Mark Weiss from the article that ran in The Aquarian

"When I find myself useless by my own standards, I'll take my life. I will take a swan dive off the World Trade Center hopefully on top of someone I hate, " Type O Negative's Peter Steele quipped while promoting his greatest commercial accomplishment, '96's October Rust. Coming on the heels of '93's fascinating Goth-metal breakout, Bloody Kisses, this gloomy rhapsodic follow-up gave the band an East Coast stronghold fortified by Steele's naked Playgirl photos. But Steele never got to end his own life by way of his own hand, as jokingly promised.

You seem to be a diehard romantic affably posing as a loony psycho-killin' Goth rocker.
I am. The Goth term was thrust upon us by the media. People, in general, need to know where to put product. It's like trying to hammer a semi-cirular piece of wood into a circular hole. We kind of fit, but kind of don't.

Do you think because you're a big man with a deep baritone register that you'd have to contrast that image by being incurable romantic? Otherwise, you'd be exploiting what's obvious.
Ah, genetic engineering. I've always been very sensitive. That's always contrasted greatly with my physical appearance. Sometimes people are taken aback by the contrast--which I find pleasing. Someone who's big is expected to act a certain way. But when I act nice--I've become a good actor (insert sarcasm) --people are impressed.

You talk a lot about getting your heart broken in song.
Everyone does, though. Everyone gets screwed over. It's part of being young. I've had many different girlfriends. I prefer tall women so I don't have to bend down to kiss them because I have back problems. The incomplete evolution rears its ugly head. (laughter).

Is 'My Girlfriend's Girlfirned' based on a true romantic tryst?
First, there's the lesbian snicker. Then, there's the comically absurd statement that what people's beliefs are, and what the true situation may be. The song was actually based on a few true life experiences which turned out to be quite pleasant. There are no philosophical implications. It's purely flesh and fantasy. You definitely have to be up for (the menage a trios).

Check out the complete article:

http://www.theaquarian.com/2010/05/11/lost-interview-peter-steele-type-o-negative-circa-october-rust/

In Praise of Storms

2011-08-27T00:48:00.001-04:00

If you are on the East Coast of the U.S., you are probably sitting in your livingroom hoping like hell the house doesn't float away because of Hurricane Irene. If you are reading this, you are fortunate to have electric. Everyone else in the world ... enjoy this Saturday's edition of "For The Love Of Pete's Fans."

Kristen Rezendes writes:

Hello everyone-
I knew I was missing some photos from the night I saw TON in May 2008, so I combed my email and found that I had uploaded all the pics I took from my phone ( this place will not let you take a camera) into my email!

To my joy, I found this photo of Peter. I was front row at the fence, as you can see. Its kinda blurry because it was a phone, but you can see everything and its just such a cool photo!
I also have a photo of myself and Johnny, which I think I have shared with you before, but I also caught his autographed drum skin, which I posed with. It was a great night!

#####

This was shot by a mobile phone in Wacken 2007

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B6ZWSaa9W7o

Watch For The Eye Rolling

2011-08-26T04:00:00.003-04:00

You can only laugh when reporters interview Peter Steele and they don't know how to react when he's joking with them with a straight face. Listen to the very beginning of this piece where this poor little girl from MTV just doesn't know how to react to his opening statements.

What I like about this interview is Peter talks about why he writes music ... what he thinks about getting older ... "I want to be remembered as someone who has helped people with my songs."

It's a 7 minute interview from 1996 that I believe you will enjoy -- taking you into the weekend with some good words to remember.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AyW_eSteRgU

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

Here's a live cover of Paranoid. It a good way to end up the week. Turn it up !

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IlTWkoybG5w&NR=1

The Inspirations of Classical Music Gods

2011-08-25T04:00:00.004-04:00

Many of you have asked about the creative process of how Peter Steele formulated his songs. I think the only person to answer that question is Peter himself. As Josh, Sal and Johnny have noted, Peter would come into band rehearsals with songs in his heart, the sheet music prepared and the words in his head - any of his bandmates would have seen all that first hand. But it's what happens during these band rehearsals that formulates the songs.

Photo by: HardRock publisher Marc Villanova

posted by Lorraine Brenner

on Louie Montalvo's 13Casketcrew13 FB page

From the other side, alot of Peter's music came from feelings and life experiences that touched him so deeply. Remember, while he was a big, larger than life guy, just like his lyrics say, he was not made of Steele. There was a very sensitive, sentimental part of this big man that came to life when he took out a pencil and started writing.

Other times, Peter would get a subject in his head that he wanted to talk and debate about - like religion, sexuality, politics, death, life, hate, math - and he'd ask opinions to those around him. He would speak to his mother and father about these subjects. He'd debate his sisters about life's situations and then next thing you knew, what you were talking about with him becomes a song.

In Peter's musical education, there were many turning points that inspired him to take what he loved of rock music and classical music and combine it to his liking. From a teacher in H.S. to a music composition class in college, Peter learned that a song tells a story ... it has passion ... and it provokes some sort of emotion. Peter would come home from college with sheet music written for an orchestra, show it to his mother and play some of it on the piano. It was a great lesson for me when Peter explained how to read music and a bigger thrill to watch him play.

If you wondered why his songs were twice as long as "standard issue" songs, it's no accident. He loved the way classical music had various parts to it ... the different tempos ... the melody transitions ... and if you listen closely to Peter's music, you can hear the inspirations of classical music gods. He enjoyed creating songs that could run into each other, sometimes beginning the song with a thought, and trasitioning to a feeling, then winding it up with a realization. You can hear the story he's telling you.

It's an honored thing when a person can take a thought process and turn it into a song. That's why my family has so much respect and honor to songwriters because they can take a single thought and turn it into an amazing concert.

When we read the comments from you all, we see what an impact Peter Steele has had on your lives, your music, your relationships -- and in some cases, your own deep feeling and creative expressions.

[[[[[[[[[

So, back to you all. If you'd like to share a little bit of your song writing skills, please do so. I want this blog to be a place for sharing good vibes, deepest feelings, good news and life situations. Never have any regrets.

PS: I think it stands to mention that while any writings done by the Ratajczyk family on this blog are the property of the Ratajczyks, however, your artwork and your songwriting is of course, of your own rights. Please copywright your material before you put it up on the web. There are lots of poachers out there.

They Put You In a Wooden Box

2011-08-24T07:37:00.000-04:00

Written by one of Peter's niece's Marie:

We come from a family of singers. Peter Sr. had a deep baritone voice, quite possibly lower than his son. Nettie sang and danced, and all their siblings are singers, so music was encouraged in our family.

Every Wednesday night, most of the family would flock to Red Hook to visit our Aunt Helen and along the trip, we'd do what other families would do in the car -- we'd sing. Sometimes they were melodies on the radio. Sometimes they were tunes from Bing Crosby and Frank Sinatra ... they were usually songs that could be adapted to various octaves. Sometimes we'd practice tongue twisters -- sort of an old-fashioned rap -- and other times Nettie and Pete would tell stories about life when they were younger.

This next song was taught to us by the younger Peter - like a witch's bedtime story - it soon became a family favorite. I don't know where Peter originally heard this song, but we love it. Enjoy:

If you see a hearse go by
Then you know that you're next to die
They put you in a wooden box
Cover you over with dirt and rocks
And then it starts
The worms crawl in
The worms crawl out
Into your stomach
And out of your mouth
The worms crawl in
The worms crawl out
Eating your guts
And shitting them out

(-)

Check out this video from Toledo OH 2000

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=693I-s4TblM

Vampires Take Your Tonsils Out

2011-08-23T04:00:00.001-04:00

The beauty of being young is that you believe everything that is told to you by other kids, teenagers and adults. Then when you are a teenager, you believe nothing that adults tell you. It's an interesting cycle.

Thanks JANA for Sending me this sketch

When I was 7 years old, I had to get my tonsils out. I remember being told by my mother that it's a wonderful experience. You go to the hospital. You wear a pink gown. They put you to sleep and when you wake up, you will never have a bad sore throat again.

Nettie told me a great story about how all girls who get their tonsils out get to have their toe nails painted. They get to stay home from school with her. They get to watch cartoons on tv in bed. And you can eat all the ice cream you want.

I was thrilled to get my tonsils out. I was looking forward to it.

Then, Peter sat down with me and told me how the surgery is done

"First," he said "they put you in a pretty pink robe. Then you get wheeled into a big room with lots of strangers. Then they turn the lights out and they shine a huge light in your eye. Then they put this large tube down your throat and it sufficates you till you pass out. And then, the doctor is a Vampire. He doesn't use any tools to take your tonsils out. He bites your neck and rips out the tonsil with his large fangs. And then you wake up and spend the next year with a big hole in your neck where your tonsils used to be." He handed me a bulb of garlic and told me to bring it with me to the hospital.

So, I did what any little girl would do ... I cried all the way to the hospital holding onto my bulb of garlic. I cried when they wheeled me into the ER. I cried when they put this large thing over my nose. And I dreamed about being chased by a vampire through the ER with his fangs dripping with blood.

And when I got home and after I looked in the mirror to see if my throat was still there, Peter came into the livingroom to see how I was. He inspected my neck for puncture marks. I showed him that I still had the bulb of garlic with me from the hospital. He laughed, took the garlic from me and handed me a large McDonalds Vanilla Shake. I don't think he ever really understood how much I believed him about my surgery.

I have one thing to say ... Thanks Uncle Pete for scaring the shit out of me when I was a kid.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Thanks to Gwen Whyte for remembering this Peter phrase:

"At Your Cervix"

The Day Pete Invited Us Over For Pizza & Jack

2011-08-22T04:00:00.003-04:00

The great part about FB and the internet is getting back in touch with people who know you as a teenager. (Well, I guess that could be good and bad). Peter Steele's niece, Marie got a reminder recently from her high school friend Debbie about the day Peter invited them down to the basement to watch him create the inspiration for JACK DANIELS & PIZZA.

Summer of 1984

Tara, Marie and Debbie were hanging around at Nettie's, when Peter asked them if they wanted to see what he was doing in the basement. He invited the 3 girls downstairs to the kitchen area. He had the sink filled up with water, multiple canned tomatoes were open on the counter, and he had a microphone and a recording machine hooked up near the sink. The place was a mess with tomato pieces and sauce all over the counter. He looked like he was starting to cook something. But he wasn't.

He asked them did they know what Jack Daniels was and how badly it goes with Pizza. Peter started telling them about a time that he was hanging with his friends drinking and eating, until he felt the undeniable tell tale sign that the food and drinks were going to make a reappearance in the form of projectile vomiting. So, that day, he was trying to recreate the experience without having to deal with the hangover.

Peter told the girls to be very quiet. He started the recorder, put his fingers in his mouth and started to make retching noises. Then with the other hand, he grabbed crushed and whole tomatoes in his hand and poured it into the water-filled sink. Between the retching noise and the tomato dunks and water splashing, Peter would try to stifle a laugh.

It took several takes for Jack Daniels and Pizza to get recorded, because the girls couldn't stop squealing and Peter couldn't hold his laughter back. But it was fun ! They also did the recording in the bathroom too, dropping tomatoes and sauce into the toilet while holding the recording device nearby. Peter wanted to see if there was a difference between the sounds between the sink and the toilet. Of course, the girls had to try the retching too (but that didn't get into the recording). Peter used up lots of cans of tomatoes that day, and the kitchen was a watery red mess by the time they finished the recording.

Now, everytime Marie, Tara or Debbie hears the recording, they know they were there for the inspiration. And no one can even go near Jack Daniels without thinking about the afternoon they spent with Peter dropping tomatoes and making musical history.

Love You To Death

2011-08-20T04:00:00.001-04:00

Nice Lettering on this Tat from Robert

in Louisiana. Thanks for sharing

**************

A Big THANK YOU to Manuela (aka Dark Angel) (aka X-DA-X) for sharing this very personal story ... From The Netherlands :

Although I saw TON in concert 5 times I never got to meet Pete.

Nevertheless he's been a big part of my life for the past 18 years.

So here's my story, I hope you don't mind me sending it to you, I needed to write it down...

The year was 1993, I was 16 and I was hanging out with some friends at a local poolhall.

One of my friends walked in, handed me a cd and said "here, this is new and I think you'll like it!"

It was a black and green cover with 2 girls....

When I came home later that afternoon I ran upstairs to my room and put my cd-player on loud.

I listened to the album while reading the booklet. And I listened to it again, and again....

This was something I had never heard before.....

The music went from left to right, up and down and all the way around, amazing!

And that voice!! OMG!!! That voice would make any 16 yo girl melt....

The very next day I went to our local musicshop and bought anything I could find from TON.

Since that day TON has been and will always be my favorite band.

A love was born, never to die....

I have had my fair share of ups and downs in my life and music has always been there for support, to let steam off, to dream, to escape, everything.

I listen to a lot of bands and all kinds of music, here's a very short list of my favorite albums:

Type O Negative - Bloody Kisses / everything

Life Of Agony - River Runs Red

Alice In Chains - Dirt

Sisters Of Mercy - Floodland

Black Sabbath - Black Sabbath (TON covers are MUCH better though!!)

Pink Floyd - The Wall

My first reaction is always to grab a TON cd. It always fits perfectly, no matter what mood i'm in.

TON was there when i fell in love, when i was in a fight, when i was happy, or drunk, or stoned, or dreaming, or when i was depressed.

TON was there for me when my relationship ended after 4 years and i moved back home.

When I was 21 my father celebrated his birthday 2 days early. Normally we would never celebrate a birthday to early because we didn't wanna jinx it. However that year we did because in the following 3 weeks my parents had other obligations. His birthday was on a monday so we had a big party on saturday. And ofcourse we would joke around a bit, 'if anything happens tomorrow we at least had this party!' Little did we know then..

My boyfriend at the time and I came home around 4 o'clock in the morning. Only 4,5 hours later we were rudely awakened by this incredible annoying noise of the doorbell ringing constantly. It was my sister's boyfriend, we had to come with him because something happened to my father....

Only 15 minutes later we arrived at my parents house but by then my father was already dead of hart failure.

(you can imagine that I will never ever celebrate a birthday too soon again.)

I saw TON live 5 times in Holland and Belgium, sadly I never actually got to meet them.

I came very close 2 times but I missed my chance (which i still kick my own ass for!)

I even gave a heads up to whatever boyfriend I had at the time, if I get the opportunity then I will forget about everything and anyone else!

My current boyfriend, we have a serious relationship since 2003, was really scared the 2 times I went to festivals where TON was playing haha.

I love my man to death, he means everything to me but Pete has always been the prime example of 'The perfect man'!

Last year was a very bad year. On the 15th of february my best friend got the news that they're stopping her treatment for cancer, she died january 10th of this year. On the 26th of march my boyfriend lost his job because his company went belly up. On the 2nd of april 2 good friends lost their daughter, only 20 minutes after she was born. On the 12th of april my uncle died of cancer. And then came the news that Peter died..... I cried the rest of the day. For the next 3 months I listened to TON only. Even though I never met him, it still hurts... because he meant so much to me for 18 years. This year up until now has been mostly about reflecting and remembering, reading For the love of Pete Steele and thinking about friends and family, the ones that are gone but also the ones that are still here. There also was one good thing in 2010. My sister gave birth to her first daughter and my goddaughter. She's only 10 months old but I spoil her rotten hahaha.

For the past 18 years I have listened to TON on a weekly basis, sometimes a little less, sometimes a lot more.I don't think they will ever descent from the number 1 position on my list, I still love it as much as I did in 1993....

So thank you Peter for being a part of most of my life, rest in peace green man.

I will always love you to death and now it's halloween in heaven..... (I could go on and on with wordplay but I won't ;-p)

See you on the other side!

Thank you Ratajczyk family for sharing, please don't stop!

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Check out video for Profit of Doom on:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MfzOqZ9f4Jg

That's When It Sucks

2011-08-19T04:00:00.011-04:00

Sometimes you never really realize how much you miss someone till you actually reach for the phone to call them and you realize, shit, he's dead. Peter Steele is dead.

Pete's niece Nancy called me last night saying, "I just watched a Lon Chaney silent film with a midget who made believe he was a baby. All I could think of was THIS must be the film that inspired the Bugs Bunny episode with Baby Face Finster."

http://www.thewb.com/shows/looney-tunes/baby-buggy-bunny/4999f340-77ca-4736-b5a7-a212d9ca5b5b

As she was explaining the storyline, we both started giggling and said Bugs Bunny's line at the same time, "FINSTER ... Oh Finster Baby ...there you are you naughty baby ..."

Nancy went on to say she had to call someone who would understand and appreciate the story ... someone who loved the Bugs Bunny episode as much as she did.

I knew exactly when she said it, that I wasn't her first choice to call. As soon as I thought it, Nancy took the words right out of my mind and said, " Usually it would be something that Peter would call me about or I would tell him ... especially since it's an episode of Bugs Bunny that we both knew by heart."

I smiled through the phone and said "yeah, I understand." And I did. That's what happens when you lose someone ... you deal with the pain of missing them ... and you go on with your life.

Then all of the sudden, something happens and your natural instinct is to pick up the phone at 3am and say, "Hey Pete, I'm watching Channel 25 and Lon Chaney is on and there is a little person playing a baby who is smoking a cigar." Then you are staring at the phone thinking ... shit ... now who am I gonna talk to who understands me and my humor.

That's when it sucks.

But, I bring this up because it's a good Bugs Bunny episode. One of Pete's favorites. In fact, it's a phrase he'd use all the time. Finster ... Finster Baby ... When we weren't watching the episode together as kids, Peter would use that Bugs Bunny phrase to talk to kids and refer to babies as Finster. He loved to use his Bugs Bunny voice and tell jokes.

It's Friday ... go do something crazy ... I'm gonna go surf the waves at Rockaway Beach ... Enjoy

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-bUAyMv2yRc
Canada Live Concert

After I'm Dead I'll Just Be P-E-A-T

2011-08-18T04:00:00.008-04:00

Thank you Karla

I might be mistaken but you guys are starting to sound like fans of Peter and TON. Here are your collective additions to yesterday's blog about the Isms of Peter Steele:

Being bipolar and of Polish descent made him: BiPolack.

Let me say Pepsi generation, a few lines of misinformation, watch your money flow away oh so quick, to kill yourself properly, Coke is it

Creepy Green Light

In our Meat Triangle

Once Upon a Slime

Profit of Doom

Dark Side of the Womb

In a Pyromantic Way

Can you help me feel love, because I’m not made of Steele

World Renowned failure, at both death and life

Flock of Assholes

The Drab Four

Roadruiner Records

We are not right wings nor left wings … but chicken wings

Chickspiracy

Am I a snob? Call me whatever the fuck you want. Call me whatever four-letter word you want. Okay? “Pete” – another four-letter word. And after I’m dead, it’ll be “P-E-A-T” (from Rocksalt.mx interview)

Eat shit white trash media lackeys, fuck you and your weak world, die

A Special thanks to the radical left for making me famous (reference to Al Gore's wife whose organization put Carnivore album on the "bad" list)

‘Cause I’m an equal opportunity destroyer

If not for the courage of the fearless crew the band would be lost (I stand corrected. It is Gilligan's Island. Sorry. Not from Lost in Space theme – another tv show favorite of Pete’s)

TONTONTONTONTONTONTON

I Can Agree With The Mistress' Other Band Choices, but Guns n Roses?

Courtesy of Revolver Mag:

Mistress Juliya is best known for her work on Fuse TV hosting such metal-themed shows as Uranium, Metal Asylum, Let It Rock, and Slave to the Metal. She has also made appearances at the Rockstar Energy Drink Mayhem Festival and Rock on the Range. She currently co-hosts the Top Twenty Countdown on Fuse premiering at 5 P.M. every Tuesday. Email your advice questions for her to AskJuliya@revolvermag.com and check back every Wednesday for her latest column.

I know I’m sure you get these questions all the time…. But what are your favorite five bands of all time and your favorite five movies of all time? I have been a fan for a while, and I think you are great!—Zach

Dear Zach, these questions are always hard as there are so many…but here is what I came up with:

BANDS:
Guns N’ Roses
Pantera
Ministry
Type O Negative
Nine Inch Nails

MOVIES:
Dracula *
Rosemary’s Baby *
The Exorcist *
The Godfather
Edward Scissorhands *

* BTW: Peter loved these movies. Scissorhands was a favorite for many of the sisters too.

This Post Should Be Called ...

2011-08-17T04:00:00.004-04:00

Today's post should be called "How Many Ways I Hate Blogger ... Let Me Count The Ways ! " because they lost today's post and I had to recreate the post from memory. Sorry ... ok... I'm done boo bitching now ...

Courtesy of Soundcenter.com

The other night my immediate family had a little birthday dinner for one of Peter Steele's sisters, Pat. Just a few of us. It was nice. Marie made Italian sauce (no cinnamon). While we were eating, Pat came up with a game recalling some of Peter's best "play on words" or puns as we were referring to them as. Peter used them in interviews, lyrics, cd covers and in every day speech. It was the special way he looked at things - I guess smart people can do that with words and meanings.

Here are some of our favorites. What are yours?

Christmas Mourning

Saturday Night Seizures

Electro-Cute

Wrath X Speed of Fright Squared

Bensonhoist Lesbian Choir, Courtesy of Loud & Queer Records

Boo Bitchcraft

(She was ... ) Rock Hard

Periodic Tableware

God ... I don't have caller id, hey was that you pranking me?

Her Soul Done Medium Well

Christians Who Like Cats = Cat-Licks

A Dead Time Story

Venus Envy

Let Us Prey

Supercidal

TechnoSapien

I think I'm schizophrenic, but I can't make up my mind

Our Love Of Pete Consensus Regarding Aug 16th's Munsters Blog:

* Black # 1
* How Could She
* My Girlfriend's Girlfriend
* Who Will Save the Sane

TONTONTONTONTONTONTON

Really Clear Video: Are You Afraid

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=78upb93d5aI

Do You See The Resemblance?

2011-08-16T04:00:00.001-04:00

It's no secret that Peter loved The Munsters tv show. Not only did Pete use some of the music from the show to spice up his songs, he always felt that our family represented a little bit of Herman and Lily Munster.

So tell me, can you name the songs and albums that Peter used Munster references in?

From his unconventional mother Nettie who was always doing things very different from her neighbors to his father, Pete Sr. who his son lovingly called "Herman" when he wasn't in the room because of his defining broad body and square-shaped head. Peter himself lived in the basement and would often refer to himself as the creature from the basement (spot) or the mad scientist (grandpa). We all thought Peter looked a bit like Eddie Munster when he was younger.

In fact, either Pete's sister Nancy or Nettie had three hand towels made that were embroidered with the words: Him, Her, & The Thing That Lives In the Basement. Peter loved those towels and proudly displayed them in the bathroom.

When I was younger, afternoons meant gathering around the tv watching the Munsters. In between during the commercials, Peter would jump up and run to the piano to play the distinctive show music. He didn't have the sheet music for it, but could figure it out by listening and imitating.

Original 1964 version: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iuHr00nxeew

Slightly more upbeat version: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oFCnvH2E-6A

TON Unplugged ... A little too raw for me ... but you guys judge:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zvDSRNcP1Ug